Hmmm

 
A moment in time sometimes can only be captured by your mind’s eye and then held in your soul forever.

Hmmm is that wordless, special moment that you don’t want to mess with, but rather you let it play itself out. There are two kind of hmm moments: the tough kind and the good kind.

The tough kind is like a death in the family or a break up or other such events when a heart is broken.  During those times flippant words can make it worse.  During tough times I hate when I can’t make it better for my family and or friends.   Rather, a hand on the shoulder or a hug is the only thing that can remotely suffice and relay my sympathy.

The good kind of hmmm moment however you don’t want to rush and end before it has entirely unfolded. These moments are just magical with no need to define or explain when the heart is soaring.  For example, it’s like when your kid is born or hits a homerun or gets married.

Speaking of, here are some such moments in time from my son, Jordan and his bride, Miranda’s wedding on Saturday, June 13^th:

* During the ceremony, Steve, a family friend and the officiating pastor said the key word to remember was REPEAT.  When he said it I thought how perfect. Every lasting relationship has elements in it that are familiar. Unfortunately, there are no ancient Chinese secrets to a happy marriage; at least that I am aware of anyway.  When you truly love someone, you love being with them and spending time with them.  In essence, you repeat the act of love every day as you move together and marvel where it takes the both of you.
  
* After the wedding concluded I high fived my son on his way down the aisle to leave the ceremony with his bride. It was just one of those opportunities to let my son know of my approval of his choice.  Some things are best when they are simple and to the point. On a side note, there was a Big Hero 6 moment when I fist-bumped the groomsman who ushered my lovely wife and I out of the ceremony. Fa la la la.

* There were smiles and tears a plenty as Miranda danced with her dad during the reception. It was obvious during their special father-daughter dance how much they loved one another.   Fathers need to show their daughters they approve as well and it was nice to see it so openly on display.

* However, the most definite thumbs up in my soul kind of moment had to be when the groom danced with bride.  Jordan led Miranda around the dance floor arm in arm as he carefully led her and periodically spun her in circles . Marriage is like a good dance because you are partners and you need to stay in step with one another.

The best part of marriage however is what is to come; the wedding is just the beginning of the book.   There are so many more chapters yet to be written.  My advice is to always stay close to God, the author, and let Him pen you a masterpiece.
 

Hmmm should be another way of describing marital bliss, not a sarcastic remark meant to cause harm.

Swavel

 

Lights Out

Simple, yet effective concept in life - finish what you started.

Many years ago, in what seemed another lifetime - I was a church softball coach.  To be accurate I wasn’t particularly good, but I enjoyed doing it for the most part.  No pay, lots of phone calls, plenty of complaints and I always was the last to leave.

One of the things that came with the job was being there early to line and rake the infield and put the bases in the ground.  It was often lonely work, but it was like writing the foreword in a book, something that needed to be done so things get begin.  The job however I remember most fondly was turning the lights off after the game.

The peculiar thing about turning off the lights was that it was a love/hate kind of thing.   On the nights that we lost I hated it, because I just wanted to go home. Consequently I would drive my car out to the shed, which was approximately a few hundred feet from the center field fence, pull the switch, jump back in the car and dejectedly go home.  It was like putting the field to sleep, like you tuck your kids in before they go to sleep, after you had a particularly trying evening.  Love you, sleep good, goodnight and hit the switch.

However on the nights that we won, I loved turning off the lights because it was heaven.  Needless to say, in the early years that wasn’t so frequent.  On those nights I didn’t want to hit the switch and end the party.    On those nights I would walk and not drive to the shed to turn off the lights.  Time didn’t seem to matter because I wanted to bask in the glow and relive the highlights of the game in my mind.  As I would stand out past centerfield and look at the ball field, l felt like a proud father taking it all in and smilingly remembering.  Then I would turn the lights out and beamingly go home.

That reminds me of an inspirational quote entitled The Essence of A New Day.  It goes like this… This is the beginning of a new day.  You have been given this day to use as you will.  You can waste it or use it for good.  What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.  When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good. 

    

For me, lights out is a husband and a father’s privilege, one I have had for some twenty six years now.  It is an opportunity to momentarily evaluate the completed day.  One in which hopefully I haven’t wasted because life is too short; here one moment, gone the next.  So, someone has to turn out the lights, why not me. 

Lights out is that sacred moment when the chapter of today’s book is complete and you must put a bookmark in it till tomorrow

Swavel

Ignore the Dog

 Encouraging bad behavior is akin to allowing a bull to roam free in a china shop...

Here is a fact:  I am not a dog person.  Rather, I would like to be characterized as a dog appreciator because there is something unique a dog can give to their owner.

About two months ago, my family and I got a dog.  His name is Jax.  We found him at an SPCA and after a week of searching other places we decided to get him.  He is a five and half years old, Jug, which is part Jack Russell and part Pug.  Jax is a great dog and that is saying a lot since dogs and I are not usually best of friends.

The main reason our family decided to get a dog is because of our daughters.  We wanted our youngest daughter to learn to connect with dogs, so one day she can get her own seeing-eye dog and get around on her own. Owning a dog also provides an excellent opportunity for our oldest daughter to gain valuable responsibility taking care of him and garner some companionship as well.

The one annoying habit our dog displayed initially was bark uncontrollably when we come home from somewhere.  To remedy the problem, we watched a dog trainer video on you-tube.  His advice was simple - IGNORE THE DOG.  Amazingly, it works like a charm.  Often when I come home, I talk under my breath to remind myself - ignore the dog.

The premise of ignoring the dog works because the animal reacts to us.  If we yell when we get home, he gets excited and responds accordingly.  If we stay calm, he stays calm. What a great lesson from man’s best friend.

Many successful people are known for being at their best when things are at their worst or most stressful. There are many words to describe it: unflappable, irascible, undeterred, regardless, cool as a cucumber, calm and collected. It is almost as if things slow down for some people when things are going crazy all around them.

 

Here are a few examples of those who have ignored the dog and done what needed to be done:

·         Early in his pro basketball career, Michael Jordan’s critics claimed that his jump shot wasn’t good enough. So, in the off season, he took hundreds of shots every day until he became what many now consider one of the greatest basketball players of all time.

·         Throughout her life, Mother Teresa, set out to love the least of these, the little orphans of India.  Regardless of how small and frail her stature was, she didn’t stop until God took her home.

·         Despite being President during the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln persevered till he freed the slaves, despite being hated and eventually assassinated.

·         Then there is Joni Erickson Tada who despite being paralyzed in her late teens did not let her wheel chair keep her down.  With God’s help, over thirty years ago, she established a ministry called, Joni and Friends, which supports and aids the handicapped community worldwide.

The art of remaining calm and confident is one we should all strive to master. Whether it is just training our dog to behave, or doing something of critical or eternal significance.

Ignore the dog or whatever it is that tries to drag you down to its level.

Swavel

Six key Phrases

Most times when it comes to talking – less is more.

Wisdom can be acquired from sources we never thought would teach us a flipping thing. For instance, a stuffed animal belonging to my two daughters, named Mr. Bunny, has taught me a lot over the years.

Several years ago, Mr. .Bunny was created by my now twelve year old daughter, Sianna, at the Build-A-Bear Workshop.  It was there that she put a voice chip in it with six key phrases, mostly terms of affection that are short, but to the point.  Then a few years later in 2012 as a token of friendship, she gave it to her new sister, Lia, when we met her in China.  Since that time, Mr. Bunny has become a mainstay and source of connection.  Now, just about every night when I say goodnight to Lia I ask her to push the stuffed rabbit’s button for a key phrase. 

 So, I thought I would share the six key phrases Mr. Bunny speaks when you press his button.

 I love you-   These are the three most important words we should all speak and show to our loved ones.  This is especially important to kids when they are young, because love is something we all seek.  This is just my opinion, but there are many people who have lost their way because they have felt unloved in life.  However, it is a two way street and even if you are feeling unloved, you can display love and break the cycle.

Give me a hug-   To be physically affirmed for a child is a big deal.  A genuine “I got you” kind of hug speaks volumes. It has been said that during a tragedy often we can’t hear God speaking because He is silently wrapping His arms around us in a comforting embrace.  The thought is that actions speak louder than words because there are times that words just seem useless.  Showing you care seems to be the way to go because it is so much more tangible.

Let’s go home -   Most people want a place they can call home.  Not to mention, almost everyone wants to belong somewhere. Sadly some lose their way in life seeking to belong to a group they shouldn’t, simply because of a desire to be accepted.  Home is that one place that we all should be able to count on going to when the day is over.  Home sweet home is more than a nineteenth century song, it is a place that grants pleasure, security and relief when one returns to it.

I’m so happy, you’re my new best friend-   Another thing that many of us like to do is to make new friends.  The thing about a friend is you must be one to have one.  Better yet, like so many kids, we like to claim we have a best friend.  If you have had more than two or three best friends in your life you should consider yourself lucky, just because best friends are so hard to come by at any age.  Loyal, brave and true is what sums up a best friend and something everyone should have in their life.

Let’s play-  There is just something about play that gets the brain going and the blood flowing the way it should.  Just like the old proverb says, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.  Although, one can’t play all the time, if one can play well with others it is a huge attribute.  Not to mention, it speaks well of his character.  While on the other hand, “doesn’t play well with others “is a moniker we should try to avoid at all costs.

What’s your name? -  A name is important because this is how people identify you and know who you are.   Often how people say your name, first or last, tells you a lot about where you stand or what they think about you.   There was a time when a family name meant something.  It still should and it should be more important than just protecting the brand, which so many people seem obsessed with these days.

The truth be told, we should all seek to be using re-affirming words and actions more often and not leave it up to stuffed rabbits to do the important stuff.

Six key phrases of affection toward the ones we love should just be a warm up exercise for more to come.

Swavel

 

Over Inflation

 

The next big thing is what too many of us are chasing, without anything to show for it.

We live in a world where its’ inhabitants are full of self-absorption, excessiveness and in constant need of stimulation.  This in turn leads to a lot of excessive hype or over inflation.   From radio advertising to TV programs and commercials, to gimmicks online, the list goes on and on.  Everybody, or so it seems, is trying to sell you something that they feel you need now.

So many people it appears love buzz and drama to the point they can hardly bear to be without it.  It’s the kind of hype that sets the stage for an exciting climax.   For example, American Idol loves to say- and the winner is…you’ll find out right after this important break. so don’t go anywhere.

Maybe the problem is us.  Some of us love to hear ourselves talk, and since it sounds so good, therefore it must be true.   We have no facts, just here-say to back up our theories.  But, often in the light of day, hype gets exposed for what it truly is- nonsense.  Hype is a lot like the fog right before the sun rises over a lake, but when the fog lifts we are so sorely disappointed.

Overhyped to me is also when we, like Cleveland Browns’ quarterback, Johnny Manziel, pre-celebrate before we have accomplished a thing.    Too many of us are into feeling good about ourselves before we have finished the job and often find ourselves in trouble for our lack of real production.

In the past few weeks I have run into two prime examples and one timeless example of over inflation.  Allow me to share:

1- The annual National Football League draft.  My biggest problem with the draft, which was held on the weekend of April 30^th, is that it’s like a giant chess game that takes too long. This year I listened to about 10 minutes, which felt like a giant pep rally to me. Years ago, we sports’ junkies just read about the results in the newspaper.  Now, we need months of hype and predictions, which are seldom right, about whether which quarterback is more pro ready or if a wide receiver can fit a certain scheme or not.  In my opinion, the people who follow the draft are like a guy who bets on horses because he has nothing better to do, so as to amuse himself.

2- The Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight.  Promoters were billing the boxing match on May 2^nd, 2015 as the fight of the century.   However, it appears a large part of our country seemed unimpressed with the lackluster bout, which Floyd Mayweather won by decision in twelve rounds.  People even wanted their money back and at least thirty two people filed a class action lawsuit alleging that the losing boxer, Manny Pacquiia, should have disclosed an shoulder injury before the fight.  Strange to me that we can expect compensation for something we have no control over.

3- Then there are the lemmings.  Almost mythical creatures that are small, short tailed rodents found in the Arctic tundra. The misconception surrounding lemmings is that they will follow their leader and jump off a cliff after his example; rather it is a migratory behavior.  This reminds me a lot of the Pied Piper. As most of us know, this is the famous story about children from a small village who followed a flutist wherever the sound lead them.  Sometimes we can be led astray, if we are not discerning, because we can get drawn in by someone else who we are willing to follow.

The point I am trying to make is that all around us people love hype because far too many of us want to feel good.  Not to mention the promise of risk and adventure that often comes with such chatter.  When and if it doesn’t turn out then they change the subject or like an addict look for their fix..  Our lives needn’t be so shallow.

Hype or over inflation can be simply deflated by just being contented that one is alive.

Swavel

 

Stop & Think

Some things in life have questions without tangible answers.

Here are two questions that make we stop and think: 1-What happens when you die?  2- What makes some people hurt others?

First, what happens when you die?  

  

Tricky question to answer in a way. My answer cannot be proven to you beyond a shadow of a visual doubt. All I can tell you is no one can show you all the seen evidence you might want.  This is a matter of faith.  Faith in a unseen God who sent His visible Son, Jesus, down from Heaven to save our very souls.

Some doubt God exists, some doubt Jesus was God in human form, some believe this is a personal matter to be left alone.  While many people believe other various actions will grant them entrance into Heaven. Some just hope that they are doing enough.

The truth is one day we will find out when we meet our Maker, unless you are atheist and then you just fade away.  I bring up this question not to argue, but I believe Jesus is the only answer.  It’s just like He said, I am the way, the truth and the life and In my Father’s house are many mansions, if it were not so I would have told you.  Not to mention the Bible says that Jesus is the same, yesterday, today, and forever and in Him I have guaranteed hope. However, without God in the equation there is always doubt, hopelessness and fear involved.

Second, what makes some people hurt others? 

When I see harm being done from one person to another, it often seems to me to be fueled by anger and uncertainty.  It can be a parent who withholds his love but pours out his anger on his child. There are children who steal and commit crimes citing they were neglected or abused.  Then there are others who are just disgruntled that life has done them wrong as they lash out almost randomly at whoever annoys them.  The list goes on and on, often turning them into victims and paralyzing them emotionally while inciting their anger at others.

 

In all our lives, we have either been hurt or else harmed someone ruthlessly. It has been said that hate is just frustrated love.  Often we hurt others just because we don’t like something about them or they remind of us someone who irritates us or who even knows why.  Many times I think people are just too busy thinking about today to worry about other people’s feelings.

Again, I have no 100% answer to this problem, but God solved hate by giving and forgiving.  Easter and Christmas emphasize His intentions wholeheartedly. Thankfully, God showed us love, not the hate we often show those we get fed up with from time to time.

Stop and think about this: what happens next is already a certainty with God. 

Swavel