Once, when...

 

 

To relive the past for a brief moment is fine, but to remain there can only damage the present.

Sometimes, the past is best left there, only to be dialed up when needed.

A month or so ago, I went back to my old Junior High School for a parent-teacher conference.  It was for my daughter who is now in eighth grade.  That got me to thinking.

*Once, when I was in the eighth grade, I felt like a loser.  Often, it just seemed like the other kids were smarter, better looking and far cooler.  Now, I hardly remember their names, feel sorry for them when I hear of some of their plights, and could care less of what they once thought of me.

*Once, when I was far younger, I used to play flag football on Thanksgiving morning, running around like a lunatic in the cold and mud.  Now, on Thanksgiving mornings I sit inside in my warm living room and watch the National Dog Show with my family and try not to nod off.

*Once, when my two eldest children were very young, I remember them fondly sitting around the Thanksgiving dinner table.   Now, I enjoy sharing turkey as well with my two younger daughters, realizing times change and to enjoy now as well.  Youth is fleeting; love endures forever. 

*Once, when I needed to find employment fourteen years ago, I became an exterminator for about five years and then left it.  Now, I am back to killing bugs again, kind of feeling like Marty Mc Fly in BACK TO THE FUTURE, but feeling very grateful for a job.

*Once, when I was in high school, I thought cool Nike canvas sneakers, like everyone else had, would save me from being a nerd.  Sadly, although my sneakers were sort of cool, the rest of me still happened to be a nerd.

The truth is that yesterday is history, it happened good or bad. So, take what you can from yesterday and keep moving forward finding out what new and exciting discoveries now can offer.  

Once, when....always gives way to what is; the question is will we go with it?

Swavel

Let Go

 

Though much is taken, much remains- Ulysses 

There are just some things that you don’t outgrow, like that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach.  

A few weeks ago, I was told that I was being let go at work.  I had known it could happen, but like so many of us, I just hoped it wouldn’t happen.  In my case, it was just a business decision to cut costs, nothing personal. However, when I was told my services were no longer needed I got that terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. 

Funny thing is that I thought I would feel nothing but mere elation to know the bumpy ride was over.  However, instead I felt melancholy, like I was no longer wanted or needed.  Emotions are a strange thing, try as you might, they cannot be controlled.

You can say or sing, like Elsa from Frozen, LET IT GO, but in reality it isn’t that easy.  However, facing uncertainty is a part of life.  Feelings fade and one must take a deep breath and keep moving forward, despite the hurt and uncertainty. 

Another way to counteract adversity is to sail your ship in positivity.  Which happens to be a favorite quote of mine taken from the movie, Alexander’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day.  This also happens to remind me of the last birthday card my grandfather bought for me on my thirteenth birthday, weeks before he died.  Strangely enough, on the front of the card it had a picture of fishing boats leaving a harbor. 

The encouragement that I take from that card and phrase is that despite the difficult weather I must leave the dock and venture out into the unknown. 

To let go and move forward is always the better option than to stand pat and remain bitter.

Swavel

More Red

God, for whatever glorious reason, made some leaves red to keep our view from becoming mundane.

Every autumn the leaves change color.  But, lately I have found myself looking in particular for red leaves to make my fall complete.

Things that remind me of the color of red….

*    Red words in the Bible are the ones that Jesus spoke.  If ever in doubt and feeling lost, just read the red words in the Bible because anything that Jesus spoke carries the weight of eternal significance.

*  For years and to this day, I keep a red pen or marker on me as much as possible.  At first it was to remind me to pray for Lia when we only had faith that she would be a part of our family.  Now, it is just a habit, yet it still is a reminder that God keeps his promises.

*  Seeing red is a phrase that means you have allowed the emotion of anger to overtake and control you.  Often, in such a state, people cannot help but respond rashly and without mercy.  Lately, I have felt this way, with a personal situation I could not control, however getting angry in my book never solved any problem long term.

*  My fantasy football quarterback, and Cincinnati Bengal, Andy Dalton, has red hair.  This is a guy that people seemingly love to hate, because he has never won a playoff game.  However, he just keeps winning football games. The last I checked his team is still undefeated this year.

*  My son, and one of my daughter’s, favorite colors is red, as well as my favorite daughter-in -law.  My son, while he was young, once said that the reason that red was his favorite was that it was the color of Jesus’ blood. It doesn’t get more profound than that.

My point is that whatever color you like to look for, at least look for something bright.

May we live our lives in red, not in anger, but rather like the leaves that leave behind a sense of awe and wonder? 

Swavel

 

Rainy Walk

Eddie Rabbit certainly loved a rainy night, but I think a rainy walk is far better for the soul.

Long walks have a way of relieving my tension.

About fifteen years ago, I had a two week period of where my family and I were going through some personal turmoil.  Every day I would take a walk and every day during that period I felt God met me on that walk.  He gave me comfort and strength that only He could give to face another uncertain day.  There is also something about the rain that helps me forget about everything else swirling in my life and helps me regain focus.

That was most definitely the case a few weeks ago, in early October, when I needed to take the company vehicle in for an oil change. It was raining, chilly and ugly out and I just felt this deep need to walk anyway. 

The reason I decided to go for a mile walk after I dropped off the vehicle was to get a dollar coffee from a convenience store.  I knew despite having an umbrella that I would get my feet and possibly more, because of the shifting wind.  There was no one else even out on the sidewalks, at least where there were sidewalks in this rural area, and there was grassy slopes in some spots. This mile or so walk gave me lots of time to think and lots of things to observe and learn from everywhere I turned.

Alongside the road in the grass, this is what I found discarded:

1-Perrier bottle   2-Dunkin Donuts coffee cup 3-McDonald’s hamburger wrapper 4-Lottery ticket 5-DO NOT TURN sign.

What do all five of these items represent?  Here is my best response to that question:

1-Perrier bottle -Someone with an expensive taste for water, who was too lazy to dispose of his or her expensive bottle properly.  Possibly, they felt entitled to throw the trash wherever they wanted.

2-Dunkin Donuts coffee cup- There always seems to be a discarded coffee container whenever I go for a walk.  Maybe people just don’t care or are in a hurry and think no one will notice.

3- McDonald’s hamburger wrapper-  This gives a whole new definition for eating on the run.  Makes sense though, because busy people often tend to think they don’t have enough time and often excuse themselves from following proper etiquette.  Or perhaps the person was just lazy.

4- Lottery ticket- The obvious reason is the person gave the ticket a toss because was it was not a winner.  Disgust can motivate us to do irresponsible things.  No way would someone throw something valuable out their window.

5- DO NOT TURN sign- My guess is that a fairly large vehicle hit this sign and mangled it.  Perhaps, the driver didn’t have any time to do anything proper with it, so it was left discarded randomly on the side of the road. Maybe,  it even did some damage to their vehicle and they cast it off in a rage.

It has been my experience, that people and objects often seem more real when you are wet from walking in the rain.  Long walks tend to diffuse the stupid, senseless thoughts in life.  Tired muscles help you focus on what TRULY MATTERS: God, family, others and dry clothes.

Rainy walks are known to help shift your focus on to things that truly matter.

Swavel

Painful Subject

 
 

Pain must never triumph.

No one likes pain, yet when it comes to this time of the year and football - aches and pains are inevitable.  For example, who can forget the devastating injury that Redskins’ quarterback, Joe Theismann, received inadvertently on November 18^th, 1985.  It was on Monday Night Football, that he had his career ended, when his leg was gruesomely broken inadvertently by Giants’ linebacker, Lawrence Taylor, while millions watched in horror. 

We all know what a broken legs is, however, now a days there are a lot of football injuries that are not so easy to decipher.  So, since I am not a medical doctor, I simply went on Web MD and the internet. In an effort to have a clearer knowledge of the game, here are some medical terms that you have already or soon will be hearing in regard to football injuries:

The first three injuries are somewhat common in football and all are related to the same area of the body- the knee and the ligaments that hold it in place.   These ligaments consist of strong fibers that function like the strands of a rope that holds the upper bone of the leg (femur) to the lower bone of the leg (tibia).   All three of these injuries can range in severity from a strain, to a sprain, to a partial tear to a complete tear.

When you hear the term, ACL, though it sounds like it is a life threatening illness, it is actually referring to an Anterior Cruciate Ligament injury.  The ACL is the front ligament inside the knee, which is the top strand of what appears to be an X pattern, which does its part to hold the femur to the tibia.  Worst case scenario is when a football player cuts too quickly or is hit the wrong way, completely tearing his ACL ending his season.   NFL example: Kansas City running back, Jamal Charles, just completely tore his ACL in week five of this season, while making a cut to allude a Chicago Bears’ defender, thereby ending his season.  This unfortunately is the second time this has happened to him in the last five years.

When the acronym, PCL, is spoken, it does not refer to a money lending bank, but rather an injury to the Posterior Cruciate Ligament.  The PCL is the other ligament inside the knee, underneath the ACL on the bottom strand of the X, which also connects the femur to the tibia.  This injury takes place most often when a player is struck at a prone angle by an opponent, and when torn, takes about a year to fully heal.  NFL example: WR Kennan Allen, in 2012, tore his PCL in college, causing his draft status to slip.  However, the San Diego Chargers drafted him anyway and in his third season appears to be hitting his stride as an up and coming wide receiver.    

The term, MCL, when mentioned, is not referring to an abbreviation for a phone company, but instead to an injury to the Medial Collateral Ligament.   The MCL keeps the inside portion of the knee stable, while connecting it to the femur and the tibia.  The MCL injury is usually caused by a direct blow to the knee, and again a full tear will take about year to fully heal.  NFL example: Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers’ quarterback, just sprained his MCL this season in week three, when a St. Louis Rams’ safety hit his knee awkwardly with his helmet. He has hopes of playing again in week seven or eight, due to the fact the injury was not a tear.

A BROKEN CLAVICLE is not an out of tune wood wind instrument that is played in the marching band.  Rather, a broken clavicle is when you fracture your collar bone, often when a player drives his opponent into the ground, breaking the bone in two.  NFL example: Cowboys’ quarterback, Tony Romo, broke his clavicle, for the second time in six years, against the Eagles in week two when a rookie linebacker rode him to the ground.  Subsequently, he will probably miss more than half the season, in hopes of returning around week eleven.

  

PLANTAR FASCITIS is not someone who is suffering from eating too many Planter’s assorted nuts.  Instead, it is when the rubber band that attaches the balls of the foot to the heel becomes frayed from straining too hard without properly stretching first.  Take it from someone who suffered from it, it feels like someone is shooting a nail gun into bottom of your foot each time you step on it wrong, till it loosen up or heals. NFL example: All-Pro tight end, Jimmy Graham, played for the Saints in October of 2013, when he suffered a partial tear in his plantar fascia.  However, despite the anguish, he continued to play still putting up above average stats.

A TORN LABRUM is not when someone gets their ear drum punctured by diving into a shallow swimming pool.  Rather, the labrum is a piece of rubbery tissue attached to the rim of the shoulder socket, that helps keep the ball of the joint in place, that when jammed into the ground cause this potentially career ending  injury.  It is a very difficult injury to fully recover from and to be able to perform up to previous standards.  NFL example:  Record setting quarterback, Drew Brees, tore his labrum in 2005 while playing for the San Diego Chargers and many feared he would never be the same.  However, he got it repaired, religiously rehabbed and four years later went on to win the Super Bowl with the New Orleans Saints.

In summary, now you can clearly understand what these hard to follow terms now mean.  However, pain is a part of life, just like in football.  Regardless, the injury, we need to get treatment, press on, and keep playing, if at all possible.  Whatever you do, don’t let pain sideline you, or worse yet, cause you to regret what might have been.

To get a passing grade in life, one must ace the painful subjects.

Swavel

Free Coffee

A pick me up is always a good thing.

What an awesome concept - free coffee.  Tuesday, September 29^th was National Coffee Day and one convenience store was giving away free coffee, any size, all day as a result.  Coffee is the ultimate pick me up, and when you are giving it away for free, not many can resist.

Well, honestly I didn’t know about the coffee give away until mid-morning.  But, when I heard the news, like Hannibal Smith from the A-Team, I gathered a plan to get as many cups of coffee as possible.  Here is how the day went:

1-During work, I had to get fuel in the company vehicle.  So, I went to that particular convenience store -got a free coffee.

2-On my way home from work, while taking a fellow employee to his house, I stopped again.   This was to give me a boost on the way home- got a free coffee.

3-Later that night, I took my daughter out to get her a doughnut and you guessed it – got a free coffee.

So, why give away coffee for free?  Beats me, however, here are some educated guesses:

1-When you give away free coffee you show appreciation and tend to produce loyalty.

2- When you give away free coffee you make an emotional connection.  Especially, if once you go into the store and the people who are providing the hot beverages are warm and friendly. 

3- When you give away free coffee you create muscle memory.  It has been said, in order to create a new habit, you must do something repeatedly for about three weeks.  Strangely enough, the convenience store that was giving away free coffee is now running a month long special where all coffee is $1.

Why are we attracted to free or, better yet, why am I attracted to free offers?

1-For some reason, whether rational or not, free makes me feel good.

2- It gets my adrenaline flowing, kind of like Christmas.

3-We all like to be appreciated, which is what the point of free coffee on National Coffee Day revolves around.

All this getting something for free, got me to thinking.  Since I am a follower of Jesus, I have received the free gift of salvation many years ago, as well as the promise of living with Him forever.  Out of appreciation, I now do my best to use my life to follow Him.  It isn’t without a struggle, because I am human and tend wander and get lost at times.  However, Jesus never forces our allegiance, but He does ask for an exclusive relationship, that we follow only Him.  He said in John Chapter 14, “I am the way, the truth, the life.”  Which makes sense, because Jesus so longs to be with us.

Simply stated, like free coffee, some offers like Jesus’ one are just too good to refuse.

     

Swavel

Football I.Q.

   

Knowing is half the battle.  - GI Joe

It is good to clarify.  Vince Lombardi, the Hall of Fame and legendary Green Bay coach for which the Super Bowl is named, was a subscriber to this theory, as well.  Once, after a particular humiliating loss to an inferior team, Lombardi began practice by huddling up his players and holding a football high in the air.  Then he spoke these clarifying words of reprimand, “Okay, we go back to the basics this morning…gentlemen, this is a football.

The following is an attempt to give more clarity concerning the game of football that can get confusing with all of its jargon.  Sadly, well into my adult years, I knew nothing of the terms I am about to share with you.  I never played organized football, but rather played pickup games, and often all we would say in the huddle was: Get open. 

Here are some terms I think can expand your football IQ:

The FADE PASS is not when the reception goes blank on your television screen just as a receiver is about to make a big play.  Actually, it is when the quarterback will lob the ball over a beaten defender to a receiver at the back corner of the end zone.  In essence, throwing to where only the receiver catch it.

The BACK SHOULDER PASS is not a pass that you throw over your back shoulder in order to trick your opponent.  Instead, it is a pass thrown when the defender has turned his back in order to keep up with the receiver. The quarterback recognizing this throws the ball aiming at this teammate’s back shoulder, in hopes the receiver will turn around at the last second to catch it.  When thrown well, it is nearly impossible to defend.

The FIVE TECHNIQUE is not a strategy a football player contrives to see where he will be financially in five years.  Rather, the five technique is when a defensive lineman lines up on the outside shoulder of the offensive tackle. In today’s game, this term is thrown out often and it sounds cool, although the average fan has no clue what it means.

 

A POST PATTERN is not a football player who routinely posts a blog about his feelings after the game.  Actually, it is when a receiver runs straight down the field for about ten to twenty yards and then cuts toward the middle of the field, in the direction of the facing goal post.  It often results in a big gain or touchdown when properly executed.

The RAZZLE DAZZLE play is not when you purchase a bag of multicolored highly sugary candies called Razzles that make your teeth fall out.  Instead, the razzle dazzle is a broad term for a trick play, such as the flea flicker or hook and lateral, where the highly risky play looks like one thing and turns out to be another.

An ELIGIBLE RECEIVER is not a young football player who is actively seeking a potential spouse.  Relatively speaking, an eligible receiver is often an extra offensive lineman, who is not a tight end, that lines up on either end of the offensive line.  This player must report to the official, and often comes into the game near the goal line as a ploy to trick the defense.  When the play is run he pretends to block and often goes uncovered. Sometimes it will result in a touchdown, depending if the burly player doesn’t have butterfingers and can catch.

Last, but not least, is the READ OPTION that is not a choice you give a high school student between choosing a book or watching a video.  The read option is normally when a quarterback, with running ability, takes the ball in shotgun formation and runs with the ball toward one side of the field, with the running back close behind him. The QB will look at what angle the defensive end is coming from and then either run himself or hand it off to the running back who is behind him. If this play is run correctly, it often allows for a fairly big gain.

Now that you have more clarity about football remember to use it wisely, because it is always good to know more, however, it is never good to be a jerk about it.

Football I.Q. is great, but make sure you are investing even more time in being a decent human being.

Swavel

 

Running Late

There is none righteous, no not one. (Romans 3:10)

Its 5-0 what?

    

This was not my best moment.  As I woke up on that fateful morning, a few weeks ago, I was already half an hour late to pick up a fellow employee.  Not to mention, I was supposed to be at work at 5 am.  It just felt like the day was doomed and I couldn’t see how it could be fixed.  My mind was swirling as I yelled at the bedroom wall in frustration, waking up my wife.

  

Then in the midst of my tantrum, my wife asked me, “can I help? ‘ Like a jerk I said, “No.”  My brain felt like an Etch-a-Sketch that had just been shaken clean.  Never mind I didn’t even know how she could help.  In hind sight, I should have kissed her and told her, “it was enough that she cared and that was more than enough help.”  However her mere tolerance of my confused state was a far better solution than telling me to get my act together.

Have you ever wondered what goes through an angry or frustrated person’s mind? Allow me to share some of the things that were running through my confused mind on that particular morning:

1 I’m already late- can’t be fixed.

2- Going to lose overtime pay- can’t be recouped.

3- Have to do reconnaissance and call the two guys from work to tell them I will be late- will be embarrassed

4- Must find the phone number of the guy I needed to pick up – frustrated at being disorganized.

5- After feeling an initial adrenaline rush, my body was starting to drag- can’t win.

6- Spilled coffee on my white shirt as I hurriedly got in to the car and yelled again-disgusted and angry.

7- Driving faster than I should, trying to make up time and save face- needless carelessness. 

Strange as it may sound, our anger can fuel us to do destructive things and, in my case, not be open to sound reasoning. Even when offered assistance by my wife to reset and try again, I pressed on feeling the need to fix it myself.  Notice I choose to let anger overtake my sensibilities.  My wretched human nature needed to be controlled like a matador tames a bull with his flowing red cape, instead of letting it run free, do damage or just act like a fool.

Unfortunately, like all of us, I have acted despicably before.  As a teen, I remember one particular nasty moment when I verbally insulted another guy about my own age for sport. The best way I can explain my poor behavior is with two reasons, albeit not excuses. One being, I was in a fury to impress another friend of mine, thinking incorrectly if I put someone else down it would elevate me. Second being, I had been put down by others in the past and had been hurt and strangely took it out on someone innocent.

My reasoning quickly vanished when I saw my victim’s facial expression and realized what I did could not be undone.  The guy I was trying to impress was even repulsed, which he should have been. Something I detested came over me, kind of like opening Pandora’s Box, and it was awful.  There simply is no good reason to hurt someone else for sport.

Now why would I be such a knuckleheaded jerk?  Mainly because sin is nasty.  Sin by definition means treating others unfairly, meanly, and thinking only of yourself.  In my opinion, anger can aptly be described as a tornado.  It is fueled by anger, frustration, embarrassment, and feeling like a loser.  When all those emotions come to together and then are unleashed by an individual on others, it can do some serious damage to the landscape of those around us.

This brings me back to an excellent lesson my wife taught me that fateful day, while I was being an angry jerk.  Fortunately, I did not take my anger out on her, but I made a fool out of myself and one of my daughters was even awakened by my tirade.  On that day, my wife simply loved me, and love has a way of making anger look like a downright waste of time.

We should never be running too late to allow anger, like coffee stains a white shirt, to ruin a perfectly good day.

Swavel

Any Last Words

Author’s note:

What you are about to read is from a special guest blogger, who happens to be one of my favorite people in the world.  She is my middle aged daughter, Sianna.  Hope you enjoy her sense of discovery and lucid thought, as much as I did. 

Her very proud father, Swavel

 

 

Any Last Words

                I am always amazed at how film directors always create the deepest, most moving, and most touching last words that take up a full minute. In reality, most people’s last words would be screams of terror. It always caused me to wonder what my last words would be. Last words can mean a lot. They can show your appreciation, be funny, or even change the way people think about you after they die. Here are some of my favorite last words:

                My bad. – I always wanted to use funny last words. This was something I want to say if my death is by some silly mistake I made. Like overheating myself by wearing a parka in the middle of summer. I know that would never happen in real life, but I wanted to start out this list on a light tone.

                I thought I’d have so much more time. – These last words are probably not something people would say outside of a movie. I chose this phrase because it’s so true. It’s like in the story where the boy is given a ball of yarn that, when unraveled, can skip through times in his life. Eventually, he skips through everything important including his and his wife’s deaths. Most of us often think that we have so much more time and, in thinking such, waste so much of the precious time we do have.

                I love you. – This phrase is a classic one so often used as last words in movies. It sounds so cheesy, but it’s still true. I don’t want to be like the person in the movies whose last words to their loved ones are an argument or harsh words over something stupid. My dad comes up to me at random times in the day and says, “Sianna, you are loved!” And I suddenly realize how little I tell him the same thing.

                I’m sorry. – I used to listen to a CD series called Down Gilead Lane. In one episode, a man died and the last words to his wife were, “I’m sorry.” This surprised me as the man had been a loving father of three and a strong Christian. And then I realized he was talking about before he was a Christian when he had never really been there for his family. He was apologizing for all the things that he did wrong in his life to anyone. That is why “I’m sorry,” has become some of my favorite last words.

                The simple truth is that I struggle to remind myself that all the things of this world are temporary. My Uncle Tim has often told me things like, “Everyone who has ever eaten broccoli has died.” People would gasp and ask if that was really true while I would think about it and say, “Wait a minute. Everybody dies eventually.” I want the people closest to me to know that I loved them, that I cared deeply for them, and to be proud of me and my accomplishments. 

My hope is this, that when my time comes, I’ll know just the right words to say. 

Sianna