Recipe for Success

Who doesn’t know the iconic look of Colonel Harland Sanders on every bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? But did you know he wasn’t famous until he well over sixty years of age. The Colonel is a great example of persistence, someone we can all relate to and learn from.

Born in 1890, Colonel Sanders had much to overcome in his life. His father passed away when he was five, so while his mother worked he was required to cook for the family. He dropped out of school in the seventh grade and later left his family because of abuse by his stepfather. He held various jobs before he was forty including: steamboat pilot, railroad fireman, insurance salesman, farmer, and practiced law. During this time he married and had three children, one of whom passed away at a young age.

During the 1930’s in his early forties, Sanders began selling chicken dinners and other meals out of a service station in Kentucky. He was quite successful and during this time he developed his original, secret recipe of eleven herbs and spices. However, by the early 1950’s, a new interstate diverted the traffic from his business subsequently forcing him to sell.

Now in his mid sixties, Sanders took to the road dressed as a Kentucky gentleman in his famous white suit with black western tie and who could forget his white goatee. In his quest to sell his chicken and start franchises, he wound up making over one thousand visits often facing ridicule and rejection. By 1964, despite the naysayers, the Colonel had established over six hundred franchised stores where you could purchase his chicken in the United States and Canada.

Colonel Sanders was also well known for his generosity to charities and orphans. He once said, “There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.” By the time he passed away in 1980 he had become one of the world’s most recognizable faces.

May Colonel Sanders be an inspiration to us all, to never give up despite the odds. It is never too late to aspire to something more; a better craftsman, a better father, a better husband, a better writer, or simply a better person. You never know where your persistance may lead. Perhaps our goal should be, being greatly esteemed by the lives we touch and whatever else happens, well, happens.

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” ~ Booker T. Washington

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High Hopes

On the night before Father’s Day I discovered something special my son had left in my bedroom. It was a check with a note on top which read: “just take it.” But, unbeknownst to both of us the best gift was a poem on the flip side of his note. This is what it said:

Hopes
Hopes are the dreams of our future.
Ideas we wish were given life.
How is it that we never fight for our ideas?
Maybe because we realize they could never be.
Or it could be that we do not want to fight for them.
Sitting and thinking requires little action.
I believe that most hopes fall apart because of laziness.
My hope is that I will be motivated to work.
So when the end comes I will not have to wonder what could have been.
I hope to follow the calling wherever it leads from now till the end.
To death if I am called.
I hope that I will do more than just think these words.
So that when the time comes my hopes will become reality.
~ Jordan S. Swavely

Funny how the best advice often comes from the least expected sources. My son wrote this during his senior year in high school and it seems to sum up where I am right now. For so long I had hopes of writing a book, but no matter how hard I tried it just didn’t seem to work out. Then this past May I tore my quad and a friend suggested I start this blog. Now, whether or not my hopes of a book are realized, I am doing what I truly enjoy, writing. And just perhaps it will encourage someone along the way.

Everybody has hopes, but as my son said, “Sitting and thinking requires little action,” so we must be willing to fight for our hopes till they become reality.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.” ~ Dr. Seuss

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Temporary Inconvenience

Have you ever felt like you could never catch a break? I certainly have. There are certain times when life ‘just happens’. Far too often though, we allow little problems to grow because of the inconvenience that it poses us.

About three years ago, during the summer, our dryer gave up the ghost. It was frustrating because we had no extra money, so we simply hung our clothes out on the line. At work, several days later, someone was offering a free very used dryer. We had already set a date to pick up the dryer when someone learned of our situation and offered to get us a new one. We told them we had it taken care of, but they encouraged us to take their offer instead. A very much appreciated act of kindness.

This summer my family and I were in a similar predicament, but this time it was our washer. Again, funds were low and I felt exasperated. A few days later, I found a reasonably priced used washer from an appliance store that would deliver and then remove the broken one. The evening before the scheduled delivery, my parents remembered our old washer was still stored in their basement from our move eight years prior. A friend, who used to work for an appliance store, overheard the conversation and offered to help out with the delivery. Once again, things worked out.

It doesn’t always happen this way, but in these two instances I was privileged to receive an unexpected blessing. There have been many other situations like these, but if I look at it honestly, they are simply minor inconveniences on my way through life. Yet, the fact that I am fortunate enough to have appliances that need replacement is a blessing. Perhaps, I should take the focus off myself and realize how much I truly have.

I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street; I met a man who had no feet. ~ Ancient Persian saying

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Fear Proof

The results from the first poll are in and it revealed your biggest fear is your family being harmed. To paraphrase former President Franklin Roosevelt, our biggest fear is often fear itself. I can understand this to a point since I had thought my entire family had been lost in a car accident, nearly ten years ago. But there is someone who knows exactly what it feels like to lose his entire family.

On Labor Day weekend of 2003, Robert Rogers, his wife and their four children were caught in a flash flood in Kansas. In a matter of minutes, Robert, lost everything he cherished most and only he would miraculously survive. He had every right to give up, but when Robert’s worst fears were realized he turned them over to the only One who could truly save him, Jesus.

In the aftermath, Robert started a ministry called, Mighty In The Land, designed to help encourage families to keep their priorities right. Whenever I hear his story and his motto: “Know God, No Regrets” it becomes obvious he is someone who fears God, not circumstances. He now is remarried with two children and also keeps his family’s memory alive by seeking to support five orphanages worldwide, with three having already been established. Each orphanage will ultimately bear the name of each of his family members whose addresses have been changed to heaven.

I will leave you with a quote Robert made a few days after the tragic loss of his family. “Savor every single precious minute with your spouses and children, hug and kiss them every morning and evening, tell them over and over how much you love them.” Perhaps instead of fearing, we should be focusing and finding where our priorities truly lie.

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For Robert Rogers’ full story or more details on his ministry please visit: www.MightyInTheLand.com

Pleasant Aroma

On a normal work day I arrive early to make a pot of coffee. There is nothing quite like hearing the coffee maker percolate as the pleasant aroma drifts in my general direction. Nothing awakens me in the morning like a cup of Joe and exchanging pleasantries with others.

Every so often I stop by a store to get a cup of coffee. There is always a kind smile to greet me from a sweet elderly lady, who chats with me as if we were old friends. It never ceases to amaze me how much I look forward to her cheerful greeting. The odds are she isn’t making an exorbitant amount of money, yet she offers a pleasant aroma that even the seven varieties of coffee cannot.

Occasionally I order out for my family. When I arrive to pick up my order, I always wonder what’s on the other side of the door. Will the pizza dude behind the counter be carefree or cranky? In my experience, a lot of people are a product of what is going on around them. If things are unpleasant in their life or if they are having a bad day, it influences their outlook and they act irritable. So, despite his disposition I still go back because I like the food and maybe my pleasant aroma will rub off on him.

Perhaps, instead of focusing on other’s attitudes we should put more energy into creating a pleasant aroma. With that thought in mind we should remember George Eliot’s words, “Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.”

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Never More Proud

I am a part of a very special and proud fraternity, I am a father. The following are some very special memories I have shared with my children over the years.

In the early morning of March 21st, 1991, my newborn son was gently handed to me. The world slowed momentarily as I got acquainted with my son. Another memory comes to mind when he gave the salutatorian speech last year at his graduation. Never have I been more proud of him.

On the afternoon of April 24th, 1993, when my first daughter was born, I inherited a rich man's family . The last night I shared with my daughter before she changed her address to heaven, she unselfishly bought crackers and chips for some of her friends with her own birthday money. Never have I been more proud of her.

It was the afternoon of June 2nd, 2003, when my third child (second daughter) was handed to my wife and I in Nanjing, China. It was a day my heart smiled. Now at the age of seven, my daughter insists on reading her bedtime stories to me every night. Never have I been more proud of her.

My children have made me proud from the moment I set my eyes on them. Perhaps this thought from Elizabeth Stone best sums it up, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

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Let’s play catch

Have you ever seen the baseball movie, “Field of Dreams?” The whole movie revolves around the son’s attempt to get one more chance to spend time with his father. Who can forget the image of the son and his dad playing catch at the very end of the movie as the credits begin to roll? That got me to thinking.

One of my fondest memories growing up was when my dad took the time to play catch with me. When the mood would strike I would wander into the basement, where dad was often working on his car, with my baseball glove and ball and ask if he had time to play catch. He would often hesitate, then give in and say, 'okay, if you get my glove we can throw for a few minutes.' We didn’t say much, but it always made me feel better after we were done. Always.

Since I have become a dad I have done the same with my son, first when he was playing baseball and now softball. For some reason, it seems to give us both a strange sense of satisfaction as we see how far and hard we can throw to each other. Kind of like a challenge, a man’s way of passing a test, but at the same time no one is keeping record. Now, I understand a lot better why my dad took the time. There is nothing like just sharing a moment, just him and I.

Some of the best times you will ever have with your child is when you are just 'being' together. It doesn't need to be a game of catch, perhaps just something you both enjoy. "A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove. But the world may be different, because I was important in the life of a 'child'." (Forest Witcraft)

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Your turn: What is your most favorite childhood memory?

Snatch success from failure

When it comes to being successful, often we are our own worst enemy. In the midst of setback, often our failures teach us more than our successes. All you have to do is take a look back into history.

As a child, I was fascinated by the stories of Little Big Horn, but the more I learned I soon discovered that General George Armstrong Custer had some serious character flaws. During his military career, he had a reputation for fearless aggression, questionable tactics, and was not always well respected by his men. He was also court martialed twice. Eventually, Custer ended up out west to control the Indian uprisings, but even then was almost removed from his post due to a heated disagreement with then President Ulysses S. Grant. Controversy seemed to be his constant companion.

It was on June 25th, 1876 during the ill-fated Battle of Little Big Horn when General Custer’s luck would run out. The fate of Custer and his men was sealed when the two other troops deployed to help him were ineffective. Then unbeknownst to Custer, he advanced too quickly right into the middle of thousands of Lakota and Cheyenne warriors with just 210 of his own men. When he underestimated his opponent, he and his troops paid for it with their lives.

We can learn even from Custer. Listen to wise counsel and be honest with yourself. When you do suffer a setback, be quick to take responsibility and try never to make the same mistake twice. More times than not, the biggest hindrance to success in life is ourselves.

Perhaps we can apply what George Santayana said, “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

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No Excuse

There was a time in my life when I was an avid excuse maker. Now, I tend to become easily frustrated when others do the same. In the past month, I have scratched my head as I watched oil spill into the Gulf and wondered to myself, "why doesn't someone do something?" I have grown weary of men in high places making excuses instead of someone just taking responsibility and finding a solution.

This got me to thinking about our society in general, it seems to me we tend to be blame shifters. I speak from experience because as I said before, I used to be a full-fledged member. Too often when something goes wrong or someone is in need you hear, "it's not my problem, let somebody else deal with it." The spill in the Gulf reminded me of a day when I did something instead of just standing around watching the world go by.

One morning, during my bugkilling days, I was servicing a small grocery store when an opportunity presented itself. There was a little boy who wanted some milk, but had no money. Then, I overheard the clerk tell him that he couldn't help, so I asked if I could pay for it. The clerk advised against it, seeing how the child's parents were careless with their money. While I understood his position, I couldn't justify refusing the child milk. So, despite the man's suggestion I paid for the milk because it just seemed like the right thing to do. It was good to see the little boy leave with a smile and a jug of milk under his arm. I didn't solve all his problems, but for once he didn't hear, "I'm sorry, I can't help you." Instead, he saw a solution. Lame excuses don't make the cereal float in your bowl.

Obviously you or I can't fix the oil spill in the Gulf, but perhaps we can learn from it. Wouldn't we all be better off if we all spent more time applying what Elbert Hubbard once suggested, "don't make excuses, make good."

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Perfect Ending

To this day, there have only been twenty perfect games ever recorded in the history of major league baseball. So rare a feat, more men have orbited the moon than experienced the euphoria of a perfect game. Yet, a week ago due to one man's decision another man was deprived of his place in history.

Before Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010, few of us had ever heard of 28 year old, Detroit Tigers pitcher, Armando Galarraga. Now he is a hero of sorts. He was pitching a perfect game against the Cleveland Indians and only needed one more out when first base umpire, Jim Joyce, blew the game-ending call. A melee ensued and angry Tiger players and coaches argued to no avail. For one night it seemed as if injustice had prevailed and one man's chance for immortality had been stolen from him. So, why a week later has the fervor relinquished. The answer lies in the word character.

After viewing the replay, Joyce admitted he had missed the call, yet on the next day, June 3, 2010, he chose to meet his fate head on. He was offered the opportunity to take the day off, but declined, even though he hadn't slept and there were personal threats made against him. Like a true man he chose to umpire the game anyway. His character later would be rewarded.

Fortunately, Galarraga, who had every right to begrudge Joyce for his indiscretion refused to do so. Instead, the next day Galarraga performed a time honored tradition and took the lineup card out to the umpire, Joyce, before the game, as an act of compassion and true character. There stood Galarraga next to the man who inadvertantly robbed him of baseball immortality. The gesture brought tears to the umpire’s eyes. Then the two hit each other on the shoulders, as only men can do, and went about their business.

Say what you want about sports, but for a brief moment I learned something about character, it is more important than money or the title of being called perfect. These two men showed me this: admit when you are wrong and be gracious in defeat. Perhaps, no one personifies this better in sports than the legendary college basketball coach, John Wooden, who once said, "Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."

This is a lesson I will not soon forget and perhaps, on June 3rd, 2010, we did witness something perfect after all.

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What 'Perhaps' Is...

Perhaps you are wondering where I am going with this blog. Here it is. This blog is an attempt to encourage you to make a change for the better. Look at perhaps as a positive maybe. Instead of allowing life to make you bitter and frustrated, choose to make the world a better place because you are here.

Have you ever had a moment when you didn’t know if you could go on? I have. In the early morning of May 4th, 2000, my daughter had just passed away and I was beyond sorrow. The world as I had known it no longer existed and I was devastated. Yet, in my darkest hour came a small glimmer of hope. After she had passed, the nurse came to me and hidden in the palm of her hand was my daughter’s tooth, the one I had been trying to pull for weeks with no success.

In my worst moment, I had received the most precious gift in the world. The pain wasn’t taken away, but in that instant I was given a push in the right direction on how I should handle the rest of my life. There would still be many difficult hurdles to overcome and choices to make. Perhaps the best decision would be to live my life in such a way as to honor my daughter’s life and memory. The alternative was not a viable option. So, everyday when I try to wake up with a ‘perhaps’ type of attitude I put myself in a position to succeed.

Perhaps, the difficulty isn't really the problem, but rather how we approach the difficulty.

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Man vs. quad: On the road to recovery as I exercise my quad.

Laugh a Little

Sometimes life can feel overwhelming and you can’t seem to shake the frustration. So, if you are going through a tough time, sounds like you need a laugh.

Several years ago, I went to a maze made out of cardboard boxes hosted by a local youth center with my son and some extended family. So picture this, me, a thirty-four year old, two hundred and thirty pound man stuck in the catcher's position in a maze built for adolescents. It was pitch black and I was wedged in the one wooden area of the maze with no where to go. To make matters worse, there was a long line of people asking, "What's the hold-up?" Then somewhere in the darkness I overheard, “There's a big guy stuck and he can’t get out.” Then I hear, “Hey, there’s a big guy stuck....there’s a big guy stuck....there's a big guy stuck,” echoing all the way to the end of the line. Even with this peer pressure, I couldn't free myself.

So after what seemed an eternity, probably more like five or ten minutes, the leader of the event loudly announced, “Aaron, don’t worry we’re coming in to get you.” They should of just shot me and been done with it. As they were sending a guy in to get me out, I could hear the laughter of my so called friends and family. Good news, I eventually got free; bad news, I couldn’t retrieve my pride.

Perhaps we can all learn from Abraham Lincoln, "With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die."

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Man vs Quad: Good news, my stitches are gone and now it's onto therapy.