Cat Tales

 

Cat saves life.

This was what I overheard on the newscast the other night as I was brushing my teeth from the adjoining hallway.  It got me to thinking because normally cats are not a favorite of mine.

Over the years I have owned two cats. One had fleas, one had ear mites. Suffice it to say the experience did not bode well for all involved. As a service guy, I even had a few run-ins with cats. Most notably the one with the attack cat who stayed in his room with the door shut, while I fled. In my past experience, cats at times have come off to me like they have Garfield syndrome: I’ll move when I feel like it and you can’t do anything about it.

Nevertheless, despite my past record with cats, I still have a fondness for what they can do for people in the way of healing properties. Here are a few tales in particular that come to mind.

Years ago during my stint as an exterminator, I met a lady who lived in an apartment complex. She was a woman in her late forties who believed her cats would talk to her by meowing and pointing out to her where the spiders and ants lived. From the moment I came in the door she would converse with me while I struggled to get a word in edge wise.

Often, she would harmlessly flirt with me, which apparently stemmed from her being alone for the greater part of the day. Unfortunately, I was under strict time restraints and couldn’t afford to sit and talk. The cats, however, seemed to fill in the gaps for her. They had time for her and listened to what she had on her mind.

There was also another time I had the pleasure of meeting an fascinating woman, who was a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit nurse. She performed a remarkable task in which she cared for children on life support or in serious life threatening conditions, where death was a constant companion.

During one of our conversations, I asked her how she would deal with the death of a child. She explained she would go home, talk to her cats, have a glass of wine and then go to bed. There are no answers sometimes o life's hardest questions and a cat does not pretend to offer any. Just to feel their warmth and hear their soothing purr is at times exactly what the doctor ordered.

Let it be known, that although I am not a cat lover, there is something invaluable to be taken from the intangibles cats offer their owners. Our feline friends offer two valuable commodities: companionship and comfort. No one wants to be alone and a cat eases the discomfort of someone who lacks social skills. On the other paw, we all want a shoulder to cry on, someone to hear us out.

May we all learn this from cats: the importance of saving a life.

Swavel

Stumble forward

Welcome to my 100th entry. Today, in honor of this milestone, I would like to talk to you about the importance of stumbling forward.   We all stumble sometimes in life. There are even times when we trip over first base, like me and former minor league baseball player, Jeremy Brown, did. Brown, is the guy from the movie, “Moneyball,” who tripped over first base on his way to second base, thinking what he hit was a double, not knowing he had hit a homerun. What the two of us also have in common is that when we tripped we fell forward, in more ways than one. When I stumbled, in the spring 0f 2010, I tore my quad muscle. During the interim, when I was laid up from surgery a family friend, Judy, mentioned I should write a blog. Well the rest, as they say, is history.     Here are some other situations where stumbling forward is a good thing.   When it comes to family, we need to do whatever it takes to play our part well. I am the head of my household, a husband, and father of four. More days than not as a parent and a husband, I wonder if I am even close to doing anything positive for my family. But, I stumble forward doing my best anyway. Yet, I truly believe it is the most significant role I will ever get to play.   Just the other day, someone from work reminded me I was someone special because I was a dad. It is a huge responsibility wrapped in a privilege to be head of a family. Sometimes, it scares the tar out of me, when I think about it too long. However, there is nothing nicer than a hug and a “dad you’re the best” or my wife telling me how much she appreciates me. Even if isn’t entirely true all the time.   Recently, there was the time when my wife and I both stumbled forward together when God convinced us to adopt our youngest daughter, Lia, from China. I’ve said it before, but that was crazy. We had no finances, no resources, and no clue how to raise funds. We had faith in God though and when it comes to doing the impossible that is more than enough; in essence it is all that truly matters. We checked our inhibitions, sanity, and fears at the door on more than one occasion because we were scared out of our minds that we had gotten in over our heads. In the end, God performed a miracle and Lia just celebrated he ninth birthday, and first with us, just a week ago.   Currently, as well, our country is in the midst of trying to stumble forward. Sure, the good old USA has seen better days, but, I said this before and I stand by it, you would be hard pressed to find another country that comes close. We are beyond blessed to live in his country. If you ever doubt that America is the best country in the world, just leave for a week. You will come home hankering for some kind of food they don’t make over there or like me and my son, Jordan, you will come home with an unquenchable desire for root beer.    Writing this blog has been like stumbling forward because in the past it was beyond difficult for me to write clearly and concisely. So subsequently, in the past, I would quit when things went awry. A key obstacle many authors face is writing something relevant instead of just talking about it. This, however, is a catch 22 because, although writers need to write, they also need to say something of interest. In my opinion, a good writer draws you into conversation, like the aroma of coffee at Starbucks does me, and leaves you with a warm, satisfied, glad you came by feeling when you are done.   It is my deepest desire and intention that this blog be an encouragement to you, even though certainly I am not Hemingway. Here is my motto I have posted on my blog from day one: Trying to make a difference as I stumble through life. I sincerely hope I have.   Remember that there is no shame in stumbling forward, the bigger shame is in not trying at all.   Swavel

Adverse affects

It has been said, “Most ordinary men avoid adversity, while extraordinary ones turn it to their advantage.”   These four professional football players exhibit this such ability.

Exhibit A- PERSERVERANCE

Last week, during the first NFL game of the season I saw something noteworthy. A lot of things nowadays don’t inspire me, but, ten year veteran tight end, Jason Witten of the Dallas Cowboys did just that.  Despite having just recovered from a lacerated spleen weeks before he suited up to play because he felt it was the right thing to do.

A deep loyalty to his team and a recent visit to a U.S. Navy SEALs base, also seemed to be key contributors to his desire to play.   As motivation, Witten had this Navy SEALs motto taped above his locker:  “I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. ….If knocked down, I will get back up every time. I will draw on every remaining source of strength to help my team and to accomplish our goal. I am never out of the FIGHT."

It’s not hard to admire such a work ethic.  Apparently, Witten was of the mindset that it was more painful to sit and watch, then to push through the discomfort and do what he could to help his team win the game.

Exhibit B- MOVING ON

 Nobody wants to be publicly humiliated, just ask Scott Norwood.  If you follow football, the phrase wide right takes you back to one of the most exciting finishes in Super Bowl history.  It was Super Bowl XXV and all Buffalo Bills’ kicker, Scott Norwood, had to do to beat the New York Giants and become the hero was to make a 47 yard field.  Conversely, when he missed, wide right, all he could do was clutch his helmet and drop his head in agony as the Giants’ players ran past him in celebration.  Before his ill fated attempt, Norwood was an above average field goal kicker.  Just a year later he was out of the NFL, never to return.  He it took it so hard that for years he could barely speak of the missed kick because it hurt too much.

However, a few years ago I read an article in Sports Illustrated where he was finally moving on with his life.  He believed he had learned from it and was now a better man for it.  At the time of the article, ten years ago, he was a real estate broker.  Norwood, from time to time, would even mention his missed kick in an effort to gain a couples ‘sympathy when showing a house. 

He had learned to appreciate the little things in life like his wife, three kids and a happy home in the suburbs. Just like Scott Norwood, we all miss from time to time, but it is truly important that we don’t allow one failure to cause us to miss out on life.  

Exhibit C- LAUGH IT OFF

Several years prior to wide right, Don McNeal suffered a similar fate in Super bowl XVII.  He was the Miami Dolphins’ defensive back who running back John Riggins of the Washington Redskins ran over on his way to scoring the decisive touchdown  of the game. I was in tenth grade at the time and being a huge Dolphins’ fan I still remember the play that turned the game, like it was yesterday. 

It was fourth and one. The Redskins were trailing the Dolphins by just a few points and needed a first down late in the game.  They handed the ball off to running back, John Riggins, who in Washington they referred to as the Diesel.  They play was expertly executed and it was Riggins’ 235 lbs vs. 190 lbs of cornerback Don McNeal at the 43 yard line.  The Dolphins’ cornerback never really stood a chance.  To this day, I still remember poor McNeal valiantly attempting to wrap himself around Riggins.  Then I watched in horror as Riggins shrugged him off like a bad habit galloping his way off into sunset and along with it any real chance for my team to win.

It was widely reported after the game that McNeal’s missed tackle had helped cost the Dolphins the Super Bowl.  Nevertheless, when I read about him a few years ago, I discovered he seemed to have taken the whole thing in stride and even laughs about it now.  In the article he tells of how when the Riggins’  highlight comes on around Super Bowl time that he calls his wife in the room and tells her jokingly that maybe this time he will make the tackle.

McNeal is now a pastor with a winning disposition, that works with the youth of his area. Funny how you can’t change the outcome, but in my opinion, Don McNeal got the last laugh.

Exhibit D- SOMETHING TO PROVE

When I think of Tom Brady, I think of a winner.  Born and bred in California, super model for a wife, three times Super Bowl winner and a guy who seems to have it all going for him.  By the time he retires he will have gone down as one of the best quarterbacks to ever play in the NFL.

However, throughout his entire football career, up until his first Super Bowl win, he has always had to prove himself.  The scouting reports on Brady were that he was too slow, too slight, didn’t throw a tight enough spiral, and that he was not able to do make enough big plays.  He was a bench warmer in high school, college and then in the pros. No matter what he tried he never seemed to get noticed and there always seemed to be somebody better suited at his position standing in his way.

This all seemed to come to a head when it came time for Brady to be drafted in the NFL in 2000.  He was told he might go in the second round, but that came and went.  Eventually, in the sixth round, with the 199^th pick the New England Patriots took  him.  In referring to that day in an interview, Tom Brady, once said how horrible it was to think, “man, maybe no one wants you.”

In turn, that difficulty propelled him forward in his career to work harder and never to give up, no matter what. What perhaps sums up Brady best was when he told the New England Patriots’ owner, Robert Kraft,  that he, Kraft,  had made one of the best decisions he had ever made when he picked Brady. Three Super Bowls later and counting, Tom made his point; don’t think I’m good enough, I’ll prove you wrong.

At one time or another, we all face situations in life when adverse affects us.   However, we must choose whether to punt the ball during these trying times or else keep driving till we score a touchdown.

Swavel

 

Andy Griffith set me up

It's true, Andy Griffith set me up. He made that father-son thing look far too easy. From the opening scene on all of his shows where he and his son were holding fishing rods to that famous whistling tune in the background. Me, on the other hand, I almost had to hand in my dad card on more than one occasion. Here are few examples.

My first attempt at an Andy Griffith moment gone awry happened when my son, Jordan, was about five. It was when I took my son out for a walk at my wife’s grandmother’s house up in the mountains of Pennsylvania.  My intent was to take him to a secluded baseball field, kind of like in the movie, “Field of Dreams”. So off Jordan and I went with a gym bag full of baseballs and a bat, pseudo Andy Griffith, albeit no one was whistling. All went as planned as we played catch and hit a few balls. Then it all went suddenly wrong when I tried to take a shortcut on the way back home.

Long story short, we wondered through the woods for what seemed hours as I got us terribly lost. In the end after my son got sick from drinking too much water at my insistence, we were rescued by a bunch of elderly ladies.  To make matters worse, Florine, the unofficial leader of the group, happened to know my wife’s grandmother personally. The worst part was they drove so slow taking us back I could have walked faster.  My heart was in the right place; however my directional skills had us in the entirely wrong direction.

You would think I would have learned from the previous misadventure, but apparently I did not. I, however subscribe to the try, try again theory. Taking another cue from Andy I decided a few years after the first debacle to take my son fishing, when he was about eight. I doubt however that Andy Griffith ever carried his bait in a Wal-mart bag. As you might expect it didn’t turn out too well.

Despite the assistance of an expert fisherman my line still got caught in the trees and after about 2 to 3 hours of nothing to show for our trouble I took Jordan pizza fishing. My heart was in the right place; however my fishing skills and rod were not.

This brings me to the other night, without going into details, when I unintentionally embarrassed my son, who is now a college student.   I called him late at night when he had stayed out later than I had anticipated.  It was awkward, but my heart told me it was the right thing to do. Every parent worth his weight in salt knows that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach you get when you think your child might be hurt or lost or in peril. You simply do what you must do, despite the embarrassment.

That moment helped me understand a little better what a dad truly is. He cares, even if he has to look dumb in the process.  Ever since my son was born I tried so hard not to embarrass him like my dad, who once embarrassed me when I was a seventh grader playing football.  He pulled me from a game because of a downpour. For many years I never understood why he would embarrass me like that. A few years ago I discovered from my dad that he just was trying to do what he thought was right for me. Heck, nobody can be Andy Griffith and believe me I wasn’t going to be Dan Marino anyway.

So, it is I love my son, maybe not always perfectly like Andy Griffith seemed to on the television screen.  But, in my opinion he set me up because my heart is in the right place, it just doesn’t always look like it.

Swavel