No Mere Words

Someone once commissioned me to explain the differing emotions families experience when involved in ‘the gift of life’ (organ donation). How do you properly capture the sentiment of such a powerfully emotional event? The deep agony and heartache endured by one family and yet, on the other side there must be joy and elation, mixed with some apprehension. For years, I have tried to sum it up without success because there simply are no mere words in the modern dictionary to sum it up. But, because I am a parent of a donor, here is my best attempt.

Easter best sums it up. Imagine on Good Friday, two thousand years ago, how God the Father must have felt when He looked down at His Son, Jesus, being tortured, beaten, and mistreated, just so we could have a relationship with Him. The Father signed off on His Son so all the Universe could have the gift of eternal life. It was so painful God the Father turned away. It is my belief God choose to do what had to be done, regardless of how much it would cost, knowing that some would reject his gift, He did it anyway, even though we did nothing to be worthy of such a gift.

If you have the ability to save a life within your grasp or increase the quality of someone’s life, you should do it. Take the opportunity to give in such a way that you cannot be thanked, like the God the Father gave us through Jesus on Good Friday. Give where there are no mere words to thank you, just simply because if you were the parent of a child who needed that organ you would want someone to do the same for you. As I write this, it still hurts when I think of the pain it caused my family and I to give, but I take some comfort now in the fact that another family did not have to mourn that day because of my daughter’s precious gift. To this day, I still marvel at the strength my wife displayed in honoring my decision despite the pain it personally caused her.

Actually, what drove me most to allow my daughter to be donor was she loved to give and I believed she needed to leave with dignity doing something she loved. I had chosen to be an organ donor on my driver’s license for years before the accident and believed so much in it that if it was good enough for me it was good enough to allow my daughter to do the same.

The gift of life, for me, at least ultimately, is all about getting an opportunity to help another human being, although there is no guarantee that the organs will even take. So, we need not lose heart if the recipient’s body rejects the organs. Life is messy and doesn’t always work the way we would like. As a donor’s parent I don’t want to put undue pressure on those who receive organs that can be an overbearing weight. I never met my daughter’s recipients, in part, because they have the right to live their life without pressure from me.

One day I hope to find the words to express my sincere thanks when I see my Savior face to face. Maybe I will have no mere words, but at least I can simply mouth a thank you. Until that day, I hope to live my life in such a way to show my eternal gratitude for what the God of the Universe did for me and all of us that remarkable weekend so many years ago.

“God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” ~ Voltaire

Swavel

No Excuse

There was a time in my life when I was an avid excuse maker. Now, I tend to become easily frustrated when others do the same. In the past month, I have scratched my head as I watched oil spill into the Gulf and wondered to myself, "why doesn't someone do something?" I have grown weary of men in high places making excuses instead of someone just taking responsibility and finding a solution.

This got me to thinking about our society in general, it seems to me we tend to be blame shifters. I speak from experience because as I said before, I used to be a full-fledged member. Too often when something goes wrong or someone is in need you hear, "it's not my problem, let somebody else deal with it." The spill in the Gulf reminded me of a day when I did something instead of just standing around watching the world go by.

One morning, during my bugkilling days, I was servicing a small grocery store when an opportunity presented itself. There was a little boy who wanted some milk, but had no money. Then, I overheard the clerk tell him that he couldn't help, so I asked if I could pay for it. The clerk advised against it, seeing how the child's parents were careless with their money. While I understood his position, I couldn't justify refusing the child milk. So, despite the man's suggestion I paid for the milk because it just seemed like the right thing to do. It was good to see the little boy leave with a smile and a jug of milk under his arm. I didn't solve all his problems, but for once he didn't hear, "I'm sorry, I can't help you." Instead, he saw a solution. Lame excuses don't make the cereal float in your bowl.

Obviously you or I can't fix the oil spill in the Gulf, but perhaps we can learn from it. Wouldn't we all be better off if we all spent more time applying what Elbert Hubbard once suggested, "don't make excuses, make good."

Swavel