Matter of Trust

God can. I can’t. God’s willing. I’m hesitant.

The above statement was a self-assessment I made about a month ago, not one I'm proud of, but I believe can have a happy ending .

Allow me to elaborate on the word, trust, which happens to be synonomous with the words rest assured, full confidence, and rely completely. So, here is the way God works with trust, if we don’t trust in Him 100% then we don’t trust him at all because he who hesitates is lost. With that thought in mind, there was a time when I was under the false impression that I completely trusted in God.

On April 29th, 2000, that guise disappeared when I received the news that my entire family had been in a car accident and that all 3 members of my family were being taken to 3 separate hospitals. .

As I was riding to my wife’s hospital, I started quoting Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” It was always so easy to quote before, but now it had become difficult to live. Later that night at my daughter’s bedside where she lay in a coma, God and I had it out. I told God to take me instead of my daughter or if he had to take her I needed a purpose for all this. All I heard in response was, “Do you trust me, Aaron? Do you trust me?’’

You see God has never changed, just my perception of Him. Throughout history many who followed God suffered, were persecuted, and some were martyred. My perception was if I did want God wanted, things would always work out for me. So when I got frustrated with God, it was my problem not God’s. He never hid the fact that there would be times when things would not go my way and there would be no explanation, just God asking me to trust Him.

Lately, I have been talking with God and this is what I have heard, “I will not fully invest in you, until you fully invest me.” God does what He wants, well He’s God. If I want to be aboard furthering His Kingdom, it’s His way or the highway. What I’m trying to do now is to get involved in what God wants me to do and then I can rest assured that I can trust Him. Anything else is just an epic failure waiting to happen.

I don’t have to trust Him, He doesn’t force me, but if I don’t it’s my loss because complete trust in God is a prerequisite. I agree with C. S. Lewis in the Chronicles of Narnia when he spoke of the God type character, Aslan, the Lion, “He's not safe, but He's good.”

So, as a matter of trust, I would like to alter my thought of a month ago. God can. I can't. God's willing. I'm with Him.

Swavel

The Reset Factor

In the early eighties, when the Atari game system was all the rage, a high school friend and I would do battle in the tank game. All would be fine unless I got too far ahead, then suddenly the screen would go blank. My friend had hit the reset button. In recent years, another friend suggested I hit the reset button whenever my day would become too overwhelming. When you choose to reset you give yourself a clean slate and an opportunity to succeed.

Tolstoy once wisely said, “Everyone wants to change the world, but no one wants to change himself.” When you choose to keep your attitude the same, your actions will remain the same. The secret is to take the negative and turn it into a positive. Here are some examples from my own life.

It was sometime in 2005, when as an exterminator my wife called me to alert me of an unexpected large dental bill for my youngest daughter. I was frustrated, so I pulled into a convenience store to grab a cup of coffee and regroup. Then, I saw her. There she was a little girl, around the age of ten in a wheelchair. She was sitting at the bus stop smiling while she waited to be picked up. Immediately my anger was replaced with shame when I realized how foolish I had been. If this young girl could accept the circumstances in her life then I just needed to take a deep breath, reset my attitude and move on.

When I was young, around five or so, I had an annoying habit of speaking too quickly which caused my words to be slurred. For years, people believed my name was Andrew not Aaron Drew because of my sloppy speech habits as I threw the two names together. Then in second grade, I had to go to speech therapy classes with a wonderfully kind elderly gentleman named, Mr. Marconi. He taught me to slow down, take a deep breath and then pronounce my words clearly. It was an amazing transformation because I choose to reset and change my bad habits.

Choices; we make them every day and they shape us. Regardless of our situation or circumstances we make decisions. How you survive is based on you. Over 200 years ago, Samuel Johnson said, “Things don’t go wrong so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.”

Swavel