Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Stick-to-it-iveness

 
Image result for krazy glue tube


For something to last it has to held together by something that won’t give in or out easily.

You can only know what you know.  Before I looked it up I thought the term sticking point meant the moment at which something becomes glued together.  Guess I was thinking about the word, freezing point. However, the true definition of sticking point is this: “something that people disagree about and that prevents progress from being made.”

So, rather than talk about problems without solutions, let’s talk about things that last a long time and have a certain stick-to-it-iveness.  Speaking of this word, did you know that it means dogged perseverance; tenacity. What’s not to love?   Especially, since we live in a society that would rather run than stay and work out their differences.

A few months ago a thought piqued my interest while I was reading Malcom Gladwell’s book, The Tipping Point.  This thought or phenomenon can best be described as the stickiness factor.  In his book, Gladwell was discussing why some consumer items are considered sticky and remain viable over long periods of time, while others do not hold their own and eventually die off.  

For my money, nothing better epitomizes the stickiness factor than the traditional wedding vows.  To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish:  from this day forward until death do us part.  Which is answered by these simple two words: I DO.  Sadly, too many people are really answering, I do for now, but let’s wait and see if it all works out.

The phrase which sticks out in these vows for me is for better or for worse, which I believe is stick-to –it-iveness, like glue, in any good relationship. Will you both be willing to persevere despite hard times, conflict and whatever may come?  Faithful perseverance, not blind faith is the key here. The reason I am thinking about such is my wife and I are now on our 26th year together and sometimes I wonder how. My answer is simple: we enjoy being with one another, more than not.

Like better or for worse, life is often made up of another sticky question, do you?  This is what people in a long relationship ask when they no longer feel in love: do you? This is something a child, either born into or adopted in their family asks their parents about their love for them, do you? This is something that Jesus asked Peter after the resurrection about his love for Him, before He leaves for Heaven: do you?

For better or for worse and do you are burning questions not of emotion, but of devotion. Neither of the above phrases should be used lightly.  Marriage, loving a child, following God or any deep relationship is not for the faint of heart because it takes commitment.  It involves emptying yourself of all but love; it requires a love that is sticky.

Love is the stick-to-it–iveness that glues all of our important relationships together.

Swavel

 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Universal Language


Image result for smiling cat with eyes closed

 Close your eyes and smile at least once a day.  Anonymous

Several years ago at work I happened to pass someone's cubicle door with the above picture hanging on it.  It was accompanied by this caption: close your eyes and smile at least once a day.  Of course, I complied and immediately felt better.

Have you ever heard the saying that it takes more muscles to frown than smile?  The truth is that no one is quite sure if that statement is completely valid or just an old wives' tale.  However, whether smiling uses more muscles or not, it is fair to say that it certainly takes more effort to frown. 
 
With that being said, I believe the best thing about a smile is it’s the ultimate way of saying more by saying less.  Smiling is interpretative and has the power to communicate without saying a blessed word.

For example, twice I have traveled to China and both times I possessed no ability to speak the language.  However, it was amazing to me that even though I could barely order coffee in Chinese, a smile spoke volumes.  When I did try to speak my pathetic version of Chinese I got a lot of laughs and smiles.  It is possible that as they were smiling they were thinking me an idiot, nonetheless I was communicating.

Another great example of a smile is from the movie, A Christmas Carol.  It is at the end when Scrooge comes to visit his nephew for supper after he had just been visited by the three Christmas Ghosts.  He is in the parlor of his nephew’s home as the maid takes his coat.  Scrooge hesitates for a brief moment to open the parlor door because he knows his cantankerous reputation precedes him.  It is then that the kindly maid persuades him to move forward by smiling and bobbing her head as she opens the door.  Ultimately, once inside Scrooge proceeds to ask forgiveness for his past failings and is accepted with open arms by his nephew and wife.

Then there is the song, Sarah Smile, by Hall and Oates. When I hear this song it takes me back to when I was in elementary school and life was much simpler.  If I remember correctly, I believe my friend’s parents liked Hall and Oates and I heard it a lot when I was over at his apartment.  Every time I hear it just makes me happy. It just makes me smile. 

We live in a time when there is so much to frown about it, that unfortunately we tend to focus on the wrong things. So, whether it takes a poster or a movie or a song, it is a good thing to smile. 

We should all speak the universal language of smiling- early, often and daily.

Swavel

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Push Through

Image result for curt schilling bloody sock photo 
 
In a perfect world there would be no pain, however we don’t live in a perfect world.

Here are a few simple facts about pain.  It is messy. It hurts.  It is unavoidable. We all struggle with it.  Pain if monitored can be an excellent motivator.

Regardless of age, we all like to complain about aches and pains, usually pertaining to our body.  To name a few examples: pain in the back, pain in the neck, pain in the shoulder, pain in the ankle. Speaking of the latter, who can forget about Curt Schilling and his epic bloody sock?  It was about ten years ago during a pivotal playoff game when the Boston Red Sox hurler pitched  the game on an ankle with torn ligaments and won the game.  His effort helped to propel the Red Sox on to their first World Series Championship in eighty six years.

However how noble it was for Shilling to push through his physical pain to win a baseball game, mental and emotional pain can be far worse.  In his book, The Problem of Pain, C. S. Lewis makes this profound statement.  God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain…

In my own personal experience I have struggled with such pain in extreme fashion.  In one of the toughest moments of my life I had to choose whether to take someone, whom I loved more than myself, off of life support or not.  Talk about a world of emotional pain and unrest.  Such is when you must struggle with a broken heart, yet God can use it if you let Him.

Since pain can motivate or debilitate, what is the alternative to pain? The apostle Paul said, our goal is to please him. As believers we should be striving to do things that please God not pain Him.  Sadly, we often have our own agenda, something I know well since I am a chief offender.   But, I am trying to embrace this thought: God is with me, not against me.  I need to intentionally be a pleasure to God, not someone who causes him to turn away because it hurts too much to watch.

We can choose to push through the pain or to be overwhelmed by it.

Swavel