I'm Done

Recently I sat down with the author of this blog and asked some hard questions.

What qualifies you to write this blog?
I am someone who learns from my mistakes and therefore can offer expert advice on how to stumble through life and try to get it right in the process. I try to share some of the hope, encouragement, and wisdom I have learned as I've experienced life's ups and downs.

Have you ever tried to get a book published?
Yes and I failed miserably. However, I did learn a valuable lesson. In 2007 when I sent out queries, I received over thirty rejection notices before I gave up counting. Sometime after that I just started to write for myself, while occasionally allowing friends and family to see my ponderings. My writing did need work and I have learned much from failure. I agree with Samuel Beckett when he said, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

Have you ever had anything published on any level?
Yes. I have been published three times in the Upper Room devotional, briefly wrote for a local newspaper and contributed to the book SIMPLE LITTLE WORDS. My family's story was included in David Jeremiah’s book, BEND IN THE ROAD.

What do you love/hate most about writing?
Editing. It is a necessary evil that I have grown to appreciate over time. My wife edits my blogs and does an excellent job of cleaning up my writing and making it easier for you to understand. For me, it is easier just to write what I am thinking, but I now realize writing is about connecting with others and not just doing what feels good.

Can you offer any advice on how to figure life out?
No, I’m done attempting to chase the wind. Nevertheless, I do attempt to offer honest advice that I’ve learned from some of the darkest days a man can face. Hopefully my pain can be your gain.

What was the first car you bought?
A light blue 1975 Dodge Dart. Ugly as sin, fairly dependable, lasted forever. It helped me discover my wife was the one for me, because she definitely was not dating me for my car. The only people who liked it were the neighbor boys who were about five at the time.

What is your favorite role in life?
That’s easy, husband and father. Although you will have to ask my family how I am doing, I so enjoy having a daily opportunity to be close to the people I love. It is the most important job I will ever have and is something I don’t take for granted.

On a personal note have you ever done anything society would consider crazy?
OK, here it is, I am going to lay it all out. God is asking my wife and me to do something crazy. God is asking us to adopt again and I am all in. I believe if God calls you to do something outside your comfort zone He will provide the resources, it is just our job to follow. At this point, we are just being obedient and where it ends up is yet to be seen. When it comes to adoption, I believe, if you have love you better give it. There’s no need to save it, you won’t run out.

Have you ever not given your all?
Yes. I’m not proud of it, but I have been guilty in the past. To be entirely honest, I thought I would have quit this blog by now, because when things get tough sometimes I give up. Now, I seek to work through the hard and not be controlled by what I feel.

Define yourself in two words?
Inconsistent persistence.

Do you have anything more to add?
No, I’m done.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Swavel

Never More Proud

I am a part of a very special and proud fraternity, I am a father. The following are some very special memories I have shared with my children over the years.

In the early morning of March 21st, 1991, my newborn son was gently handed to me. The world slowed momentarily as I got acquainted with my son. Another memory comes to mind when he gave the salutatorian speech last year at his graduation. Never have I been more proud of him.

On the afternoon of April 24th, 1993, when my first daughter was born, I inherited a rich man's family . The last night I shared with my daughter before she changed her address to heaven, she unselfishly bought crackers and chips for some of her friends with her own birthday money. Never have I been more proud of her.

It was the afternoon of June 2nd, 2003, when my third child (second daughter) was handed to my wife and I in Nanjing, China. It was a day my heart smiled. Now at the age of seven, my daughter insists on reading her bedtime stories to me every night. Never have I been more proud of her.

My children have made me proud from the moment I set my eyes on them. Perhaps this thought from Elizabeth Stone best sums it up, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

Swavel

Let’s play catch

Have you ever seen the baseball movie, “Field of Dreams?” The whole movie revolves around the son’s attempt to get one more chance to spend time with his father. Who can forget the image of the son and his dad playing catch at the very end of the movie as the credits begin to roll? That got me to thinking.

One of my fondest memories growing up was when my dad took the time to play catch with me. When the mood would strike I would wander into the basement, where dad was often working on his car, with my baseball glove and ball and ask if he had time to play catch. He would often hesitate, then give in and say, 'okay, if you get my glove we can throw for a few minutes.' We didn’t say much, but it always made me feel better after we were done. Always.

Since I have become a dad I have done the same with my son, first when he was playing baseball and now softball. For some reason, it seems to give us both a strange sense of satisfaction as we see how far and hard we can throw to each other. Kind of like a challenge, a man’s way of passing a test, but at the same time no one is keeping record. Now, I understand a lot better why my dad took the time. There is nothing like just sharing a moment, just him and I.

Some of the best times you will ever have with your child is when you are just 'being' together. It doesn't need to be a game of catch, perhaps just something you both enjoy. "A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove. But the world may be different, because I was important in the life of a 'child'." (Forest Witcraft)

Swavel

Your turn: What is your most favorite childhood memory?

Defining Moments

Our lives are defined by moments. Just two weeks ago, I had an awkward one when I landed on my knee trying to reach first base in a softball game. Then a week later, I had a painful moment when I discovered my injured knee was actually a ruptured quadricep muscle and would require surgery. This now becomes a trying moment full of choices and opportunities, like seeing my daughter in the morning, hearing the birds sing all day long, and writing whenever the mood strikes.

In a paragraph, I'm a 42-year-old guy who has been married for 21 years to the only girl I ever dated. The father of a college age son and two daughters; one who's address was changed to heaven 10 years ago (at the age of 7) and one who was born in China.

Here is some other pertinent stuff about me. In the past 25 years, I have had several jobs, some including: exterminator, upholsterer, limo driver, janitor, and courier. I have also written devotionals and contributed to a book. I usually enjoy playing softball, but since I'll be spending this softball season on my posterior, a friend suggested I start a blog.

Hope you come by often and 'perhaps' share in some old and new moments to come.

Swavel