Having A Moment

Every man dies.  Not every man truly lives.  William Wallace

 

We all get misty sometimes.  Especially, when we think of what might have been. It’s OK to have a moment and cry and miss someone or just be sad.  Then take that memory, make it smile and go forward in your life.

Here are two recent personal examples of having a moment:

Example A- 

Just the other day I saw what might have been.  It was a Saturday morning and we needed milk for cereal, so I drove to the local gas station to get some.  It was with milk in hand that out of the corner of my eye I saw a young girl in her early twenties.   She was nicely dressed with a white blouse, bright blue belt, matching purse and a plain ankle length skirt.  Something, in an innocent way, seemed familiar about her. 

Then as I got into my car to leave I saw her fueling up her car, which was an older foreign model.  Who knows where she was going, just starting her day off or setting out on an adventure?    It made no sense why this young girl in her twenties, had caught my attention.  Then, it hit me, she reminded me of my daughter, Alisha, who would have been about her age, if she were still alive. 

 So, as I drove by the girl in the bright blue belt and purse I smiled to myself, remembered my daughter and had a moment.  Not angry, just reflective.  Personally, I was happy to see others making their way in the world and content to know my daughter is safe in the arms of Jesus.  Till that great day when I can hold her again, I will try to keep taking one day at a time.  Just like the girl at the gas pump, as she treated life like a big adventure, moving ever forward.

Example B- 

This was one of those tear jerking occasions I saw coming, but refused to get out of the way. This past October my niece, Erica, asked me to join her in the father-daughter dance at her wedding.  Her dad had died in 2009 and could not fulfill his privileged obligation and my daughter, who I would never get to dance with, had died when she was seven.  We both knew it wouldn’t be easy, not to mention my dancing skills are awful.  However, to not dance would be us not making the most out of a difficult situation.  Love for my niece and wanting her to have a good memory on her wedding day made me try regardless of the outcome.

Out on the dance floor, despite my two left feet, something wonderful was transpiring.  When the song, You’ll Be in My Heart from the movie Tarzan, played I began to cry, even though I knew it was coming. These were the last words I had sung to my daughter before she died, because it was her favorite song. Then, my niece began to cry. 

Halfway through she even offered to let me off the hook, but the moment needed to be had.  I apologized for my lousy skills and she reminded me her dad was a white guy who couldn’t dance either.  Then something magical happened, we began to laugh and eventually smile. As I turned her round and around in circles, I was hoping the song would end so we could stop crying and at the same time hoping it would last a bit longer.  As it ended I kissed Erica on the cheek, said something mushy and disappeared into the crowd, so I could be alone with my thoughts.

Life is seldom fair.  However, that evening I learned this, healing begins by crying, eventually turns to laughter, and ends in a smile, if you let it. 

Having a moment to honor those we love is natural; just don’t waste your life wallowing over what might have been.

Swavel

Curious Instructions

If you think you’re going to sum up your whole life on this little bit of paper, you’re crazy. (fortune cookie saying)

Who doesn’t love fortune cookies and the crazy things they often reveal to us.  Hidden inside these cookies made of flour, sugar, vanilla and sesame oil are curious instructions chock full of profound thoughts, unusual notions and zany ideas.

Here are some facts you may or may not have known about fortune cookies, which I find particularly nasty to eat.  They are not sold in China.  By all accounts, fortune cookies originated in Japan.  A large majority of the actual cookies are produced in Brooklyn, New York, where they produce over four million a day.  And most of the sayings come from a company based in San Francisco.

So, in honor of this strange little treat, I decided to gather a bunch of sayings that I believe you would or could find when you open up a fortune cookie:

PROFOUND THOUGHTS

Be resolved and the thing is done.

Our pleasures are shallow, our troubles deep.

A cynic is only a frustrated optimist

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind, and won’t change the subject

UNUSUAL NOTIONS

One foot cannot stand in two boats at once.

You cannot clap with one hand.

A conclusion is simply a place where you got tired of thinking.

He who throws dirt is losing ground.

ZANY IDEAS

Never set the tiger free, if you live in the mountain. 

Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you. 

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 

When in anger sing the alphabet

With all that said, remember it is always good to gather information through life experiences.  Fortune cookies are a great reminder to allow yourself to be inspired by what we see and hear every day.  And at the same time, like with fortune cookies, we need to be discriminating when we encounter something utterly ridiculous and  hit the mental delete button.

Like in life, when reading curious instructions always take the good with the bad.

 

Swavel

Double Order

 

Pleasant childhood memories refresh even the weariest of souls. 

If the truth be told, from time to time we all long to feel special.

About a month ago, I was researching famous first lines of novels when I came across an curious first line, from a book entitled, One Hundred Years of Solitude.  “Many years later as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. 

It got me to thinking about several occasions in my childhood when my grandfather took me out for a double order of French fries at his favorite diner. The occasion was usually my birthday and we would arrive at his favorite diner just as breakfast was ending and lunch was beginning. My grandfather was a rotund, shorter, balding man whose voice I could listen to all day.  He was the kind of person who had an air of confidence that I admired and sought to have for myself.  During these special occasions he would order some eggs and coffee and I’d get a double order of as many diner French fries they could pile on a plate. On rare occasion they would even offer a triple order of fries.   Now that was living.

To this day, I can still smell the scent of greasy food and cigarette smoke coming from the diner, as well as hear the dishes clanking as the bus boy collected them.  In my mind’s eye, I can also still see the waitress smile and ask my grandfather who he had brought today.  It is hard to do justice to such a memory that just made me feel so special.  It just had an electric feel about it that you just don’t forget, like it just happened yesterday.  It made me feel secure, comfortable and grown up all at the same time.  Not to mention, I loved eating those greasy fries smothered in ketchup.  But, mostly I think it was just being in the company of someone I deeply admired and loved.

 

It is a strange thing how childhood memories can transport us back in time to a safer place where the world seemed a little less cruel.  Just like the man in the book, One Hundred Years Of Solitude, who was fondly remembering discovering ice, right before he was about to die in front of a firing squad.

  

We all should have some good kind of memory to pull from to help us through the rough spots in life. A moment  when someone took the time to make us feel special and loved; to talk to us like we were a grown-up, even though we weren’t yet.   With that being said, may we all look for opportunities  with the ones we love to reciprocate  the same kind of experience we hard, when our souls smiled.

Cherished memories, like a double of fries with your grandfather, are special treasures God grants to us to make life a little easier to bear up under. 

Swavel