Every man dies. Not every man truly lives. William Wallace
We
all get misty sometimes. Especially, when we think of what might have
been. It’s OK to have a moment and cry and miss someone or just be sad.
Then
take that memory, make it smile and go forward in your life.
Here are two recent personal examples of having a moment:
Example A-
Just the other day I saw what might have been. It was a Saturday
morning and we needed milk for cereal, so I drove to the local gas
station to get some.
It was with milk in hand that out of the corner of my eye I saw a young
girl in her early twenties. She was nicely dressed with a white
blouse, bright blue belt, matching purse and a plain ankle length
skirt. Something, in an innocent way, seemed familiar
about her.
Then
as I got into my car to leave I saw her fueling up her car, which was an
older foreign model. Who knows where she was going, just starting her
day
off or setting out on an adventure? It made no sense why this young
girl in her twenties, had caught my attention. Then, it hit me, she
reminded me of my daughter, Alisha, who would have been about her age,
if she were still alive.
So,
as I drove by the girl in the bright blue belt and purse I smiled to
myself, remembered my daughter and had a moment. Not angry, just
reflective.
Personally, I was happy to see others making their way in the world and
content to know my daughter is safe in the arms of Jesus. Till that
great day when I can hold her again, I will try to keep taking one day
at a time. Just like the girl at the gas pump,
as she treated life like a big adventure, moving ever forward.
Example B-
This
was one of those tear jerking occasions I saw coming, but refused to get out of the way.
This past October my niece, Erica, asked me to join her in the
father-daughter
dance at her wedding. Her dad had died in 2009 and could not fulfill
his privileged obligation and my daughter, who I would never get to
dance with, had died when she was seven. We both knew it wouldn’t be
easy, not to mention my dancing skills are awful.
However, to not dance would be us not making the most out of a
difficult situation. Love for my niece and wanting her to have a good
memory on her wedding day made me try regardless of the outcome.
Out on the dance floor, despite my two left feet, something wonderful was transpiring. When the song, You’ll Be in My Heart from the movie Tarzan,
played I began to cry, even though I knew it was coming. These
were the last words I had sung to my daughter before she died, because
it was her favorite song. Then, my niece began to cry.
Halfway through she even offered to let me off the hook, but the moment
needed to be had. I apologized for my lousy skills and she reminded me
her dad
was a white guy who couldn’t dance either. Then something magical
happened, we began to laugh and eventually smile. As I turned her round
and around in circles, I was hoping the song would end so we could stop
crying and at the same time hoping it would last
a bit longer. As it ended I kissed Erica on the cheek, said something mushy and disappeared into the crowd, so I
could be alone with my thoughts.
Life is seldom fair. However, that evening I learned this,
healing begins by crying, eventually turns to laughter, and ends in a smile, if you let it.
Having a moment to honor those we love is natural; just don’t waste your life wallowing over what might have been.
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