Someone once commissioned me to explain the differing emotions families experience when involved in ‘the gift of life’ (organ donation). How do you properly capture the sentiment of such a powerfully emotional event? The deep agony and heartache endured by one family and yet, on the other side there must be joy and elation, mixed with some apprehension. For years, I have tried to sum it up without success because there simply are no mere words in the modern dictionary to sum it up. But, because I am a parent of a donor, here is my best attempt.
Easter best sums it up. Imagine on Good Friday, two thousand years ago, how God the Father must have felt when He looked down at His Son, Jesus, being tortured, beaten, and mistreated, just so we could have a relationship with Him. The Father signed off on His Son so all the Universe could have the gift of eternal life. It was so painful God the Father turned away. It is my belief God choose to do what had to be done, regardless of how much it would cost, knowing that some would reject his gift, He did it anyway, even though we did nothing to be worthy of such a gift.
If you have the ability to save a life within your grasp or increase the quality of someone’s life, you should do it. Take the opportunity to give in such a way that you cannot be thanked, like the God the Father gave us through Jesus on Good Friday. Give where there are no mere words to thank you, just simply because if you were the parent of a child who needed that organ you would want someone to do the same for you. As I write this, it still hurts when I think of the pain it caused my family and I to give, but I take some comfort now in the fact that another family did not have to mourn that day because of my daughter’s precious gift. To this day, I still marvel at the strength my wife displayed in honoring my decision despite the pain it personally caused her.
Actually, what drove me most to allow my daughter to be donor was she loved to give and I believed she needed to leave with dignity doing something she loved. I had chosen to be an organ donor on my driver’s license for years before the accident and believed so much in it that if it was good enough for me it was good enough to allow my daughter to do the same.
The gift of life, for me, at least ultimately, is all about getting an opportunity to help another human being, although there is no guarantee that the organs will even take. So, we need not lose heart if the recipient’s body rejects the organs. Life is messy and doesn’t always work the way we would like. As a donor’s parent I don’t want to put undue pressure on those who receive organs that can be an overbearing weight. I never met my daughter’s recipients, in part, because they have the right to live their life without pressure from me.
One day I hope to find the words to express my sincere thanks when I see my Savior face to face. Maybe I will have no mere words, but at least I can simply mouth a thank you. Until that day, I hope to live my life in such a way to show my eternal gratitude for what the God of the Universe did for me and all of us that remarkable weekend so many years ago.
“God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” ~ Voltaire
Swavel
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Courage Defined
Courage can best be summed up in six words: Make a statement, take a stand. To find courage I believe it is important to imitate it and who better to replicate than former British Prime Minister, Sir Winston Churchill.
He was born in 1874 and died in 1965 leaving behind him a legacy of famous quotes that few have equaled. From his trademark hat, bow-tie, and ever-present cigar there was just something about Churchill you had to respect. No one could deliver a speech like Churchill.
Though up until World War II, public opinion had labeled him as one who lacked judgment, stability, and many found him to be untrustworthy. All that would change when Adolf Hitler and the German Nazis came knocking on Great Britain’s doorstep. History has recorded that Churchill and Great Britain not only survived but flourished, in large thanks to his ability to rally the troops and nation.
In my personal opinion, here are the words that best sum him up taken from a speech he made in 1941:
“Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
We all experience discouragement from time to time. For me personally, I had a long period of depression to the point of despair, where life had gotten the best of me and it appeared I had quit trying. But, when I finally took my eyes off the ground and started to look up I realized I was focusing too much on the pain. In an effort to regain my courage, I gave up feeling sorry for myself and stopped thinking about myself. Courage demands we think about others first, put on a brave face and make a stand regardless of how we bad we feel or how bad the situation looks. So now I have adopted a new philosophy: Pain, like evil, must never triumph.
“It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.” ~Winston Churchill
Swavel
He was born in 1874 and died in 1965 leaving behind him a legacy of famous quotes that few have equaled. From his trademark hat, bow-tie, and ever-present cigar there was just something about Churchill you had to respect. No one could deliver a speech like Churchill.
Though up until World War II, public opinion had labeled him as one who lacked judgment, stability, and many found him to be untrustworthy. All that would change when Adolf Hitler and the German Nazis came knocking on Great Britain’s doorstep. History has recorded that Churchill and Great Britain not only survived but flourished, in large thanks to his ability to rally the troops and nation.
In my personal opinion, here are the words that best sum him up taken from a speech he made in 1941:
“Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
We all experience discouragement from time to time. For me personally, I had a long period of depression to the point of despair, where life had gotten the best of me and it appeared I had quit trying. But, when I finally took my eyes off the ground and started to look up I realized I was focusing too much on the pain. In an effort to regain my courage, I gave up feeling sorry for myself and stopped thinking about myself. Courage demands we think about others first, put on a brave face and make a stand regardless of how we bad we feel or how bad the situation looks. So now I have adopted a new philosophy: Pain, like evil, must never triumph.
“It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.” ~Winston Churchill
Swavel
Monday, June 7, 2010
What 'Perhaps' Is...
Perhaps you are wondering where I am going with this blog. Here it is. This blog is an attempt to encourage you to make a change for the better. Look at perhaps as a positive maybe. Instead of allowing life to make you bitter and frustrated, choose to make the world a better place because you are here.
Have you ever had a moment when you didn’t know if you could go on? I have. In the early morning of May 4th, 2000, my daughter had just passed away and I was beyond sorrow. The world as I had known it no longer existed and I was devastated. Yet, in my darkest hour came a small glimmer of hope. After she had passed, the nurse came to me and hidden in the palm of her hand was my daughter’s tooth, the one I had been trying to pull for weeks with no success.
In my worst moment, I had received the most precious gift in the world. The pain wasn’t taken away, but in that instant I was given a push in the right direction on how I should handle the rest of my life. There would still be many difficult hurdles to overcome and choices to make. Perhaps the best decision would be to live my life in such a way as to honor my daughter’s life and memory. The alternative was not a viable option. So, everyday when I try to wake up with a ‘perhaps’ type of attitude I put myself in a position to succeed.
Perhaps, the difficulty isn't really the problem, but rather how we approach the difficulty.
Swavel
Man vs. quad: On the road to recovery as I exercise my quad.
Have you ever had a moment when you didn’t know if you could go on? I have. In the early morning of May 4th, 2000, my daughter had just passed away and I was beyond sorrow. The world as I had known it no longer existed and I was devastated. Yet, in my darkest hour came a small glimmer of hope. After she had passed, the nurse came to me and hidden in the palm of her hand was my daughter’s tooth, the one I had been trying to pull for weeks with no success.
In my worst moment, I had received the most precious gift in the world. The pain wasn’t taken away, but in that instant I was given a push in the right direction on how I should handle the rest of my life. There would still be many difficult hurdles to overcome and choices to make. Perhaps the best decision would be to live my life in such a way as to honor my daughter’s life and memory. The alternative was not a viable option. So, everyday when I try to wake up with a ‘perhaps’ type of attitude I put myself in a position to succeed.
Perhaps, the difficulty isn't really the problem, but rather how we approach the difficulty.
Swavel
Man vs. quad: On the road to recovery as I exercise my quad.
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