Everyone Thankful

Complaining is easy, being thankful on the other hand is hard work.

The other night I was reminded of a cool phrase.  Just as I was about to give grace at a family gathering my wife reminded me of a prayer my brother-in -law gave once before a picnic.  All he said as he looked around was this, “EVERYONE THANKFUL?”  Everybody bobbed their head yes and with that he said, “AMEN.”

Three words, five seconds. Done.

 

As we approach the Thanksgiving season that question, “EVERYONE THANKFUL?”,  reminds me that my life should be answering  it.  Truly thankful should be defined by significant things that we cherish in our lives along with everyday niceties that make life more bearable.

So, here is my list of things/ people I am truly thankful for:

-          Those brave enough to pave the way for us, like the Pilgrims

-          Family: great wife, wonderful kids, loving parents and in-laws, and everyone else related to me that puts up with me.

-          More than enough food to eat

-          A house which is heated and shelters me from the cruel weather

-          A job that pays the bills

-          Lungs that fill up with air and a heart that beats

-          Vehicles that allow me travel near and far at my bidding

-          New slippers that keep my feet warm

-          Coffee with friends who speak truth into me

-          Others, who in their brokenness just like mine, force me out of my comfort zone.

-          A God who loves me despite how often I fail Him

-          A Savior who died for my sins

The list goes on and on, but the pervading thought is that of being thankful.  It is the best way to live.  Less people will avoid you and you will have more significant friends.  Your smile will mean something and people won’t refer to you as fake or someone who is half hearted.  

So, as we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving,  I believe the best way is to practice the art of appreciation.  In layman’s terms that means I should make an attempt to remember the good and focus less on the bad.  It also means I should live in such a way that my life honors those who have gone before and above all Almighty God.

Everyone thankful should be a way we all live every day, not just a short prayer we utter before we chow down.

Swavel

Still Good

 

Do no harm still remains a good motto to follow.

As a man, our first instinct should be to protect, not harm those we love.  If you are a pro football fan, like me, these past three months have been beyond disturbing.   Sadly, in the last few months we have been over exposed to the ugly side of what men, who wear helmets for a living as they  crash into one another, can do to those they love when lose self-control.

All is not lost however and recently something happened to help me see that more clearly.  It is a moving story about a father who loves his child more than himself and that man happens to be a football player by the name of Devon Still.

 

Devon Still is a third year defensive lineman who plays for the Cincinnati Bengals of the NFL.   Just this past June, without any warning, Devon Still received the worst news any parent could ever be told. While he was in training camp vying for a roster spot, he was told by doctors that his four year old daughter, Leah, had a form of cancer called Neuroblastomia.  Still was told that Leah had a 50 % chance of survival.

The football playing father immediately put his career on hold.  “She’s fighting for her life…sports is not more important than me being there while my daughter is fighting for her life.”  Since that day,   Devon spent the next three weeks sleeping next to his daughter at the hospital despite a football related injury he had recently suffered.  Still even shaved his head bald to show support for his daughter who lost her hair due to the chemo therapy treatment. 

Fortunately, after several weeks of treatment Leah was doing well enough that her father decided to go back to football camp. Still had weighed her costs of continued treatment around million dollars,  so he came back in order to keep his health benefits.  Unfortunately when training camp was over the Bengals waived Devon.  Then something wonderful happened.  Instead of just letting him go the Bengals put him on the practice squad, so he could keep his insurance to help pay for Leah’s treatment.  Still was beyond grateful as this allowed him to spend maximum time with his daughter.

Then something even more remarkable happened, the news of Leah and Devon Still began to go viral.  In an effort to aid the cause further the Bengals announced that proceeds from the sales of Still’s # 75 football jersey, which sells for $100, would be given to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital to support kids’ cancer research.  Reportedly, by the end of October, donations for Still’s jersey topped over 1 million dollars. Devon Still, and others like him, remind us that more times than not we should focus on something more important than a touchdown; someone’s life.

Evil is always present, yet still good exists if we are willing to pursue it

Swavel

 

Whistle Clearly

 

Few things put my mind more at ease than the sound of a train whistle.

From time to time a train will come through my neighborhood causing me to take pause.  In my imagination I can see the smoke billowing out of the locomotive’s stack as its whistle pierces the air like a welcome friend saying hello.  It momentarily calms me, no matter my concern, like a cup of hot coffee for the soul.  

When I hear the sound of a train whistle it reminds me about all that is good in life. To me our existence here on Earth can be likened to that of a short train ride.  That whistle can also be a reminder of how short our lives are and how we need to make every day it count.

The other day I was reading the newspaper and came across the obituary page.  There among the eighty and the ninety year olds I found someone who died at my age, forty six.  Our life can be summed up by three things, that are all engraved on a gravestone marker.  The date we are born, the date we have died and the dash in between them. That dash, like a whistle, is how we lived our lives.

Recently, I read that a 22 year old, aspiring major league baseball player, named Oscar Tavares had died in a car accident.  Death is no respecter of persons, regardless of their natural sports ability or celebrity. Death cares not about potential nor earning power.  Tavares was supposed to be the next Albert Pujols, but his whistle had blown and now he is gone.  

This reminds me of a scene from the movie, We are Marshall.  The movie is based on the true story about the 1970 plane crash that claimed the lives of 170 people associated with the Marshall Football team.  Notably gone was the head coach, many of the administrators, nearly all the players and most of the assistant coaches.  The town was devastated, not to mention a certain assistant named Red Dawson, who felt he should have died with them.

In the movie, the new head coach tries to recruit Red to rejoin the team and uses an illustration of a train that had derailed about a year before.   As they are conversing on a shed roof, the head coach hears a whistle, and sees that same train off in the distance now running again.  He looks at Red and points to the train saying nonchalantly, “Looks like they’re back on track.”

There was another time in my life, many years ago, that contained a moment when I didn’t feel like blowing my whistle.  On that fateful night, while staying at a hotel many hours from home, my life had been turned upside down and the next day I was facing a decision that would affect the rest of my life.  Sometimes, you just can’t stop life from coming and doing what it will, so subsequently I took a prescribed sleeping pill to insure I would be well rested for the next day.

But, before I laid down a friend and I went to the grocery store to get a few odds and ends.  It  was there that the meds began kicking in as I went running down the aisles,  talking nonstop and just acting all crazy.  Then my friend convinced me I had better get some sleep, so he drove back to the hotel. As clear as day, I can still recall saying to him I wasn’t tired and then laying down while muttering something about, “the big train’s slowing down.’  And with that I was fast asleep.  Fairly well rested the next morning I arose and did what had to be done and blew my whistle regardless od the difficulty.

Life is short and no matter how derailed we may feel there is always time to get back on track, try again and blow that whistle.  Never stay derailed; because we negatively affect so many others we love when we choose to stay in the ditch of life.  If the truth be told, we may never know how many others’ spirits we have lifted or could have lifted with the sound of our whistle.

It is never too late to get your life back on track and whistle clearly with it.

Swavel

Real or Styrofoam

 

Tales are told to entertain; true stories are conveyed to reveal value.

The story of Jonah and the big fish is one that makes you think.  Our natural human reaction is that it comes across as a nice story.  Many of us have heard it in Sunday School and then made a corresponding craft about it out of a Styrofoam plate, like the one above.  Sadly, I feel many of us feel it has no merit nowadays.

The story of Jonah is important.  Jesus thought so. He believed it to be true and said so in the Bible.  It has all the great elements of a compelling story: adventure, conflict, forgiveness, repentance, mercy, and a giant monster of a fish. 

At the crux of this big fish story we have a guy, Jonah, who God Himself told to go to Nineveh and tell them to repent from their evil ways.  Jonah, who was a prophet back in Bible Times, had a good reason to be afraid because God told to go to a city renowned for its killing and wickedness. Nineveh had a reputation for not taking kindly to other people's advice. 

Since Jonah was afraid, like most of us would have been, he took a ship in the opposite direction.  Then God forced him to take a timeout and think about his disobedience, by putting a tempestuous storm in his path.  When the crew discovered Jonah was at fault it was decided by all concerned to throw him overboard, so the storm would cease.  As he landed in the waves the storm subsided, then a great fish came and swallowed Jonah. 

Allow me to pause for a moment, for this begs a very important question. Yes or No, was Jonah really swallowed by a great fish? 

This answer matters because either this story is fiction or truth.  As stated earlier, Jesus believed this story to be true.  There is also evidence throughout history that certain large fish have swallowed animals as big as humans.  Yes, being swallowed whole be a giant fish would be miraculous, but it’s possible.

According to the Bible this great fish was one that God had prepared ahead of time to swallow Jonah.  Many believe it was a whale, however I think it matters more if such a fish could exist. In my opinion, God created the world in six days therefore He certainly could create a specifically designed fish large enough to swallow a man whole in its belly and sustain him for three days. 

 

Ok back to the story… To be swallowed by a giant fish must have been beyond terrifying for Jonah or any human being to experience.  It definitely had to be one of those moments that was impossible to describe unless you were there.

Subsequently God was just getting Jonah’s attention, not punishing him by sending the enormous fish to swallow him.  He was utilizing his own GPS- God’s Positioning System.  Dark, wet, alone and scared out of his mind, poor Jonah had time to think and pray about his predicament. Then, God caused the fish to vomit him onto dry land.  Ironically very close to Nineveh.

So, picture this, a man who smells awful, covered with rashes, missing hair and probably without clothes, yet now feeling motivated to reconsider his actions   Consequently, it says in the Bible that the Lord came a second time and told Jonah to “arise, go to Nineveh and cry out against it. This time I  am imagining that Jonah was in no mood to disobey. So, Jonah arose and made the three day walk.  When he got there this is what he said, “Yet forty days and Nineveh shall be overthrown."

Short but highly effective, Nineveh knew God meant business.  Therefore they repented turning from their wickedness causing God to forgive them and not utterly destroy them.  However, in the end Jonah grows bitter because God showed mercy. Poor Jonah, he could accept God’s forgiveness for his short comings, but he didn’t like to extend God’s forgiveness to others he felt deserved to pay for their mistakes. Sadly, we all are like this from time to time.

The point of all this is two things. First, when God says arise and GO you better, because far too often we take God’s instructions as advice.  Second, when God does something truly amazing It should be believed because our God is capable of such things. 

What is your status concerning Jonah’s fish story: real or Styrofoam?

Swavel

Yes Can Do

Every person is the born with the ability to do something worthwhile, if only he takes the chance.

Just an observation, but it has become apparent to me in my 46 years of life that we all can do a lot if we put our minds to it.  However, there is also lot we perceive we can’t do and for some odd reason we far too often judge ourselves by that.  An old song by Hall and Oates, called, “No Can Do” tends to sum up how many of us do life.

The following is a list of things I can’t do:

-Can’t swim underwater

-Can’t dance

-Can’t type without looking at the keys. 

-Can’t do a fundraiser to save my life

-Can’t relive yesterday

-Can’t do anything right at times

-Can’t do anything of eternal significance without God’s help

-Can’t stay awake after 9 pm without nodding off a bit

-Can’t handle the pain at times

-Can’t help but get lost when driving to an unfamiliar location

 

The following is a list of things I can do:

-Can give free bug advice to those who need it

-Can die to myself daily

-Can do my best to be less annoying

-Can try to empty myself of all but love on my wife first and then my kids

-Can try to improve everyday

-Can be more helpful than hurtful

-Can pick up family and friends from the airport

-Can live today to the best of my ability

-Can make chocolate Swavels (homemade shakes) for family and friends

-Can be there for someone when they need me to be there

 

With that being said, several months ago someone very dear to me asked if I could do something that was on my can’t do list. Normally I would have politely declined because this request was far outside my comfort zone.  However, I was willing to risk the embarrassment since the person asking was someone very special.  Not to mention, I was filling in for someone else who was very exceptional in their own right and couldn’t rightfully fulfill the unique role at hand.  However in the end, yes can do won out, and it turned out to be an extraordinary moment I will always cherish.  One I will never forget and a beautiful opportunity for both of us to shed happy tears.

Another can’t on my list I had to shed was the one that says, can’t handle the pain at times.  Many years ago, for a prolonged period of time, pain ruled my life and I wore it.   I didn’t have a love for life and possessed an “I don’t care” kind of attitude.  Problems arise when can’t turns into won’t try and life becomes colored with agony.  People certainly stop calling you up and asking to do things for them or with you. Never buy into the lie you can’t do anything right, that is just the pain talking.

Thankfully, that mentality has worn off.  If it hadn’t I would have missed out on so much, including the above mentioned shedding of  happy tears. My point is that when someone in your life needs you to do something for them, even if it is not your strong suite, strongly consider doing it any way.

No can do is turned into yes can do when love motivates us be compassionate over comfortable.

Swavel

 

About Time

 

 

Whether we like it or not, time is how we as humans mark things.

When it comes to time I have a love-hate relationship with it.  At times, I care not about it. At other times it guides my every move. Nevertheless, regardless of my opinion, time remains ever present.

Someday, I would like to have a large clock in my house, much like the one pictured above.  Perhaps, I could hang it in the living room, sort of like a decoration and an incentive all rolled into one, set five minutes early in an effort to motivate myself to be on time.

This past father’s day I was without a watch, so my wife got me one. However, this watch was far different than any I had ever had before and only once I got it out of the package was that apparent. It had a wraparound band designed like a ladies’ watch that did not fit my wrist and it had gold hands on a gold background that made it difficult to read. 

My wife suggested the watch might not be suitable and to just take it back.  But, after a month I cut the band and put some holes in it so it would fit correctly.  Initially it made my wrist break out in a rash, but a band aid on the back corrected that misfortune and I have worn it ever since. It is nice to have the time again, even if it requires a little effort to read.   In the long run the reason I kept the watch was I loved the person who gave it to me and decided to just make it work.

Many years ago there was a day that time was the enemy.  During this moment I was sitting in a locker room in the Hershey Hospital while I waited to say goodbye to someone irreplaceable in my life.  Strangely, time seemed to be all that mattered and at the same time didn’t matter at all.  The clock looming right in front of me was one similar to the school clocks I remember when I was a child.  It had a white face, black hands and I believe a red second hand. 

Whether it was ticking or not, I can’t remember, but I do recall watching the clock hoping it would just stay frozen.  To make time stand still would be unfair, because living is moving forward, like any good clock does and time stands still for no one. With that clock looming in front of me something was telling me to make the most of a no-win situation.  So, when the time came, with all the dignity I could muster, I bid my loved one goodbye for now.

As mentioned before, time remains ever present, which reminds me of the timepiece I can still vividly recall from my childhood in my Pop Pop’s kitchen.  Can’t remember if it was a mantle clock or a grandfather clock, but when the house was quiet it was the only noise you could hear.  It gave me great perspective to listen to time pass.  Tick tock, tick tock, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. 

All these references to time remind me that God works on his own time and not mine.  With that said I would love to see God’s timepiece someday. Although at times it may appear God is hard to read, like the watch I currently wear, sometimes you must tilt your head and be observant to what God wants us to do with our allotted time. No matter our predicament, as long as there is time on the clock, it  means that God has more for us to do.

Time doesn’t change anything; it’s what we do during the time we are given that makes all the difference.

Swavel

Just Right

 

In life, like on vacation, simplicity often gets mucked up by expectation.

We all have must have lists in our heads.  In my opinion the underlying thought of vacationers,   home buyers, soon to be brides, kids at Christmas, etc. is: “if you give me what I want I’ll be happy.” 

My family and I visited the Jersey Shore just a week ago, the last weekend of September.  The following is a makeshift must have list I had in my head in order to have a perfect vacation:

-Motel with an ocean front view

- Dolphins jumping amidst the waves

- Sun bright, not blinding

-Waves breaking just right

- Ships a plenty sailing in the ocean distance

- Seagulls on telephone poles

- 80 degrees or so

- Sunny, not cloudy

- The smell of salt in the air, but not overwhelming

- My wife to catch something in the crane game

- Special coffee from the unique coffee shop

- Not to lose anything of value

- Ride the go-karts beating all family members

- Outdoor pool warm at the motel for the kids

- Riding a four passenger bicycle together with my family

- Just enough people for shops to be open, but not overcrowded

- Enough socks for the weekend

- My son from Iowa to join us for the weekend

- Everybody having fun

 

All my requests were plausible, right?  Well, not really. Point is we all expect way too much.

With that in mind, a little reality check seems to be in order.  The following are two exceptional examples that helped to rein me back in and gain the proper perspective.

First example- The other day a good friend of my wife and I posted one of her husband’s favorite scripture passages on Facebook.  It was Matthew 9: 25-26 which speaks basically of not worrying about the cares of this life, but instead trusting God to take care of us.  Worrying about uncertainty will just wear you out. Making this even more profound is that her husband changed his address to heaven six months ago. Now that’s some real perspective. 

Second example- On the last day we were at the shore I met a guy in orange shorts on the beach talking about his experiences of being a missionary.  He was a tall man in his late sixties, balding, very forthright and with little thought of impressing me.  He spoke of living by faith in impoverished countries like Africa, India, and China.   He spoke of people being healed and other acts of God and living according to what God wants, not what we want.  I left our conversation thinking that success is a matter of being obedient to God, not just striving to be comfortable.   Now my reality check is complete. 

For the record, the day my family and I left the ocean, the weather was overcast, one ship was on the horizon , and a dolphin or two were jumping amidst the fairly calm waves.  I’ll take it. 

Just right is an illusion I chase that robs me of the joy that God has in store for me today. 

Swavel

Having Tete a Tete

Private conversations are always the best way to convey you care.

On my youngest daughter‘s eleventh birthday, I inadvertently made an fascinating discovery.  We were sitting at our kitchen table reading a poem for school when we happened upon this word: tete a tete.  She read the word while laughing at how it sounded.  Neither of us knew what it meant, so I looked it up and learned it means a private conversation between two people.

Despite the odd sounding title, deep down inside of us, I believe we all want someone to have tete a tete with us.  Perhaps with a parent, a friend, a spouse, someone we admire or someone we hold dear.

For instance, in just the past month I have unsuspectingly had tete a tete with all those I love in my direct family.  Whether it is having a coffee with my son in Iowa or reading a book with my eldest daughter or a poem with my youngest daughter in Pennsylvania or watching a DVD with my wife on our living room sofa. Sort of like divine appointments, but all private conversations with ones I love. 

However, I would be remiss if I did not highly recommend that we all should be having private conversations with God on a daily basis.  My most dramatic discussion came fourteen years ago, during a time in my life where I was fighting hard not to lose hope.  It was during this tragic period where the ones I loved most were all in a hospital and I was left feeling useless.  The only one I truly could hold tete a tete with at that moment was Almighty God.  I told Him gut level honest what I was feeling, asking Him to give me a purpose and then I stopped to listen.  Like a voice in my head I could hear Him speak, “Aaron, do you trust me.”

Sadly, up to that point for thirty two years of my life, I think I was trying to do life using God as my consultant. At that moment God revealed to me that he is capable of far more than I could ever imagine and always does best.  He just asks me to trust and obey and He will take care of the rest. Speaking from experience, time after tested time, God has proven worthy of that trust.

Case in point, fourteen years later after my private conversation with God, He is still amazing me.  The very fact my eleven year old Chinese daughter and I could be having tete a tete at beginning of this story defies logic.  It didn’t happen by accident, it was a God thing.  For my eleven year old to even be available to be my daughter God saw to it that many people took excellent care of her for eight years  half a world away.  Then, God motivated many people to help a crazy couple who were simply trusting God to raise support to get her to my kitchen table.  And now thanks to God and all those who obeyed Him, I can read poems with my daughter and fully understand what having tete a tete truly means.

 Having a memorable tete a tete consists of availability, obedience, and good ear.

Swavel

 

O Yes

 

Having a favorite team gives us a reason to live vicariously once in a while, with hopes of winning it all.

Seventeen years ago.   That is how long it has been since my favorite baseball team, the Baltimore Orioles, last won its division. It was 1997, the year Princess Dianna died, gasoline was $1.22 a gallon and sheep were being cloned.           

Just recently, someone asked me why I cheer for the Orioles, since I reside in the Philadelphia area?   My answer is a little offbeat.  While watching an All Star Game in 1979 I noticed a Baltimore Orioles’ hitter with a cool logo on his helmet and I liked it. Not to mention their main color is my favorite color: orange.  So, after that I cheered for the Phillies in the National League and the Orioles in the American League. 

Then a few years later the Phillies traded my favorite player, Manny Trillo away and I began to exclusively cheer for the Orioles. To say the least, this decision did not go over well where I lived and I even endured having the Oriole mascot being called a woodpecker.  However, that just seemed to fuel my fire even more to cheer for the Orioles, affectionately known by diehards as the O’s.

Now, I am moderately hoping to celebrate a World Series victory by the O’s this year, but I am not holding my breath.  Heck, the last time the Orioles did that was in 1983.  Fortunately, I no longer live and die with my team and get into arguments like I used to when I was fifteen and full of testosterone.  Back then I was obnoxious and feeling the need to defend my squad in church foyers, school libraries or wherever I was at the time. Often, I would get to finger pointing and raising my voice to defend my team. 

Back in the day, when the Orioles won the World Series the big names were Cal Ripken, Jr, Eddie Murray, Rick Dempsey, Tippy Martinez and Scott Mc Gregor.  My favorite all time Orioles’ highlight came in the 1983 playoffs when the O’s needed a big play in the fourth game of the playoffs.  A seldom used utility outfielder named Tito Landrum came to bat in extra innings with the hopes of just getting on base.  To my surprise he hit the ball out of the park giving the Orioles the victory and a spot in the World Series.

Strangely enough, the 1983 World Series matched the Orioles vs. the Phillies prompting the local fans to come out of the woodwork to harass me.   As it turned out the Orioles won in five games to become World Champs. Unfortunately for me the final game was on a Sunday night and I missed the entire game due to church.  On top of that, for weeks after the fact, my critics avoided me like the plague. It even took me six months to get a World Champs t-shirt because there was no e-bay.

All that to say, is I hope the O’s win, I really do.  But, it’s no longer a matter of life or death anymore and I suppose it never really should have been.  The last I checked the Baltimore Orioles don’t need my help or support, but it sure is a nice feeling when they win.

The fact remains, being able to say, “O yes my team just won” always feels much better than saying, “Oh no my team just blew it again.”

Swavel

Own Thing

It is one thing to do your own thing and altogether another thing to be you own person.

In today’s world we love to say make it your own or do your own thing.  The words sound so crisp, so invigorating and downright inspiring.  On a whole, our entire society has fallen for the idea of doing our own thing and the freedom it brings. 

With that in mind, the other week I was reading an article about a new fad.  It was about how some people, mostly women, enjoy wearing yoga pants as a fashion statement, but never attend a yoga class in them.  Claiming they are so comfortable they want to wear them all the time and not what they were designed for, which is to do yoga in them.   Even buying them at ninety bucks a pop at some stores literally making it their own thing.

If the truth be told, many of us make things are own.  Some people smoke a cigarette after they workout.  Some people wear wool winter hats in the summer. Some even go shirtless at sporting events when the temperature is below freezing.  Some wear black socks with shorts. Some wear hiking boots and flannel shirts and never go hiking.  The list goes on and on.

However, if I were to get introspective, I do odd things as well.

For instance, since I don’t go to bed early enough I make it my own and drink excessive amounts of coffee in the morning in order to stay alert. 

If I have a bad day I eat chocolate instead of exercising, yet both relieve stress, one in a healthy way and one not. 

Every day I compulsively carry a pen in my pocket, just in case I or someone else might need one.  This occasionally results in disaster when the pen is forgotten and goes through the washer and the dryer leaving a mess behind. 

The same compulsion applies with tissues during the winter which results in a mess throughout the wash looking much like a spider web.

Often, I don’t take the time to comb my hair choosing rather to wear a baseball hat. 

Sometimes sadly, I would rather watch sports than take the time instead to hear from God.  Can’t believe I said that, but it’s true. Heaven help me I’m a mess. 

It is my own belief that doing our own thing is a culmination of little habits we have grown accustomed to performing over a period of time.  These little actions then become a very part of the fabric of our lives. 

However, in turn, we should be careful not to allow our habits to replace our need to trust God with everything.  When left to our own devices the result is always disappointment and failure.  This makes sense since Proverbs speaks against this doing your own thing kind of mindset: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death”.

With that being said, I believe it should be our goal in life to be well pleasing to God.  Now, that is something to strive for, rather than just trying to make myself happy and do my own thing.

When you do your own thing you may get what you want, but in the end not what you need.

Swavel