Having Tete a Tete

Private conversations are always the best way to convey you care.

On my youngest daughter‘s eleventh birthday, I inadvertently made an fascinating discovery.  We were sitting at our kitchen table reading a poem for school when we happened upon this word: tete a tete.  She read the word while laughing at how it sounded.  Neither of us knew what it meant, so I looked it up and learned it means a private conversation between two people.

Despite the odd sounding title, deep down inside of us, I believe we all want someone to have tete a tete with us.  Perhaps with a parent, a friend, a spouse, someone we admire or someone we hold dear.

For instance, in just the past month I have unsuspectingly had tete a tete with all those I love in my direct family.  Whether it is having a coffee with my son in Iowa or reading a book with my eldest daughter or a poem with my youngest daughter in Pennsylvania or watching a DVD with my wife on our living room sofa. Sort of like divine appointments, but all private conversations with ones I love. 

However, I would be remiss if I did not highly recommend that we all should be having private conversations with God on a daily basis.  My most dramatic discussion came fourteen years ago, during a time in my life where I was fighting hard not to lose hope.  It was during this tragic period where the ones I loved most were all in a hospital and I was left feeling useless.  The only one I truly could hold tete a tete with at that moment was Almighty God.  I told Him gut level honest what I was feeling, asking Him to give me a purpose and then I stopped to listen.  Like a voice in my head I could hear Him speak, “Aaron, do you trust me.”

Sadly, up to that point for thirty two years of my life, I think I was trying to do life using God as my consultant. At that moment God revealed to me that he is capable of far more than I could ever imagine and always does best.  He just asks me to trust and obey and He will take care of the rest. Speaking from experience, time after tested time, God has proven worthy of that trust.

Case in point, fourteen years later after my private conversation with God, He is still amazing me.  The very fact my eleven year old Chinese daughter and I could be having tete a tete at beginning of this story defies logic.  It didn’t happen by accident, it was a God thing.  For my eleven year old to even be available to be my daughter God saw to it that many people took excellent care of her for eight years  half a world away.  Then, God motivated many people to help a crazy couple who were simply trusting God to raise support to get her to my kitchen table.  And now thanks to God and all those who obeyed Him, I can read poems with my daughter and fully understand what having tete a tete truly means.

 Having a memorable tete a tete consists of availability, obedience, and good ear.

Swavel

 

O Yes

 

Having a favorite team gives us a reason to live vicariously once in a while, with hopes of winning it all.

Seventeen years ago.   That is how long it has been since my favorite baseball team, the Baltimore Orioles, last won its division. It was 1997, the year Princess Dianna died, gasoline was $1.22 a gallon and sheep were being cloned.           

Just recently, someone asked me why I cheer for the Orioles, since I reside in the Philadelphia area?   My answer is a little offbeat.  While watching an All Star Game in 1979 I noticed a Baltimore Orioles’ hitter with a cool logo on his helmet and I liked it. Not to mention their main color is my favorite color: orange.  So, after that I cheered for the Phillies in the National League and the Orioles in the American League. 

Then a few years later the Phillies traded my favorite player, Manny Trillo away and I began to exclusively cheer for the Orioles. To say the least, this decision did not go over well where I lived and I even endured having the Oriole mascot being called a woodpecker.  However, that just seemed to fuel my fire even more to cheer for the Orioles, affectionately known by diehards as the O’s.

Now, I am moderately hoping to celebrate a World Series victory by the O’s this year, but I am not holding my breath.  Heck, the last time the Orioles did that was in 1983.  Fortunately, I no longer live and die with my team and get into arguments like I used to when I was fifteen and full of testosterone.  Back then I was obnoxious and feeling the need to defend my squad in church foyers, school libraries or wherever I was at the time. Often, I would get to finger pointing and raising my voice to defend my team. 

Back in the day, when the Orioles won the World Series the big names were Cal Ripken, Jr, Eddie Murray, Rick Dempsey, Tippy Martinez and Scott Mc Gregor.  My favorite all time Orioles’ highlight came in the 1983 playoffs when the O’s needed a big play in the fourth game of the playoffs.  A seldom used utility outfielder named Tito Landrum came to bat in extra innings with the hopes of just getting on base.  To my surprise he hit the ball out of the park giving the Orioles the victory and a spot in the World Series.

Strangely enough, the 1983 World Series matched the Orioles vs. the Phillies prompting the local fans to come out of the woodwork to harass me.   As it turned out the Orioles won in five games to become World Champs. Unfortunately for me the final game was on a Sunday night and I missed the entire game due to church.  On top of that, for weeks after the fact, my critics avoided me like the plague. It even took me six months to get a World Champs t-shirt because there was no e-bay.

All that to say, is I hope the O’s win, I really do.  But, it’s no longer a matter of life or death anymore and I suppose it never really should have been.  The last I checked the Baltimore Orioles don’t need my help or support, but it sure is a nice feeling when they win.

The fact remains, being able to say, “O yes my team just won” always feels much better than saying, “Oh no my team just blew it again.”

Swavel

Own Thing

It is one thing to do your own thing and altogether another thing to be you own person.

In today’s world we love to say make it your own or do your own thing.  The words sound so crisp, so invigorating and downright inspiring.  On a whole, our entire society has fallen for the idea of doing our own thing and the freedom it brings. 

With that in mind, the other week I was reading an article about a new fad.  It was about how some people, mostly women, enjoy wearing yoga pants as a fashion statement, but never attend a yoga class in them.  Claiming they are so comfortable they want to wear them all the time and not what they were designed for, which is to do yoga in them.   Even buying them at ninety bucks a pop at some stores literally making it their own thing.

If the truth be told, many of us make things are own.  Some people smoke a cigarette after they workout.  Some people wear wool winter hats in the summer. Some even go shirtless at sporting events when the temperature is below freezing.  Some wear black socks with shorts. Some wear hiking boots and flannel shirts and never go hiking.  The list goes on and on.

However, if I were to get introspective, I do odd things as well.

For instance, since I don’t go to bed early enough I make it my own and drink excessive amounts of coffee in the morning in order to stay alert. 

If I have a bad day I eat chocolate instead of exercising, yet both relieve stress, one in a healthy way and one not. 

Every day I compulsively carry a pen in my pocket, just in case I or someone else might need one.  This occasionally results in disaster when the pen is forgotten and goes through the washer and the dryer leaving a mess behind. 

The same compulsion applies with tissues during the winter which results in a mess throughout the wash looking much like a spider web.

Often, I don’t take the time to comb my hair choosing rather to wear a baseball hat. 

Sometimes sadly, I would rather watch sports than take the time instead to hear from God.  Can’t believe I said that, but it’s true. Heaven help me I’m a mess. 

It is my own belief that doing our own thing is a culmination of little habits we have grown accustomed to performing over a period of time.  These little actions then become a very part of the fabric of our lives. 

However, in turn, we should be careful not to allow our habits to replace our need to trust God with everything.  When left to our own devices the result is always disappointment and failure.  This makes sense since Proverbs speaks against this doing your own thing kind of mindset: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death”.

With that being said, I believe it should be our goal in life to be well pleasing to God.  Now, that is something to strive for, rather than just trying to make myself happy and do my own thing.

When you do your own thing you may get what you want, but in the end not what you need.

Swavel

Trees Give Shade

Everyone needs a moment to clear their head and see things the way they truly are.

Let me start with this disclaimer and personal reminder to myself: you never stop being a parent.

In order for clarity to reign supreme in the story I about to relate, I must go back to last Thursday.  This was the day before I left to go on a flight from Philadelphia to Iowa so I could visit with my twenty three year old son over the Labor Day weekend.  

On that night my ten year old daughter decided to give me a picture she had drawn with magic markers on what I thought was an old scrap of paper.  During the weekend while in Iowa I discovered the picture in my suitcase and pulled it out to share with him.  Upon closer investigation I noticed my daughter had mistakenly colored over one of her sister’s old homework assignments.  Then when I looked even closer three words jumped out at me: TREES GIVE SHADE.  The phrase resonated so deeply in my thoughts that I immediately tucked it away in my mind to be used at a later date.

With that being said I boarded a plane on Labor Day after having had a great weekend with my son.  Feeling very melancholy and in a surreal state of mind my eyes felt like a camera lens, taking in everything I saw.  That feeling continued as I took a window seat on a commuter plane that was flying from Cedar Rapids, Iowa into the Windy City of Chicago as the sun set.

This is what my eyes roughly saw from that window seat during the last ten minutes before we landed:

“High above the Windy City what I clearly see is a string of brilliant white lights hung on a pitch black canvas.  In the night air it was as if God had hung them there for my eyes only to see.  Upon closer examination I discovered these were street lights that a knife had cut out holes into the darkness. Yet something seemed to be missing.

As I continued observing I was captivated by the traffic moving oh so gracefully in this magical world, miles below my feet. So beautiful was the dark canvas shrouded in light, that it reminded me of an electric train display does at Christmas time encapsulating a feeling of warmth and serenity. Much like the feeling a warm blanket provides on a cold winter’s night back home in Pennsylvania.

 Then it dawned on me what was absent.  Where are the trees that give shade?

Now, as I sit at my computer, my conundrum of unseen shade trees has become clear.  As a parent I realize I am a shade tree for my kids.  When they are younger it is like daytime and my belief is my job and privilege is to protect them from the heat and rain and give them shade and shelter with my branches.  However, as they grow older like my son has it becomes like night time and my presence becomes like my view of Chicago; I am still there like the trees, even though I can’t be seen.

It can be frustrating being a parent sometimes, leaving you feeling less useful. Nevertheless, my biggest hope is that my son remembers how much I love him and the girls, too when they grow up.  Although I cannot always protect them my prayers are always for them.

Like a good tree gives shade, you never outgrow your parents’ love.

Swavel