This week is particularly bittersweet because it marks what would be my daughter, Alisha’s, 18th birthday. Although, she is not here, I have discovered it is best to choose to be happy for her where she now resides. Read further and you’ll see what I mean.
As any father can attest, the idea of your daughter’s wedding is tremendously bittersweet. Alisha’s day had arrived. She had given her heart to another man and it wasn’t long after he asked her to stay with him forever.
She was too young, I thought, along with so many other reasons why she was not ready. Truthfully, I was the one who was unprepared for the changes about to take place. It was undeniably painful, but I couldn’t let my feelings get in the way for this was the beginning of something beautiful for her.
There are so many moments I would miss and countless memories to cherish. Gone were the days when she would greet me, as I would come home from work. I could picture those mischievous blue eyes and her untamed tawny-brown hair, tousled from yet another day of child’s play. I would miss our spontaneous car ride conversations, our evening walks, and the nights I would gently hug her until she drifted off to sleep. These simple pleasures of everyday life had become memories all too soon. It wasn’t about me however, I had to think of her, her and the groom.
Accepting my relationship with my daughter would change was heart wrenching, but I took comfort in these special memories. Hesitant as I was to relinquish my position as the man in her life, I knew it was right and was willing. Every detail of the day is etched into my mind permanently and indelibly as if it were cut into stone.
In a quiet moment before the ceremony, she looked especially beautiful to me as I glanced down at her and summoned the courage to give her away. In that quiet time, I shared my heart with her, some secrets only a father can share with his princess.
The wedding was about to begin. Alisha was ready and as her Dad, I had to rise to the occasion. I managed to share a story and a song just for her, although it wasn’t a perfect performance. Tears were mingled with the words, but I knew she loved it just as it was. So, with tears streaming down my cheeks, I kissed her and simply said, "I love you, Alisha", as I gave her hand to the awaiting groom.
After the ceremony, I caught a glimpse of my daughter and the groom, with so many around them waiting to celebrate. She looked my way and waved to me as my little girl always did when she would ride on the train at the mall, with each pass. It was a rare glimpse of heaven.
Before the day was over, I was congratulated and comforted by the guests present for the wedding. I was preparing to leave when a gift was handed to me by one of her attendants. It was from my daughter. She had selected something special for me, from her heart to mine. The flood of emotions I thought I had restrained with such poise on this special day were now uncontrollable. She was now and would forever be my little girl.
As I revisit the events of the day, the bride was absolutely radiant as she had always dreamed she would be on her special day and the groom, he was impeccable. He loved her unconditionally and he would cherish her like no other could. Alisha’s groom gave her everything she could ever hope for; He gave her eternal life. My little girl was just seven years old the day I gave her hand to Jesus.
Showing posts with label song. Show all posts
Showing posts with label song. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
In Search Of
Music has a magical way of transporting us back in time.
For instance, at work I have a cassette tape of an old U2 song that always brings back good memories. When I hear the song “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for,” I am taken back to a summer night in 1988. I was in Baltimore to watch an Orioles’ game against the Texas Rangers with my then girlfriend (now wife) and brother. The game was awful and both teams were changing pitchers like there was no tomorrow.
It had become so bad that the highlight of the game was when a cat had run onto the field. Soon after, one of the teams was making a pitching change and as the discouraged pitcher left the game with his head down you could hear U2 appropriately singing over the P.A. system, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” No sooner did those words fill the air than a disgruntled fan stood up and appropriately yelled, “put the cat in.” I imagine it couldn't have done any worse.
This reminds me of another summer night in 1999. I was pitching for the men’s church softball team and I couldn’t find the plate. I, however, was not in jeopardy of being yanked, simply because we had no one else, but I almost committed a bigger blunder. In between one of the innings, I was greeted by my then six year old daughter who wanted to cheer up her dad. In her hand she had a bag of red Swedish fish and on her face a big smile, “Daddy would you like some fish?” In my frustration I said, “no” because I wanted to be left alone and then she started to cry.
I am not an overtly intelligent man, but every father knows that when your daughter cries you should listen and remedy the situation. So, of course, I told her I had changed my mind and those fish sure sounded good. Her tears suddenly dried up and a smile appeared as I popped those fish into my mouth. Strange, I can’t remember the outcome of the game or if my pitching even improved, because the next spring as I mentioned before my daughter passed away. The lesson I learned that summer night is that people are always more important than how you feel. On that evening, I didn’t find what I was looking for, instead I found something better.
“You can find whatever you're looking for, so decide what you're looking for.” ~ Seth Eisenberg
Swavel
For instance, at work I have a cassette tape of an old U2 song that always brings back good memories. When I hear the song “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for,” I am taken back to a summer night in 1988. I was in Baltimore to watch an Orioles’ game against the Texas Rangers with my then girlfriend (now wife) and brother. The game was awful and both teams were changing pitchers like there was no tomorrow.
It had become so bad that the highlight of the game was when a cat had run onto the field. Soon after, one of the teams was making a pitching change and as the discouraged pitcher left the game with his head down you could hear U2 appropriately singing over the P.A. system, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” No sooner did those words fill the air than a disgruntled fan stood up and appropriately yelled, “put the cat in.” I imagine it couldn't have done any worse.
This reminds me of another summer night in 1999. I was pitching for the men’s church softball team and I couldn’t find the plate. I, however, was not in jeopardy of being yanked, simply because we had no one else, but I almost committed a bigger blunder. In between one of the innings, I was greeted by my then six year old daughter who wanted to cheer up her dad. In her hand she had a bag of red Swedish fish and on her face a big smile, “Daddy would you like some fish?” In my frustration I said, “no” because I wanted to be left alone and then she started to cry.
I am not an overtly intelligent man, but every father knows that when your daughter cries you should listen and remedy the situation. So, of course, I told her I had changed my mind and those fish sure sounded good. Her tears suddenly dried up and a smile appeared as I popped those fish into my mouth. Strange, I can’t remember the outcome of the game or if my pitching even improved, because the next spring as I mentioned before my daughter passed away. The lesson I learned that summer night is that people are always more important than how you feel. On that evening, I didn’t find what I was looking for, instead I found something better.
“You can find whatever you're looking for, so decide what you're looking for.” ~ Seth Eisenberg
Swavel
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I Know
This is an article I wrote in 2008 while attempting to win a boat cruise for my wife.
“I KNOW” ever since our first date on July 1st, 1985, I haven’t wanted to be without my wife, Amy. She is the only girl I ever dated and someone who saw something special in me, when I couldn’t.
“I KNOW” one of the best moments in my life was watching Amy come down the aisle twenty years ago on March 24th, 1989. If I had not married her, I am certain the girl I did marry would have lived in her shadow.
“I KNOW” I have never been more proud then when my wife made me a father twice. Fatherhood has a certain way of validating a man.
“I KNOW” there is nothing worse than losing a child, as my wife and I can attest. On May 4th, 2000, my seven-year-old daughter went to be with Jesus five days after being in a car accident.
“I KNOW” it could have been much worse because my wife and then nine-year-old son were also in the accident and both survived. It is true God never gives us more than He can handle.
“I KNOW” at one time the number of couples who get divorced after they lose a child was said to be as high as 80%. My wife and I are more concerned with staying true to our vows, so we will not add to this statistic.
“I KNOW” we adopted our now six-year-old daughter because we had more love to give. Adoption, in my opinion, is the perfect picture of how God loved us so much He made us it possible for us to be adopted as His kids.
“I KNOW” I was reminded of how precious life can be when Amy’s appendix ruptured last year. Every morning when I say goodbye, before I leave for work, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have her for another day.
“I KNOW” from personal experience how a song can so deeply help to heal your broken heart. Mercy Me’s song, “I Can Only Imagine” comforts us with the knowledge one day we will join our daughter in Heaven.
“I KNOW” I am a better person for having married Amy because she is someone who everyday challenges me to be a better person.
“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” Amy Grant
Swavel
“I KNOW” ever since our first date on July 1st, 1985, I haven’t wanted to be without my wife, Amy. She is the only girl I ever dated and someone who saw something special in me, when I couldn’t.
“I KNOW” one of the best moments in my life was watching Amy come down the aisle twenty years ago on March 24th, 1989. If I had not married her, I am certain the girl I did marry would have lived in her shadow.
“I KNOW” I have never been more proud then when my wife made me a father twice. Fatherhood has a certain way of validating a man.
“I KNOW” there is nothing worse than losing a child, as my wife and I can attest. On May 4th, 2000, my seven-year-old daughter went to be with Jesus five days after being in a car accident.
“I KNOW” it could have been much worse because my wife and then nine-year-old son were also in the accident and both survived. It is true God never gives us more than He can handle.
“I KNOW” at one time the number of couples who get divorced after they lose a child was said to be as high as 80%. My wife and I are more concerned with staying true to our vows, so we will not add to this statistic.
“I KNOW” we adopted our now six-year-old daughter because we had more love to give. Adoption, in my opinion, is the perfect picture of how God loved us so much He made us it possible for us to be adopted as His kids.
“I KNOW” I was reminded of how precious life can be when Amy’s appendix ruptured last year. Every morning when I say goodbye, before I leave for work, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have her for another day.
“I KNOW” from personal experience how a song can so deeply help to heal your broken heart. Mercy Me’s song, “I Can Only Imagine” comforts us with the knowledge one day we will join our daughter in Heaven.
“I KNOW” I am a better person for having married Amy because she is someone who everyday challenges me to be a better person.
“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” Amy Grant
Swavel
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