Work of Art

 

To define a work of art is a difficult thing, however when you see one, you just know.

For instance, the Mona Lisa hangs in the hallowed Louvre in France, yet for the life of me she just appears to be an ordinary woman no one knows that terribly much about. The same goes for Whistler’s Mother, who I’m sure was a lovely woman, yet if Whistler had not painted her I doubt anyone would have been any the wiser. Then there is the famous painting of a famer with his pitchfork and his wife gauntly staring forward known as the American Gothic that always seemed a bit dubious to me.

Yet, somehow all these works of art wielding a universal appeal have stood the test of time.. There is just something captivating in these paintings, an intangible that transforms people back to another time and place, something that people can relate to and find comfort in it.

For me personally, there is an unnamed work of art that hangs in a hallway where I work, that warms my heart every time I pass by it. It is an oil painting in pastel colors of a city skyline at night. Try as I might, every time that I inquire about it no one seems to be able to shed any light on the painting or its author. However, the one thing that draws my attention most is the reddish/orange heart off in the corner of this work of art. Allow me to explain.

About twelve years ago, my daughter, Alisha, who was almost seven at the time drew something for me on a scrap of paper drawn in markers, with the intent purpose of being a bookmarker. It was simple and had an orange heart on it that read, “Jesus loves You.” It is said that kids teach us far more than we ever teach them. A month after Alisha drew that work of art she died and left behind her a reminder of the simple truth of how much Jesus loves me. That orange heart is like rainbow to me, kind of like what God sent Noah after the flood. Just like the heart in the unnamed picture I mentioned previously, Alisha’s bookmarker reminds me Jesus loves me. Even in my darkest moments, Jesus is not against me, rather He loved me so much and all of us that He gave up His very own life for ours. Now that’s a love or a work of art worth remembering. Her work of art hangs in my cubicle at work to remind me to empty myself of all but love on a daily basis.

Around ten years ago, my son, Jordan, drew a cartoon about me being an exterminator that I have till this day hanging in my cubicle at work. In the picture I am being chased by an angry homeowner after I sprayed in her garden by accident, then I am chased by angry bees, then I am driving in my truck and finally it ends with me eating a sandwich for lunch. The caption reads like this : Hi father. Go get um. Kill dem bug. Spray, spray, spray. Drive , drive , drive. Complain, complain, complain. I love that boy and his artwork because he showed me that he appreciated what I did for him. To this day, this drawing in red marker makes me proud, because in describing an average work day for me at the time in 2002 or so, Jordan made a work of art.

My middle daughter, Sianna, has drawn many works of art over the years as well. But, there are two favorite drawings that standout the most. First, there is her panda drawing that slightly looks like a penguin. Simply drawn on white paper with black marker for the body and brown marker for the eyes, it just reminds me of how simple and basic a child’s love is. Then there is the drawing that I like to call the one eared man. Sianna was attempting to draw a panda but she stopped when it looked more like a man than a bear. For my money, it best sums me up more days than not. It is a very simple drawing of a guy smiling with one ear drawn in black marker. I must admit I do not always pay the closest attention to details, but I try to smile through life and do my best every day. Both works of art reside in my cubicle at work and remind me to keep life simple and make the most of every day.

Then there is Lia’s dolphin fin she made for me out of construction paper. One day Lia out of the clear blue starting making hats out of construction paper for my wife and I. One for Amy and her football team the Pittsburgh Steelers and then Lia made a hat for me for the Miami Dolphins, which I refer to as a Dolphin fin. Basically, they are just Lia’s version of a rally hat. They are works of art to me made in love and a childlike spirit of wanting to be accepted, all the while giving a little piece of herself to us. And like all the others resides in my cubicle at work.

All of these examples serve to remind me that you need not be famous to make a work of art, just be the best you that you possibly can be. May we all live up to the notion that each and every one of our lives is a work of art created by God and crafted by His very own hands. And as He walks by His gallery, if there is such a thing, may we give Him every reason to proudly proclaim, that work of art is mine.

Swavel

 

Temporary Convenience

When the wind blows temporary convenience doesn’t stand a chance. For instance, what occurred last week on Monday, October, 29^th, 2012, when Hurricane Sandy made landfall.

 

Very few of us like our routine or lives interrupted in any way, shape or form. So, when an act of God occurs, we tend to get scared, frustrated, and angry. We feel like we are impervious, until the wind blows and then we realize we can lose everything in a gust of wind. The reality of the matter is, life is temporary and so are the modern conveniences we have grown so accustomed to having all the time. Not until you feel like you have no control do you really understand this truth, that is always lingering in the back of the classroom with its hand held high, waiting for its turn to speak up.

 

Here are just a few snapshots of the utter devastation that Hurricane Sandy left in her wake . Entire beachfronts wiped out. In New York City, a crane dangles from a skyscraper. Down at the Jersey shore, a roller coaster is swallowed up by the Atlantic Ocean. Streets in beach towns that now look like rivers. Locally, large trees laying in yards with the roots still attached to the ground. And the story that amazed me most, train cars are swept off their rails onto the New Jersey turnpike by massive tidal waves.

 

My heart goes out to all of the families who are left homeless and without power. My family and I only lost electric for half a day, because we did not get hit by the full strength of the storm. What stays with me most from the storm, however, is being amazed by the sound of the wind that struck the house, as it howled like a freight train, sounding like at any minute it could blow right through the structure. Also, earlier in the evening, I felt so very defenseless as I went outside to move my van and was pelted by the fierce wind and the sideways rain.

 

We say, or at least I do at times, that it’s all in God’s hands. To be honest, at least from my tiny perspective, I think God allows storms, literally or figuratively, in our lives to occur to remind us He is the only one truly in control. It’s like the story in the Old Testament of the Bible about the prophet, Elijah. God is not in the wind or in all the other things Elijah encounters, God speaks to Elijah through a small still voice. I believe that God allows these outside forces to affect us in an effort to get our attention off ourselves and on Him, so we will listen when He speaks.

 

I guess what I‘m trying to say is tri-fold. Convenience is temporary, my compassion for others needs to remain constant and my trust in God needs to remain continuous regardless of when the wind blows.

Swavel

Pandemonium

Pandemonium is the best way to describe what I witnessed on October 25^th, 2012, as I hunkered down to watch Game One of the World Series. Pablo Sandoval, third baseman of the San Francisco Giants, aka Big Fat Panda, accomplished such a rare feat that only three men before him in baseball history have ever done it. What he did was shock the baseball world by hitting three homeruns in a single game of the World Series.

As I watched his accomplishment unfold, it caused me to think of my ten year daughter, Sianna, who was fast asleep. You see, several years ago, when I was in a fantasy baseball league my daughter and I co-managed a team called, you guessed it, the BIG FAT PANDAS. My daughter loves pandas and her only real mandate was that we draft Pablo Sandoval. So, we did. Ever since, when I see Sandoval playing baseball I think of my daughter, proud owner of over twenty five stuffed pandas and who at one time had dreams of growing up to rescue pandas in their habitat.

So, in honor of Pablo’s big night, my love for my daughter and her affection for pandas everywhere, I would like to share my list of 7 life lessons I learned from the movie, KUNG FU PANDA.

Word of caution: If you are not familiar with the movie, KUNG FU PANDA, please feel free to rent it at your convenience. Seeing what I am about to share with you will make less sense if you are unfamiliar with the material.

1-Climb the stairs- It’s a pretty simple concept actually, but not terribly easy to do. Over and over again in the movie, Po, is seen climbing up steps and sometimes even falling down them. Yet, time and time again he climbs them till he reaches the top. It’s hard to do what pains us, what makes us short of breath and even harder to convince yourself that this is the best alternative. Climbing hurts, but although it hurts, to get to the top you must persevere. In more cases than not, we wouldn’t truly appreciate our final destination, if we didn’t have to work so hard to get there.

2- Believe when no one else does-  Cooking and eating seemed to be more Po’s thing, than saving the village from bad guys. However, if he had not climbed the stairs during a pivotal point in the movie, he wouldn’t have been in the position to be chosen as the coveted dragon warrior. He could have easily given up his dreams of being a hero and just stayed content making noodles and no one who would have blamed him.

3- Strength is weakness- “I am THE Big Fat Panda”. This is my favorite line from the movie. The bad guy, Tai Lung the leopard, is fighting Po and can’t believe that he can’t knock the overweight panda out. In frustration he tries to punch the fluffy panda over and over again with no success. Finally, in one last act of desperation, Tai Lung jabs at Po and this time the hero grab’s the villain’s paw. The leopard responds by saying, “but you’re just a big fat panda, you can’t beat me,” to which Po says, No, I’m The Big Fat Panda, and then proceeds to……. well I won’t give the ending away, at least not yet.

4-Be kind to bunnies- This is another basic idea we should all employ on a daily basis, that is often easier said than done. During the movie, on more than one occasion, Po is kind to bunnies. He treats them nicely and protects them from their enemies; just one big fluffy creature watching out for another, smaller fuzzier one. It just makes sense to me, better to be kind than to be mean.

5-Use the death grip-  Sometimes in life when we are faced with difficulty we buckle down and give it all we got to get through. Call it the Wushi finger hold , like in the movie, or getting good grades at school or standing up and being a responsible adult. Regardless the verbiage, sometimes you just got to do what you got to do, like Po did in the end of the movie. **** Caution spoiler here**** Remember, earlier when I referred to the part in the movie when the leopard punched Po. Shortly afterward Po obliterated the bad guy when he employed the Wushi finger hold on him and saves the entire village.

6-Be who you are- Pandas are simply black and white. They don’t know they are nearly  extinct and it probably never even crossed their feeble minds. Not unlike panda bears, God made us precisely who we are for a certain purpose and provided us with certain skills to accomplish that with it. In the movie, Po never really changes who he is intrinsically, he just learns to be the best panda bear he can be.

7-Learn to respond well to the negative- More times than not people who make fun are doing it to bring you to their level. Po didn’t let the other Kung Fu warriors who had more experience get him down. At first he did, but eventually even though he was unorthodox he just kept pushing through and in the end he rescued them. How you react when people laugh at you or make fun of you is a true reflection of your real character.

Case in point, Sianna gave some excellent advice to a friend the other night when her friend sought counsel on what to do when people picked on her. Ignore rude comments, change your appearance to a point as to not draw attention, keep moving.

In summary, what Pablo Sandoval, my daughter and Kung Fu Panda have taught me most is to create your own pandemonium, always be kind and when necessary use force.

Swavel

 

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Deservingly So

Since the last article focused on men, this entry will deservingly so focus on women and the significance a good mother plays in our lives.

 

Some time ago, I was reading about a book President Obama’s mother wrote entitled, “'A Singular Woman'. It got me to thinking about one characteristic in several women I respect, that is present in all of them: there when you need her.

 

First, there is my wife, Amy. She is someone I love deeply and have watched up close now for over twenty five years. She is a defender, keeper of the castle, a don’t mess with my kids kind of mom. She is disciplined, loyal and has a keen sense of how to be resourceful and create something worthwhile on a limited budget. She is resilient and demands it of those she truly loves and holds dear. She will be skeptical at times of your motives, but supportive if you are willing to put in the time. She is not afraid to leave her comfort zone and or give up her life for her kids. She always seems to be: there when you need her.

 

Next is someone whom I have known since birth, my mom. She is an encourager and someone who wants the best for me. She used to read to me when I was young and throughout my life has always seemed to have time to listen to my troubles. When I was five, she was more than gracious to the man whose car I ran into, and never blamed him. My mom has a knack for making holidays and birthdays special. My dad and her still watch my kids once a week and more when needed. She, along with my dad, always came to all my games and special events. She always seems to be: there when you need her.

 

Then there is my neighbor and current landlord, Kass Detweiler. Mother of twelve, I knew her briefly when I was young and my parents lived in the house where I now reside. The best way to describe her is as a hope giver, because “if you don’t have hopes you don’t have anything”, she once told me. She was a pastor’s wife for over 50 years, where she developed excellent listening skills and the boldness to speak the truth. Not always right, but usually pretty close. What I love about Kass is she is willing to help you help yourself. She and her husband, Al, were all about giving someone a chance to make the most of their life. She wouldn’t do it for you, but she’ll give you a push in the right direction. For her kids, for my wife and I, and many countless others, she always seems to be: there when you need her.

 

Lastly, there is Mary, mother of Jesus.  Her love was emblematic of a mother: loyal, loving, always caring.  She was obedient, so much so that she became an unwed mother to fulfill the will of God, the Father. She lived in obscurity, poverty and often harsh surroundings. Not a complainer and very compliant to the truth. We know for a fact how she played such a key part in the Christmas story when she gave birth to Jesus in a lowly manger. The Bible also seems to indicate she was there for Jesus throughout His life.  She was definitely a there when you need her kind of mom, as she lay weeping at the foot of her son’s cross, as Jesus hung dying for our sins.

 

This is an understatement I know, but this truth can be said deservingly so, a good mom is there when you need her.
 

Swavel

Takes a Man

Last weekend, Saturday, October 6^th to Sunday, October 7^th, 2012, I witnessed inspirational actions that gave me pause and helped define for me what it takes to be a man.

1-It takes a man to carry on with dignity, even when he had hoped things were different.

A perfect example is that of Oakland A’s relief pitcher Pat Neshek.  On October 3^rd he was rejoicing with his wife over the birth of their first son, Gehrig John, whensomething went terribly wrong. Twenty three hours after their son was born, he died from a mysterious illness.

Nevertheless, on Saturday, October 6^th, only three days after the loss of his son, Pat Neshek was pitching in the playoffs versus the Detroit Tigers. He and his wife felt that he should be at the game as sort of a healing process. After suffering one of life’s most devastating blows, the death of a child, Neshek did what he could to best represent his family with dignity.

Although he pitched successfully when called upon that evening, it was what his teammates did for Neshek that most struck him.  His manager, Bob Melvin, seeking to share in his pitcher’s grief, ordered patches with GJN on them in honor of Neshek’s son. The gesture rendered the pitcher and father in tears, as he broke down overwhelmed by the support of his team.

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter if you win or not on the scoreboard, it matters most how you represent those you love.

2- It takes a man to have the back of his teammate, when he is being unjustly treated.

On Sunday, Eric Winston, offensive tackle of the Kansas City Chiefs did more than just support his quarterback, he stood up for him.  He did so by scolding the press and the fans who jeeringly cheered his quarterback, Matt Cassel, who was knocked out cold and lay motionless on the field, during their football game with the Baltimore Ravens.

This is what Winston said, “When you cheer somebody getting knocked out, I don’t care who it is….it’s sickening, 100% sickening. I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life to play football than in that moment right there.....Matt Cassel hasn’t done anything to you people…he’s a person.

The fans evidently had been disappointed with Cassel for some time and instead of thinking of him as a person, they treated him as a commodity, someone, who needed to be replaced. Winston, like a true man vehemently opposed their lack of compassion and subsequently let his viewpoint be known to everyone, loud and clear.

When someone is down on their luck, if you can’t say anything nice, at least show some respect and say nothing at all.

3-It takes a man to give a vote of confidence to another man based on his effort, not the final result.

On Sunday night, closer Jim Johnson of my favorite team, the Baltimore Orioles, gave up five runs in one inning costing his team their first game in their playoff series with their long standing rivals, the New York Yankees. Up to that point, the O’s were on an improbable run, proving all their naysayers and pundits wrong as they made the playoffs for the first time in fifteen years

However, his manager, Buck Showalter refused to blame him for an off night. He refused to judge him on one performance, but rather to look at his entire body of work throughout the entire season. You see, Showalter knew his go to guy had recorded the last out for him in fifty two out of his team’s ninety two wins.

Better than that, Buck knew the kind of man that Johnson was and is when he said, “it’s real easy to put your faith in a guy like Jim Johnson, not only as a pitcher, but as a man.” Every guy in that clubhouse knows that he’s a special guy……We like him wearing our uniform.”

The next night, in game two, the Orioles’ and Buck were rewarded for their loyalty.  Up by one in the ninth inning against the Yankees, Showalter unflinchingly handed the ball to Johnson. And his closer came through, just like he had fifty two times previously this season, as he set the Yankees’ side down in order to win the game.

When someone believes in you, even the most ordinary man can do things no one thought he could, including himself.

4- There is an epic battle that a man wages everyday against himself, one he must win.

On Sunday afternoon, a drama played itself out on an NFL field in Indianapolis. Rookie coach, Chuck Pagano, had just been diagnosed with leukemia and had been temporarily relieved as coach of the Colts until further notice from the doctors.

What seemingly was devastating news at first, apparently by Sunday had energized the team and the city of Indy. Instead of heads bowed, fans turned out in droves wearing Chuck strong t- shirts in support of their infirmed coach. The team itself, motivated by a speech the coach wrote them, came back from eighteen points down at halftime to win their game in dramatic fashion against the Green Bay Packers.

Here is what that letter said:

“My condition will not determine my position. I understand the condition, but chose to focus on my position. That is to stay positive and serve. We will, we can, we must, we have no choice, by any means necessary, we will overcome……laser sharp focus……WIN !

Certain men, despite their uncertain circumstances, know what it takes to be a man and do the right thing.

The rarest, greatest breed of men is not those who just leave us in awe, but rather those who leave us wanting more; more of their time, more of their love, more of their wisdom, more of them.

Swavel

 

 

Sand in your pants

 

The following are several things my family and I brought back with us from our recent trip to the beach.

1-Few things are more awe inspiring than when the sun meets the ocean and then bounces off of it. One morning, I went to get something from the van and I was stopped by God saying hello.

2- My wife spoke profound truth when we were leaving the beach on Saturday to go back to our hotel room. And I quote, “You know you’ve had a good day if you got some sand in your pants.”

3-Why is it of the things you can get at the beach the best ones are free. Like seashells that God gives to the ocean and in turn the ocean gives back to us. On top of this, every day God and the ocean repeat this process.

4- This may be of no significance to you, but it is of major importance to me. I did not get lost on my way down to the shore or on the way back to be precise. It pays to plan ahead, rather than wing it and pay the consequences when I get lost.

5- Please read this carefully and do not read into this, since I am an ex-exterminator. The hotel I was staying at passed the bedbug test. Never found any yet, but it’s definitely a trip ender if you do.

6- Fed the seagulls, twice to be exact. Maybe, the best part of the trip was when my family and I and threw bread, strawberries and cheez-its to a whole flock of them. Man, was that a feeding frenzy, sort of like Alfred Hitchcock’s, “The Birds”. Scary, cool, good fun.

7-One dollar ice cream cones are always good. After I purchased the cones my wife suggested we sit down on the porch of the shop and just chill. There we were, the girls with cones, me with a coffee and good tunes on the radio for our listening pleasure.

8-The beach by moonlight is special, very special. While we ate our ice cream, my wife told a story of a man who is blind, who on a moonlit night can ride his bicycle. The reason being it is the only time of the year that he can vaguely see. Now, that is cool.

9- Had a close encounter with the crane game. Years ago when I was a much younger father my eldest daughter and I had a thing when we would go to the candy crane game. It’s an awesome machine because as the motto says play till you win. So, there I stood with my two youngest daughters and watched them play till they won. It was a good moment to be alive, to remember, yet while still moving forward.

10- It is good to brief moment to feel melancholy. At times during the weekend, I would think of my son, now 21, and when he has was much younger and his hair was naturally yellow. In my mind, I could still see him catching a football on the beach, swimming in the pool, playing in the arcade and walking on the boards. Then, I would realize he is in college and be happy for the man he now is.

11- Nice to be surprise appreciated. Few things are better at the shore than fudge and to top it off, my daughter, Sianna decided to buy some for me. The only thing better is when it is on sale, which it was.

12- When doing something for the first time always properly introduce yourself. Since this was my youngest daughter’s first trip to the beach, I jokingly encouraged her, while we were on the beach, to say this, “Hello ocean, my name is Lia.” Although there was no reply, it seemed like the appropriate thing to do as the both of us shared a good laugh.

13- Good to finish well. There are few better ways to end any trip than to arrive home and find you have pizza left in your cooler, from the night before. Awesome.

Now, there is always something good to be had when you spend time with your family, even if you don’t get some sand in your pants in the process.

Swavel

Cat Tales

 

Cat saves life.

This was what I overheard on the newscast the other night as I was brushing my teeth from the adjoining hallway.  It got me to thinking because normally cats are not a favorite of mine.

Over the years I have owned two cats. One had fleas, one had ear mites. Suffice it to say the experience did not bode well for all involved. As a service guy, I even had a few run-ins with cats. Most notably the one with the attack cat who stayed in his room with the door shut, while I fled. In my past experience, cats at times have come off to me like they have Garfield syndrome: I’ll move when I feel like it and you can’t do anything about it.

Nevertheless, despite my past record with cats, I still have a fondness for what they can do for people in the way of healing properties. Here are a few tales in particular that come to mind.

Years ago during my stint as an exterminator, I met a lady who lived in an apartment complex. She was a woman in her late forties who believed her cats would talk to her by meowing and pointing out to her where the spiders and ants lived. From the moment I came in the door she would converse with me while I struggled to get a word in edge wise.

Often, she would harmlessly flirt with me, which apparently stemmed from her being alone for the greater part of the day. Unfortunately, I was under strict time restraints and couldn’t afford to sit and talk. The cats, however, seemed to fill in the gaps for her. They had time for her and listened to what she had on her mind.

There was also another time I had the pleasure of meeting an fascinating woman, who was a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit nurse. She performed a remarkable task in which she cared for children on life support or in serious life threatening conditions, where death was a constant companion.

During one of our conversations, I asked her how she would deal with the death of a child. She explained she would go home, talk to her cats, have a glass of wine and then go to bed. There are no answers sometimes o life's hardest questions and a cat does not pretend to offer any. Just to feel their warmth and hear their soothing purr is at times exactly what the doctor ordered.

Let it be known, that although I am not a cat lover, there is something invaluable to be taken from the intangibles cats offer their owners. Our feline friends offer two valuable commodities: companionship and comfort. No one wants to be alone and a cat eases the discomfort of someone who lacks social skills. On the other paw, we all want a shoulder to cry on, someone to hear us out.

May we all learn this from cats: the importance of saving a life.

Swavel

Stumble forward

Welcome to my 100th entry. Today, in honor of this milestone, I would like to talk to you about the importance of stumbling forward.   We all stumble sometimes in life. There are even times when we trip over first base, like me and former minor league baseball player, Jeremy Brown, did. Brown, is the guy from the movie, “Moneyball,” who tripped over first base on his way to second base, thinking what he hit was a double, not knowing he had hit a homerun. What the two of us also have in common is that when we tripped we fell forward, in more ways than one. When I stumbled, in the spring 0f 2010, I tore my quad muscle. During the interim, when I was laid up from surgery a family friend, Judy, mentioned I should write a blog. Well the rest, as they say, is history.     Here are some other situations where stumbling forward is a good thing.   When it comes to family, we need to do whatever it takes to play our part well. I am the head of my household, a husband, and father of four. More days than not as a parent and a husband, I wonder if I am even close to doing anything positive for my family. But, I stumble forward doing my best anyway. Yet, I truly believe it is the most significant role I will ever get to play.   Just the other day, someone from work reminded me I was someone special because I was a dad. It is a huge responsibility wrapped in a privilege to be head of a family. Sometimes, it scares the tar out of me, when I think about it too long. However, there is nothing nicer than a hug and a “dad you’re the best” or my wife telling me how much she appreciates me. Even if isn’t entirely true all the time.   Recently, there was the time when my wife and I both stumbled forward together when God convinced us to adopt our youngest daughter, Lia, from China. I’ve said it before, but that was crazy. We had no finances, no resources, and no clue how to raise funds. We had faith in God though and when it comes to doing the impossible that is more than enough; in essence it is all that truly matters. We checked our inhibitions, sanity, and fears at the door on more than one occasion because we were scared out of our minds that we had gotten in over our heads. In the end, God performed a miracle and Lia just celebrated he ninth birthday, and first with us, just a week ago.   Currently, as well, our country is in the midst of trying to stumble forward. Sure, the good old USA has seen better days, but, I said this before and I stand by it, you would be hard pressed to find another country that comes close. We are beyond blessed to live in his country. If you ever doubt that America is the best country in the world, just leave for a week. You will come home hankering for some kind of food they don’t make over there or like me and my son, Jordan, you will come home with an unquenchable desire for root beer.    Writing this blog has been like stumbling forward because in the past it was beyond difficult for me to write clearly and concisely. So subsequently, in the past, I would quit when things went awry. A key obstacle many authors face is writing something relevant instead of just talking about it. This, however, is a catch 22 because, although writers need to write, they also need to say something of interest. In my opinion, a good writer draws you into conversation, like the aroma of coffee at Starbucks does me, and leaves you with a warm, satisfied, glad you came by feeling when you are done.   It is my deepest desire and intention that this blog be an encouragement to you, even though certainly I am not Hemingway. Here is my motto I have posted on my blog from day one: Trying to make a difference as I stumble through life. I sincerely hope I have.   Remember that there is no shame in stumbling forward, the bigger shame is in not trying at all.   Swavel

Adverse affects

It has been said, “Most ordinary men avoid adversity, while extraordinary ones turn it to their advantage.”   These four professional football players exhibit this such ability.

Exhibit A- PERSERVERANCE

Last week, during the first NFL game of the season I saw something noteworthy. A lot of things nowadays don’t inspire me, but, ten year veteran tight end, Jason Witten of the Dallas Cowboys did just that.  Despite having just recovered from a lacerated spleen weeks before he suited up to play because he felt it was the right thing to do.

A deep loyalty to his team and a recent visit to a U.S. Navy SEALs base, also seemed to be key contributors to his desire to play.   As motivation, Witten had this Navy SEALs motto taped above his locker:  “I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. ….If knocked down, I will get back up every time. I will draw on every remaining source of strength to help my team and to accomplish our goal. I am never out of the FIGHT."

It’s not hard to admire such a work ethic.  Apparently, Witten was of the mindset that it was more painful to sit and watch, then to push through the discomfort and do what he could to help his team win the game.

Exhibit B- MOVING ON

 Nobody wants to be publicly humiliated, just ask Scott Norwood.  If you follow football, the phrase wide right takes you back to one of the most exciting finishes in Super Bowl history.  It was Super Bowl XXV and all Buffalo Bills’ kicker, Scott Norwood, had to do to beat the New York Giants and become the hero was to make a 47 yard field.  Conversely, when he missed, wide right, all he could do was clutch his helmet and drop his head in agony as the Giants’ players ran past him in celebration.  Before his ill fated attempt, Norwood was an above average field goal kicker.  Just a year later he was out of the NFL, never to return.  He it took it so hard that for years he could barely speak of the missed kick because it hurt too much.

However, a few years ago I read an article in Sports Illustrated where he was finally moving on with his life.  He believed he had learned from it and was now a better man for it.  At the time of the article, ten years ago, he was a real estate broker.  Norwood, from time to time, would even mention his missed kick in an effort to gain a couples ‘sympathy when showing a house. 

He had learned to appreciate the little things in life like his wife, three kids and a happy home in the suburbs. Just like Scott Norwood, we all miss from time to time, but it is truly important that we don’t allow one failure to cause us to miss out on life.  

Exhibit C- LAUGH IT OFF

Several years prior to wide right, Don McNeal suffered a similar fate in Super bowl XVII.  He was the Miami Dolphins’ defensive back who running back John Riggins of the Washington Redskins ran over on his way to scoring the decisive touchdown  of the game. I was in tenth grade at the time and being a huge Dolphins’ fan I still remember the play that turned the game, like it was yesterday. 

It was fourth and one. The Redskins were trailing the Dolphins by just a few points and needed a first down late in the game.  They handed the ball off to running back, John Riggins, who in Washington they referred to as the Diesel.  They play was expertly executed and it was Riggins’ 235 lbs vs. 190 lbs of cornerback Don McNeal at the 43 yard line.  The Dolphins’ cornerback never really stood a chance.  To this day, I still remember poor McNeal valiantly attempting to wrap himself around Riggins.  Then I watched in horror as Riggins shrugged him off like a bad habit galloping his way off into sunset and along with it any real chance for my team to win.

It was widely reported after the game that McNeal’s missed tackle had helped cost the Dolphins the Super Bowl.  Nevertheless, when I read about him a few years ago, I discovered he seemed to have taken the whole thing in stride and even laughs about it now.  In the article he tells of how when the Riggins’  highlight comes on around Super Bowl time that he calls his wife in the room and tells her jokingly that maybe this time he will make the tackle.

McNeal is now a pastor with a winning disposition, that works with the youth of his area. Funny how you can’t change the outcome, but in my opinion, Don McNeal got the last laugh.

Exhibit D- SOMETHING TO PROVE

When I think of Tom Brady, I think of a winner.  Born and bred in California, super model for a wife, three times Super Bowl winner and a guy who seems to have it all going for him.  By the time he retires he will have gone down as one of the best quarterbacks to ever play in the NFL.

However, throughout his entire football career, up until his first Super Bowl win, he has always had to prove himself.  The scouting reports on Brady were that he was too slow, too slight, didn’t throw a tight enough spiral, and that he was not able to do make enough big plays.  He was a bench warmer in high school, college and then in the pros. No matter what he tried he never seemed to get noticed and there always seemed to be somebody better suited at his position standing in his way.

This all seemed to come to a head when it came time for Brady to be drafted in the NFL in 2000.  He was told he might go in the second round, but that came and went.  Eventually, in the sixth round, with the 199^th pick the New England Patriots took  him.  In referring to that day in an interview, Tom Brady, once said how horrible it was to think, “man, maybe no one wants you.”

In turn, that difficulty propelled him forward in his career to work harder and never to give up, no matter what. What perhaps sums up Brady best was when he told the New England Patriots’ owner, Robert Kraft,  that he, Kraft,  had made one of the best decisions he had ever made when he picked Brady. Three Super Bowls later and counting, Tom made his point; don’t think I’m good enough, I’ll prove you wrong.

At one time or another, we all face situations in life when adverse affects us.   However, we must choose whether to punt the ball during these trying times or else keep driving till we score a touchdown.

Swavel

 

Andy Griffith set me up

It's true, Andy Griffith set me up. He made that father-son thing look far too easy. From the opening scene on all of his shows where he and his son were holding fishing rods to that famous whistling tune in the background. Me, on the other hand, I almost had to hand in my dad card on more than one occasion. Here are few examples.

My first attempt at an Andy Griffith moment gone awry happened when my son, Jordan, was about five. It was when I took my son out for a walk at my wife’s grandmother’s house up in the mountains of Pennsylvania.  My intent was to take him to a secluded baseball field, kind of like in the movie, “Field of Dreams”. So off Jordan and I went with a gym bag full of baseballs and a bat, pseudo Andy Griffith, albeit no one was whistling. All went as planned as we played catch and hit a few balls. Then it all went suddenly wrong when I tried to take a shortcut on the way back home.

Long story short, we wondered through the woods for what seemed hours as I got us terribly lost. In the end after my son got sick from drinking too much water at my insistence, we were rescued by a bunch of elderly ladies.  To make matters worse, Florine, the unofficial leader of the group, happened to know my wife’s grandmother personally. The worst part was they drove so slow taking us back I could have walked faster.  My heart was in the right place; however my directional skills had us in the entirely wrong direction.

You would think I would have learned from the previous misadventure, but apparently I did not. I, however subscribe to the try, try again theory. Taking another cue from Andy I decided a few years after the first debacle to take my son fishing, when he was about eight. I doubt however that Andy Griffith ever carried his bait in a Wal-mart bag. As you might expect it didn’t turn out too well.

Despite the assistance of an expert fisherman my line still got caught in the trees and after about 2 to 3 hours of nothing to show for our trouble I took Jordan pizza fishing. My heart was in the right place; however my fishing skills and rod were not.

This brings me to the other night, without going into details, when I unintentionally embarrassed my son, who is now a college student.   I called him late at night when he had stayed out later than I had anticipated.  It was awkward, but my heart told me it was the right thing to do. Every parent worth his weight in salt knows that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach you get when you think your child might be hurt or lost or in peril. You simply do what you must do, despite the embarrassment.

That moment helped me understand a little better what a dad truly is. He cares, even if he has to look dumb in the process.  Ever since my son was born I tried so hard not to embarrass him like my dad, who once embarrassed me when I was a seventh grader playing football.  He pulled me from a game because of a downpour. For many years I never understood why he would embarrass me like that. A few years ago I discovered from my dad that he just was trying to do what he thought was right for me. Heck, nobody can be Andy Griffith and believe me I wasn’t going to be Dan Marino anyway.

So, it is I love my son, maybe not always perfectly like Andy Griffith seemed to on the television screen.  But, in my opinion he set me up because my heart is in the right place, it just doesn’t always look like it.

Swavel