Detoured

This may get a bit involved so just stick with me. The other month I had an epiphany that trigged three thoughts: redirect, let go, look forward.

In August, I had dropped my twenty year old son off at the airport so he could fly halfway around the world to South Korea. Jordan and I were departing ways when I turned to leave and took one last glance to see the back of his Cliff Lee Phillies shirt causing me to blink the tears away .

It seemed strange I felt this way because I was glad that he had the opportunity to study abroad. So, for months it eluded me till about a week ago it dawned on me, like a delayed epiphany.  My life has been detoured.

Detour #1: Redirect

To bring you up to speed, I must take you back twelve years. It was 1999, a time when it seemed that I had it all together. I had a job as a limo driver, was in line to one day own the business, had two kids was happily married and planned ultimately to be alone with my wife when the kids moved out. Then something happened, God detoured us.

The two kids I did mention in the above paragraph are now currently out of the house. Yet my wife and I are not alone as our nine year old lives with us and are seeking to expand our family yet again through the adoption of an eight year old.

Often detours take you places you would never go on your own, scary at times, but full of adventure. Our life is not what we had planned; it is much more daring than I would have ever conjured up. My family and I are doing things we never imagined we would or could for that matter. Sometimes God just takes our plans and shreds them into tiny pieces, then he redirects us somewhere different, yet better.

Detour #2: Let Go

Bear with me for a moment as I give you a little background on my son and I. Have you ever been in a no win situation. Many years ago, I was faced with a situation when I had to choose between my eldest son and my daughter who was two years younger. They both needed me desperately at the same precise moment, but I could only be at one place at a time. It seemed terribly unfair to me and in some ways I blamed God. So, for a few years, I carried that weight around, among other things, until I realized some things just happen, no one needs to be blamed. Good comes with the bad, that’s just life, again like a detour you have to go with it or you never recover. Learn from the pain and let it go.

Once, Jordan told me when he was playing high school baseball that I did not need to come because he knew I would be there with him in spirit. God knows what He is doing and even though I can’t always be with my son or any of my kids all the time, He is. And that is enough for me. God has been amazingly wonderful to me and I never deserved one second of it, so my past failures I choose to leave behind me.

Detour #3: Look Forward

I used to take life as it came, but my latest detour has been to adopt God’s way of thinking and look forward and plan ahead. Our adoption has been proceeding along slowly but surely. Since everything has become definite on the adoption, we have chosen a name for our newest daughter. Her Chinese name has “Li” in it pronounced Lee (like on the back of my son’s shirt) and since everyone in our immediate family has the letter “a” in their name we thought it was only fitting she have an “a” too. So we’ve chosen Lia.

My wife and I have quite the eclectic family. We have a son born to us who is residing in Korea, a daughter whose address is Heaven, a daughter who was born in China who is living with us, and a daughter, who is residing in China, who we must wait for till she becomes ours. Yet in all of this craziness, God is blessing us.

Just the other day I realized how blessed I truly am. At one time in my life, I almost lost my entire family and now I am seeking to expand it. From this vantage God looks more than fair. I guess it depends on how you are looking at life or the season of life you are in at the time. I am learning to look forward and adopt God’s way of doing things because He knows better than I do. What I find terribly ironic is what God has for us is much better than what my feeble mind could conceive. What I saw as a detour God saw as opportunity to direct me to his path.

“Don’t think you’re on the right road, just because it’s a well beaten path.” ~ Unknown

Swavel

Adoption Update: We have received our approval of our I800A which is from United States Immigration and Citizenship Services. It took 74 days to receive the approval notice. Now all our paperwork being sent to Harrisburg for state seals and then onto the Chinese Consulate in NY for authentication. This step will take about three weeks. So we wait again....

Not Really

Have you ever dreamed of a white Halloween? I haven’t, not really. But this year two days before Halloween, we got blanketed by a rogue Nor’easter. The kind of snow, the consistency of a Slurpee, that clings to the leaves, branches and electric wires and creates some real havoc. 

We were one of the thousands of families that the storm had left without electric. So the obvious question asked by family and friends was, "is your power back on yet?" Then it was followed up by, "that must be terrible to be without electricity."

Some initial anxieties I had about having enough food,. heat and being in the dark never really materialized. Being without electric for a week was enlightening and made me realize how truly blessed we are.
 
I believe a normal concern most of would have when you lose power is, "will there be enough food?" If you've ever met me in person, immediately you would notice that I could afford to shed a few pounds. So when the fridge and stove were not working, I did have a thought about food. But, between the food in the cupboards, eating out a few times, and being invited over to eat on several other occasions we were just fine. I might have even gained a little weight.

Most of us would be a little apprehensive about not having heat and it was a thought. But, between you and me, we are trying to conserve our oil anyway. In essence, the storm did us a favor to an extent. It was quite chilly some mornings, but during the day there was more than enough sun to keep the temperature comfortable. We subscribed to the theory of putting on an extra sweater or pair of socks and at night we threw more blankets on the bed. So being without heat may not have been my ideal, but was it bad? Not really.

My last concern was being in the dark. I believe being in the dark was a good opportunity for me to empathize, just a little, with my third daughter who is visually impaired. As a light dependent person, I have grown accustomed to slipping on the lights when entering a room. So I cheated and used a camping latern and occasionally felt my way through the dark. And there is nothing like whacking my shin on the end table as a remind of how spoiled I am. So is being in the dark a big deal, not really.

What we experienced for a week was simply a matter of inconvenience, not life or death. We often take for granted our modern day conveniences; like the fridge to keep our food cold, the lights that go on when we flip that switch, and the computer to work so we can check our e-mails. And when those conveniences are taken away, we complain and cry woe is me. Should it be that way? Not really.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Swavel

 

More Than Expected

On October 6^th, 2011 my family and I volunteered to help out Show Hope at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert and experienced far more than what we had signed up for.

The concert, Stories and Songs, was held in Lancaster, PA and featured special guests, Josh Wilson and Andrew Peterson. Our job was to help at the Show Hope table by handing out information to anyone who was interested in learning more about what they do and to assist those who wanted to become sponsors. For those who are not familiar with Show Hope, it an organization started by Steven and his wife, Mary Beth, to help others adopt by way of grants and providing orphans with much needed medical care. The video below explains more about Show Hope.

 

Much to our surprise, since we recently received a grant from Show Hope, we were privileged to meet Steven on stage. This was just the cherry on the top because that evening we experienced far more than we had bargained for.

Here are the 3 things I took away from our experience:

1 - If we can, we need to love and help the orphans.

When we arrived at the concert we met our contact, whose name was Dave Trask. He used to be Steven’s manger and he was quite the guy. Now, he spends his time representing Show Hope and coordinating medical teams to go to China to perform lifesaving surgeries on the children at Maria’s Big House of Hope. He talked fast, moved fast and made things happened. He seemed to thrive well in organized chaos. But, what struck me most about him was how he truly loved the orphans.

Case in point, at the concert was a boy who had been at Maria’s Big House of Hope and had just recently been adopted to a family here in the States. Dave couldn’t stop hugging him and talking to him like he was his own. It was moving. He even took him back to see Steven and was holding him on stage when we met Steven as part of the concert. Some people, talk about loving the least of these, Dave was doing it.

2 - We need to show compassion to others, even total strangers.

Throughout the evening Dave very openly shared with the group about his own life and what he had been through. Then in a one on one conversation he talked to my wife about our personal tragedy and showed tremendous compassion to her. My wife is a very private person yet here she is telling intimate details with a stranger, about something that hurt her deeply. It touched me greatly to see and hear such compassion. Again, so many people talk about caring, but there at that concert we saw it.

3 - We need to show others Jesus in how we act.

After the concert was over and we were done cleaning up, we went to leave and that is when I really saw something unexpected. Out on the sidewalk was Andrew Petersen, one of the artists on the tour, sitting cross legged singing one of his songs with about eight people gathered around him. It just struck me like something Jesus would have done. He was ministering to people’s souls, not putting on a show. It was so intimate that I kept walking not wanting to disturb something so cool.

Sometimes, God just blesses the socks off of us and all we can do is sit back and enjoy it.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." James 1:27

Swavel

Charles Ingalls, I Am Not

Throughout my life, I have admired the fictional character, Charles Ingalls, and secretly hoped one day to be as good or better. You know the kind of guy who is the loving husband and father who always seems to give the right kind of advice and always saves the day. A real man. I now know better.

If I am remembered for only one thing, I hope that it is that I tried to be a good father and husband to those I love. Heaven knows I have some issues. If my wife were honest she would tell you I leave the toilet seat up at times, snore too loud and tend to confuse stories. If you asked my kids, they could tell of times I got them lost in the woods and was rescued by an elderly woman or once how I accidently hit one of them in the face with a basketball. So, I don’t know I how I rate as a dad or husband, but I strive to do my best.

One thing I do though is try to appreciate the little things in life. In the middle of the night I often sneak into my kids’ rooms to hear their heartbeat and listen to them breathing. For a father, like me, the sound is priceless. There is no greater relief for me than to hear those two wonderful sounds. A given for many of us, but not all.

And every morning I wake up my wife before I go to work to say goodbye. There is a regimen; I kiss her three times often stealing a fourth, if I can. Then tell her I love her and promise to be careful as I run out the door. Every day is truly a gift.

We take it for granted that our hearts will always beat, our lungs will always fill with air and we will always have family around. However, these are not givens. So when we do remember these blessings, hundreds of times a day we should pause for a moment and thank God for His goodness. Then do the same thing again tomorrow when we are blessed again, because not everyone has a tomorrow.

In my opinion, a real man ends his conversations with an “I love you” or a kiss to his wife, when it’s appropriate. He tells bedtime stories, reads books and plays games with his kids as often as he can. He is thankful for every heartbeat, every breath. He watches over his family the best he can and is willing to lay down his life for theirs, if necessary. A real man is defined by the love he shows, not by whether or not he matches up with Charles Ingalls.

Swavel

Right Lane Must Turn Right

The other week I had an epiphany, the kind of moment that makes you stop and think. The kind that won’t leave you alone till you act upon it.

Just the other week I had been struggling with what God wanted me to do. I like writing this blog and writing in general, but I am not consistent. So, as I left work and got into my car that night, I decided to go directly to God because it says in Matthew, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you.” Often when I pray, I simply bring requests, but since reading a new book entitled, “A Praying Life,” by Paul Miller, I felt I was just going to be straight up with my heavenly Father with the utmost respect and find out what He wanted me to do.

So, there I was halfway home in a rural area when I asked God to speak to me. I had no idea how God would speak or if He would honor my request at all. After about five to ten minutes of silence, I spoke out loud what was on my heart: I had an overriding feeling that I should start writing more seriously.

I thought, “Okay, now if this is true I need you to show me something to confirm this because I am just so stinking human.” I wanted to write again in His strength, not mine. Then as I came to a turn in the road, I saw a white sign with black letters that read right lane must turn right. We’ve all seen this traffic sign before, but as I approached it this time it seemed to jump out at me. At first I didn’t think much of it, but after a few minutes of prayer and driving I thought back on my desire to write: Writers must write. Since I consider myself at least a quasi-writer, I must write and while I’m at it I need to do it with boldness, determination, and consistency.

We all are faced with moments where we are forced to put up or shut up. So, that afternoon when I listened to God, I knew what I must do. To me, right lane must turn right meant since I consider myself a writer I must write. And even simpler, I must put myself in the right lane, so I can write.

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." ~ Walt Disney

Swavel

Adoption Update:
We are still awaiting our approval from the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services). We hope to receive the approval within the next month.

Queen for a Day

Have you ever felt as worthless as a pawn piece? If you are anything like me, you have. You know the kind of moment that seems so bad that it overrides anything good that has ever happened to you. Well at least for the moment.

The one that most prominently comes to mind happened to me during a very difficult period for my family and I. It was during this period that a friend and I were walking in a hospital parking lot, sharing a candid conversation, when he turned to me and said, “Swavel, we are nothing more than pawns”. It seemed to make perfect sense, because at the time I controlled nothing and felt powerless to have any effect on the outcome at hand. At that particular time, I saw God as the chess master and that He had the power to do whatever He wanted, rightly or indiscriminately, and there was nothing I could do about it. Even though it wasn’t true, from what I could perceive it seemed God did not care. I felt useless.

Now fast forward eleven years to where we are now in our current adoption. On occasion, Amy and I receive e-mails from our adoption agency informing us we have been blessed to receive donations which help defray some of the fees involved in the adoption process. What I felt on those days is pure elation.  I imagine much how winning the Super Bowl may feel. Regardless of the amount, on those days my attitude does a 180, simply because I feel God has heard our prayers and the prayers of many family and friends who are petitioning for us that God work a miracle to bring Lia into our family. On those days, I felt like a pawn that had worked its way across the board and become the most powerful piece on the board, the queen. In layman’s terms queen for a day.

It is especially on those days that I realize how unfair my thinking toward God was. He works both good and bad to his glory. I may be a pawn, but God can turn pawns into queens and do significant things with them. Whether we like it or not, you can’t have the sunshine without the rain.

So it was a couple weeks ago, I had been having a lousy day and both my wife and I were feeling discouraged and frustrated. Then I received an e-mail at work that alerted my wife and I that we had received some donations which we badly needed.  It made me feel so good that I shouted out my car window in joy on the way home. For a moment, I felt useful again.  For a moment, my pawn had become a queen, if only for a day.

“The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them.”  ~ Bernard M. Baruch

Swavel

Good to Go

Instead of taking up five blogs I decided to consolidate them all into one to answer who, what, when, why and how in regard to our adoption. To get to where we want to go, we feel we need to answer these appropriate questions.

Starting in no order in particular, let’s begin with the most commonly asked question, why are we adopting? For our family, adoption seems like an obvious answer because we have room and love to share with a child that needs a family. There’s a passage in James that says, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress……”.  In short, we believe we need to personally care for the orphans.

Who is a good example to follow when it comes to loving little children? Jesus set the best example in Mark 9:36-37, when He said, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.’” We are all called to do different things and we believe, for us, it would be wrong to overlook the child God has put before us.

How difficult is it to adopt? Adoption is not an easy journey and there are plenty of challenges along the way, but we realize we have an amazing opportunity to share in the life of a child and as a result change all of our lives in ways we could never imagine. The best things in life often take the most effort to achieve.

What should we do while we wait? We feel waiting is where faith comes in. We believe, that although we dislike it at times, it is often in times of uncertainty that God is able to best speak into our lives. Of course, we have questions like how will she feel about leaving her entire life (familiar people, things, foods, smells, etc.) behind to come live with strangers?  How will it change our lives having someone new in our family?  Will we be able to cover the next round of fees the are coming due? And the list could go on. God seems to take these moments to teach us the necessary lessons we need to learn to be better followers of Him, better people and the best parents we can be.


When will you bring your child home? This can be the most maddening question to answer, because we don’t know for sure. But, this we do know is that it will be in God’s perfect timing and not a minute too soon or a minute too late. So, with all that said we are good to go.

“I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to be nobody to no one.” ~ Mother Teresa

Be About

Nuts and bolts time. What are we about? How about a literal who, what, when where and how in regard to adoption?

So, the next 5 blogs will be about adoption. But let’s start with what motivates my wife and I to adopt. I believe we are only being about our Father’s business.

Remember when Jesus was about twelve and lost in the temple? When Joseph and Mary found him, he told them not to worry he was just being about His Father’s business.

As followers of Christ we were adopted into His family. We did nothing to be a part of His family. It doesn’t make any human sense as to why God would go to such great measures to share eternity with us. Yet that is exactly what He has done, He has given us the chance to be in God’s forever family.

What God has done for me motivates me to share my love with others. Like God we have more love to give, so we want to give it away. My hope is to simply try and follow Jesus’ example by being about my Father’s business.

Romans 8:15b-17a, “…the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ…”

Update on the adoption: Currently we are waiting for US immigration approval for our initial paperwork and the wait time is approximately 2 ½ months.

Swavel

Our Crazy Train

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove. But the world may be different, because I was important in the life of a child.” - Forest Witcraft 

When our family began our adoption adventure, nearly two years ago, we never expected to be living so very far outside our comfort zone. We now refer to our journey as 'the crazy train'. Often we would doubt whether it could ever take place, then God gave us this verse, "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed."

It has taken us quite some time, but we have finally finished the beginning adoption paperwork and formalities. Just recently we received pre-approval to adopt an 8 year old little girl named Lia and here is some of what's been shared with us about her:

"Lia is a very delightful girl. Her spirit can't be captured with mere words, maybe it's the way she can melt a heart by simply being a child. She has a mischievous streak and often tries to charm her way out of discipline. Her smile is just adorable, she loves to laugh, and is very intelligent. She is lively and independent despite her limited vision. She brings us much joy."

We love this picture because it shows her loving life with the carefree spirit of a child. Honestly, we feel privileged to have the opportunity to share our lives with her as we realize how, all too quickly, a treasure can vanish.

Recently, we had a direct answer to prayer when we applied for and received a grant which will cover a portion of the adoption expenses. Without God's help, we know we would not be this far in the adoption process. We believe that God wants us to continue working toward bringing Lia into our family. So we are asking that you would pray for us as we move forward in this journey.

Practically speaking, even after the grant money is applied, the outstanding fees are well beyond what we can raise on our own. Many of you have already been a part of this process and we are grateful for your involvement and wanted to keep you updated on our progress. For those who would like to assist us in our efforts to adopt Lia by way of a gift, you may send it to (with a note asking they designate the funds to the account for Aaron & Amy Swavely): 

Living Hope Adoption Agency
Attn: Aimee Connell
PO Box 579
Fort Washington, PA 19034-3414

Please feel free to share our journey with a friend who may want to join us in our adoption adventure and thank you for taking a moment to join us on 'the crazy train'.

~Aaron (Swavel) & Amy

When Faith Believes...

The upcoming blog has been almost two years in the making. Quite frankly, my wife and I wanted to adopt soon after we brought our daughter, Sianna, home from China which was eight years ago. We had more love to give, but we just couldn’t see that it was possible. So we waited and prayed. Then about two years ago, God made it abundantly clear that the right time had come. The resources weren’t available, but if we waited we would never go through with the adoption, so we stepped out in faith.

Well, the rest is explained in the next blog. Until then here is a quote from the famous holocaust survivor, Corrie Ten Boom, “Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible.”

Swavel

Cabin Fever

There are certain times in life when we all need a little reminder to look forward instead of backwards. Fortunately for me, mine came from a kind soul by the name of Sandra Aldrich.

It was about seven years ago when I met her at a writer’s conference in Colorado. She had been assigned a table for the sole purpose of encouraging aspiring writers before they presented their works to editors from publishing houses. Sandra is diverse talent in that she is a speaker, writer, and was senior editor for Focus on the Family and has a knack for being pleasantly honest. I remember her crying with me after she read “The Wedding” which speaks of the loss of my daughter. She then revealed to me that she had lost her husband, Don, to cancer some twenty years before, when her two children were not yet teenagers.

Later that weekend, she asked me to sit at her table for dinner and shared a story with me that changed my perspective and helped me turn a corner. She could sense that I was still not over the loss of my daughter because I felt as if God was nowhere to be seen and had forgotten about me, causing me not to be able to move forward. It was then she shared a story with me about her son who was seriously ill when he was young. So in an effort to ease his pain she gave him a bath, but he was still inconsolable so instead of comforting him with words, she wrapped him in a towel and just held him in her arms. She then turned to me and said Aaron, “that is what God is doing with you right now, He has just wrapped His arms around you and is holding you tight.” Her words made sense to me because that was the only action I could understand.

Since then I talk to her several times a year via e-mail, because I cherish her wisdom and wit so much. There is something very admirable about Sandra and the way she lives her life with a forward thinking mentality. So, about a year ago I asked her for a picture of her husband so I could hang it on my Remember Me wall in my cubicle at work as a way of honoring Sandra. In the picture her husband, Don, is smiling, while he has an arm around his preteen son and daughter. Meanwhile, in the background hangs a paper butterfly on the front door barely visible to the human eye. He passed away from cancer months later leaving Sandra without a husband and the kids without a dad. When I look at this picture, I am struck by how like the butterfly, Sandra chose to make good out of a very difficult situation and pressed forward through the pain, like a caterpillar does. Sandra will not tell you this but she is a very special and rare person, because she doesn’t look back and blame the past. Every time I see her husband, Don, smile I am inspired not to give up.

Just recently Sandra shared this e-mail with me:

What fun to think about our eternity to catch up on stories in heaven. And I'll get to meet your sweet little girl and you can meet my husband. If you need directions to my place, my human mind offers these: My cabin is way in the back, set against a green hillside, and surrounded by flowering dogwood trees and eternally blooming violets.

Life can be hard, but as my friend, Sandra, has taught me, it never hurts at times to have little cabin fever and know there are better things, people and places to see and enjoy.

“Often, the best way to look at life is through the front windshield, not the rear view mirror.” ~ Steve Karabatos

Swavel

Nine Innings

The other day, I dusted this article off and found it was appropriate for a warm day just begging for nine innings to be played on it. Baseball is a way of redemption for me that allows me to reminisce, enjoy the present and ponder the future all at the same time. It was written some seven years ago, so keep in mind this was the spring of 2004.

1st Inning
“My son plays third base,” I proudly exclaim to any of my friends who would ask. Jordan is thirteen and playing baseball for his school. Quite frankly, I’m just thrilled that he can walk and the fact that he plays any type of position is a bonus. Only four years, before I wasn’t even sure if he would live or even survive after he sustained injuries in a car accident. Lucky dad.

2nd Inning
I can remember this past spring at one of his games as he came to the plate and after a few pitches he swung and connected and the ball sailed over the left fielder’s head. I was so proud of him. In my mind, it was a miracle he was even alive and now he was running. Deep inside me, as I waved him into second from the first base coach’s box, all I could think about was that’s my kid. Proud dad.

3rd Inning
It was just the other month that I was reading an article about a teenage baseball player who had suffered a serious injury affecting his ability to play for which the father blamed himself. Before the accident, both his parents held out such high hopes that one day he might be a professional ball player. As I read the article further, it was quite apparent that the parents were not dealing well with the loss of this dream as the mother blamed the father and the father felt absolutely guilty. Meanwhile, the son continued to attempt to play but was rendered less than ordinary. Trying to find a bright spot the article ended with the boy stating that if baseball did not work out his second choice would be the computer field. Distressed dad. Smart kid.

4th Inning
A few years ago I was attending one of my son’s fall baseball games. During the game the pitcher on the other team was struggling and the coach, who happened to be his dad, went out to discuss the situation with his son. What transpired next still perplexes me to this day. The father was quite upset and became very enraged with the situation and asked for his son to hand him the ball. The son flung the ball in anger in the dad’s general direction. The boy then proceeded to run as fast as his fifth grade legs would carry him into right field. Subsequently, the father used a few choice words and insulted his son’s manhood and proceeded back into the dugout. Misguided dad.

5th Inning
In my own personal baseball career, my dad never coached me on any of my teams, but as far back as I can recall he has come to almost every game I have ever been in. My most cherished memory is just playing catch with my dad in the backyard as a kid. He would usually say, when asked, that he didn’t have the time, but if I would get his baseball glove out of the bottom of his closet he would try to fit it in. The way my dad made time for me was more important to me than whether I was any good at the sport. Discerning dad.

6th Inning
A couple of weeks ago, I finally experienced something that I had never done in my entire softball career. I hit a homerun over the outfield fence. It felt good but not as fantastic as I thought it would. About 45 minutes later, the sky got very dark and because of the threat of lightning the umpire postponed the game. So, as I drove home under the gray conditions I felt somewhat mixed emotions. I was happy, but disappointed because my son and family were not there to witness the event. Funny how some things don’t seem as important if you don’t have your family there to share it. Melancholy dad.

7th Inning
A friend and fellow softball player once told me something very profound that I have never forgotten. We were talking after a softball game in which we suffered a heart breaking loss. It was a game we should have won by all rights, but due to the fact that it was too dark to see we could have rightfully protested and probably gotten the win. But as Rob and I sat there on that wooden bench we did not discuss such things. I can remember Rob turning to me, “well at least you still have your family to go home to.” Those words hit me right up the middle of my heart. Wise dad.

8th Inning
All Abner Doubleday did was to invent a game that consisted of four bases, a round object and a stick, for this, he is lauded as the father of baseball. Yet, a dad has the ability to do something of much greater importance. For instance, every time a dad takes his child fishing, to a movie, reads a book to them, takes them to a ballgame, or plays a video game with them he is creating a moment of significance in their life. By putting yourself on their level, you show genuine interest that will stand the test of time. Thoughtful dad.

9th Inning
Needless to say, the position my son plays or the fact that he plays baseball is not important at all. I am proud of Jordan because he is my son and have been since the first moment I cradled him in my arms and became his dad. Quite frankly, I’m just thrilled that he can walk and the fact that he plays any type of position is a bonus. And if you ask me now, I would gladly tell you with a big grin, “My son plays anywhere they need him.” Ecstatic dad.

“Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.” ~ Author Unknown

Simply yours, Swavel

Smell the Coffee

What I love about coffee is it is part sedative, part motivator, and now part fund raiser all at the same time.

The reason I started this blog last May was to raise awareness about the adoption my family and I were pursuing at the time. Adoption is not for the faint at heart because it takes a continuous effort of filling out paperwork, meeting the country’s criteria, and paying fees when they become due. Overall, a very overwhelming process in which you can easily lose focus and heart. Yet, when the end result is finally realized, it becomes well worth the fight.

So, if the spirit leads, there is an interesting way for you to join us in our adoption journey. It’s real simple and you needn’t even leave your house. Just sit back in your computer chair, click on the JUST LOVE icon and purchase a bag of coffee. When you do my family gets $5 sent directly to our adoption agency, so everybody wins. You get a great cup of coffee and we get closer to bringing a child to their forever home.

I know a small thing like this may appear to have little effect on the big picture, but I disagree and so does Jesus. He said in Matthew 10:42, “And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.”

That reminds me of the time this past winter when God used this verse on me. I was at a local Wal-Mart and it must have been about twenty degrees outside when I walked past the Salvation Army guy going in and then fifteen minutes later, walked past his partner on the way out. Earlier that day, I asked God to use me and the answer now seemed obvious. If I could not give out cold water, how about hot coffee for two freezing guys who were doing something noble. Somehow, their simple thank you and God bless you did more to warm my reluctant heart than the coffee actually did in warming them. It felt right to act on something instead of just driving away and thinking, “oh well, they’ll be warm soon enough,” when I possessed the ability to change their situation instantly.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” ~Aesop

Swavel

No Mere Words

Someone once commissioned me to explain the differing emotions families experience when involved in ‘the gift of life’ (organ donation). How do you properly capture the sentiment of such a powerfully emotional event? The deep agony and heartache endured by one family and yet, on the other side there must be joy and elation, mixed with some apprehension. For years, I have tried to sum it up without success because there simply are no mere words in the modern dictionary to sum it up. But, because I am a parent of a donor, here is my best attempt.

Easter best sums it up. Imagine on Good Friday, two thousand years ago, how God the Father must have felt when He looked down at His Son, Jesus, being tortured, beaten, and mistreated, just so we could have a relationship with Him. The Father signed off on His Son so all the Universe could have the gift of eternal life. It was so painful God the Father turned away. It is my belief God choose to do what had to be done, regardless of how much it would cost, knowing that some would reject his gift, He did it anyway, even though we did nothing to be worthy of such a gift.

If you have the ability to save a life within your grasp or increase the quality of someone’s life, you should do it. Take the opportunity to give in such a way that you cannot be thanked, like the God the Father gave us through Jesus on Good Friday. Give where there are no mere words to thank you, just simply because if you were the parent of a child who needed that organ you would want someone to do the same for you. As I write this, it still hurts when I think of the pain it caused my family and I to give, but I take some comfort now in the fact that another family did not have to mourn that day because of my daughter’s precious gift. To this day, I still marvel at the strength my wife displayed in honoring my decision despite the pain it personally caused her.

Actually, what drove me most to allow my daughter to be donor was she loved to give and I believed she needed to leave with dignity doing something she loved. I had chosen to be an organ donor on my driver’s license for years before the accident and believed so much in it that if it was good enough for me it was good enough to allow my daughter to do the same.

The gift of life, for me, at least ultimately, is all about getting an opportunity to help another human being, although there is no guarantee that the organs will even take. So, we need not lose heart if the recipient’s body rejects the organs. Life is messy and doesn’t always work the way we would like. As a donor’s parent I don’t want to put undue pressure on those who receive organs that can be an overbearing weight. I never met my daughter’s recipients, in part, because they have the right to live their life without pressure from me.

One day I hope to find the words to express my sincere thanks when I see my Savior face to face. Maybe I will have no mere words, but at least I can simply mouth a thank you. Until that day, I hope to live my life in such a way to show my eternal gratitude for what the God of the Universe did for me and all of us that remarkable weekend so many years ago.

“God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” ~ Voltaire

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The Wedding

This week is particularly bittersweet because it marks what would be my daughter, Alisha’s, 18th birthday. Although, she is not here, I have discovered it is best to choose to be happy for her where she now resides. Read further and you’ll see what I mean.

As any father can attest, the idea of your daughter’s wedding is tremendously bittersweet. Alisha’s day had arrived. She had given her heart to another man and it wasn’t long after he asked her to stay with him forever.

She was too young, I thought, along with so many other reasons why she was not ready. Truthfully, I was the one who was unprepared for the changes about to take place. It was undeniably painful, but I couldn’t let my feelings get in the way for this was the beginning of something beautiful for her.

There are so many moments I would miss and countless memories to cherish. Gone were the days when she would greet me, as I would come home from work. I could picture those mischievous blue eyes and her untamed tawny-brown hair, tousled from yet another day of child’s play. I would miss our spontaneous car ride conversations, our evening walks, and the nights I would gently hug her until she drifted off to sleep. These simple pleasures of everyday life had become memories all too soon. It wasn’t about me however, I had to think of her, her and the groom.

Accepting my relationship with my daughter would change was heart wrenching, but I took comfort in these special memories. Hesitant as I was to relinquish my position as the man in her life, I knew it was right and was willing. Every detail of the day is etched into my mind permanently and indelibly as if it were cut into stone.

In a quiet moment before the ceremony, she looked especially beautiful to me as I glanced down at her and summoned the courage to give her away. In that quiet time, I shared my heart with her, some secrets only a father can share with his princess.

The wedding was about to begin. Alisha was ready and as her Dad, I had to rise to the occasion. I managed to share a story and a song just for her, although it wasn’t a perfect performance. Tears were mingled with the words, but I knew she loved it just as it was. So, with tears streaming down my cheeks, I kissed her and simply said, "I love you, Alisha", as I gave her hand to the awaiting groom.

After the ceremony, I caught a glimpse of my daughter and the groom, with so many around them waiting to celebrate. She looked my way and waved to me as my little girl always did when she would ride on the train at the mall, with each pass. It was a rare glimpse of heaven.

Before the day was over, I was congratulated and comforted by the guests present for the wedding. I was preparing to leave when a gift was handed to me by one of her attendants. It was from my daughter. She had selected something special for me, from her heart to mine. The flood of emotions I thought I had restrained with such poise on this special day were now uncontrollable. She was now and would forever be my little girl.

As I revisit the events of the day, the bride was absolutely radiant as she had always dreamed she would be on her special day and the groom, he was impeccable. He loved her unconditionally and he would cherish her like no other could. Alisha’s groom gave her everything she could ever hope for; He gave her eternal life. My little girl was just seven years old the day I gave her hand to Jesus.

White Out

Apparently, there is something wrong with me because yesterday I saw a chance of snow on the weather forecast and it caused me to sigh. Whenever I see snow, I want to say I enjoy it, but instead I find it rather a nuisance.

When I was a kid, I used to love the stuff and the benefits it would bring, such as snow days. I lived for the moment; you know the one, when the radio announcer would call out your school’s name so you could have the day off. Few feelings can compete with the moment of elation a snow day brings, if, just for a moment.

Unfortunately, I no longer feel the same love for snow, but rather a disdain for it. I believe it stems from the fact that now it causes me the work of shoveling it, to be precise, a whole 100 foot worth of driveway and then some. Not to mention after the shoveling, the accompanying pain in my back, shoulders, and other parts of my body that hurt. Then, there is the hazard of driving in it. No offense to my fellow human being, but snow tends to bring out the idiots, me, being one of them at times.

Perhaps, my dislike started years ago when I was about nineteen, and just learning to drive. There was an inch of slush on the road and my dad offered to take me and my girlfriend to Burger King, but I blew him off. I was a grown-up and could do it myself. An hour later, I wasn’t feeling so grown-up when I panicked, and locked up the brakes of my 1975 Dodge Dart slidding off the road into some brush. To make matters worse, a complete stranger offered to pull me out with his pick-up truck, but couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t tear off my bumper. And if that wasn’t enough, when my girlfriend and her sisters found out about my dilemma, they couldn’t stop laughing. I can still here it now, “you did what?!”

Maybe snow isn’t the problem here at all, maybe I am. Snow, in its basic form is harmless and almost mystical, as it falls majestically from the sky. Since I can’t get rid of it, I’ll just have to learn to deal. Perhaps, the greatest lesson I believe we all can learn from snow is this: if you can’t control it, at least you can make snow men out of it.

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”  ~ Carl Reiner

Swavel

In Search Of

Music has a magical way of transporting us back in time.

For instance, at work I have a cassette tape of an old U2 song that always brings back good memories. When I hear the song “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for,” I am taken back to a summer night in 1988. I was in Baltimore to watch an Orioles’ game against the Texas Rangers with my then girlfriend (now wife) and brother. The game was awful and both teams were changing pitchers like there was no tomorrow.

It had become so bad that the highlight of the game was when a cat had run onto the field. Soon after, one of the teams was making a pitching change and as the discouraged pitcher left the game with his head down you could hear U2 appropriately singing over the P.A. system, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” No sooner did those words fill the air than a disgruntled fan stood up and appropriately yelled, “put the cat in.” I imagine it couldn't have done any worse.

This reminds me of another summer night in 1999. I was pitching for the men’s church softball team and I couldn’t find the plate. I, however, was not in jeopardy of being yanked, simply because we had no one else, but I almost committed a bigger blunder. In between one of the innings, I was greeted by my then six year old daughter who wanted to cheer up her dad. In her hand she had a bag of red Swedish fish and on her face a big smile, “Daddy would you like some fish?” In my frustration I said, “no” because I wanted to be left alone and then she started to cry.

I am not an overtly intelligent man, but every father knows that when your daughter cries you should listen and remedy the situation. So, of course, I told her I had changed my mind and those fish sure sounded good. Her tears suddenly dried up and a smile appeared as I popped those fish into my mouth. Strange, I can’t remember the outcome of the game or if my pitching even improved, because the next spring as I mentioned before my daughter passed away. The lesson I learned that summer night is that people are always more important than how you feel. On that evening, I didn’t find what I was looking for, instead I found something better.

“You can find whatever you're looking for, so decide what you're looking for.” ~ Seth Eisenberg

Swavel

Every Now and Then

Every now and then we are reminded of what utter devastation truly looks like. This is how I felt on March 11th when Japan was hit by a devastating tsunami.

About a week ago, my wife and I watched an unbelievable video clip of a town in Japan that was hit full force by the tsunami. At first it was just a trickle, then a stream, then a river, then a moving wall of water. It took under five minutes for the full devastation to take place. Cars were being moved around like match boxes, boats were zooming by as they crashed into buildings and houses were becoming unhinged as the water’s massive power did whatever it willed. Here one minute, gone the next. It just defied logic.

It is amazing how one incident can alter the lives of so many. The number of people who have been confirmed dead or listed as missing in Japan has reached 20,000 people and is expected to climb even higher. If this wasn’t enough, still looming is the threat of radiation from the storm that ravaged the nuclear plant in Fukushima. Just a few days ago, I read of three scenarios and now of them appeared to be favorable.

The heartache is unfathomable. There is a story of one woman who escaped the rushing water, but lost grip of her daughter’s hand and has not found her since. Yet, I have seen a nation from what I can gather is handling an awful situation with grace and dignity. According to a news account, the Japanese in the waning days voluntarily turned off the electricity in an effort to conserve power. There were also reports of how the displaced people stood patiently in lines to receive rations and generally appeared to be thinking of others.

Tragedy can bring out the worst and best in people. “But we must keep on living,” said one citizen. Another survivor said, “I have come to realize what is important in life.”

For whatever reason, after we witness something so traumatic it always seems to make us stop and think. Every now and then we are reminded how truly fragile life can be and how in an instant it can all be taken away.

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~ Frederick Keonig

Swavel

Close to Our Hearts

In a nutshell, this is why we feel called to adopt.

'For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ ~Matthew 25:36-40

Matter of Trust

God can. I can’t. God’s willing. I’m hesitant.

The above statement was a self-assessment I made about a month ago, not one I'm proud of, but I believe can have a happy ending .

Allow me to elaborate on the word, trust, which happens to be synonomous with the words rest assured, full confidence, and rely completely. So, here is the way God works with trust, if we don’t trust in Him 100% then we don’t trust him at all because he who hesitates is lost. With that thought in mind, there was a time when I was under the false impression that I completely trusted in God.

On April 29th, 2000, that guise disappeared when I received the news that my entire family had been in a car accident and that all 3 members of my family were being taken to 3 separate hospitals. .

As I was riding to my wife’s hospital, I started quoting Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” It was always so easy to quote before, but now it had become difficult to live. Later that night at my daughter’s bedside where she lay in a coma, God and I had it out. I told God to take me instead of my daughter or if he had to take her I needed a purpose for all this. All I heard in response was, “Do you trust me, Aaron? Do you trust me?’’

You see God has never changed, just my perception of Him. Throughout history many who followed God suffered, were persecuted, and some were martyred. My perception was if I did want God wanted, things would always work out for me. So when I got frustrated with God, it was my problem not God’s. He never hid the fact that there would be times when things would not go my way and there would be no explanation, just God asking me to trust Him.

Lately, I have been talking with God and this is what I have heard, “I will not fully invest in you, until you fully invest me.” God does what He wants, well He’s God. If I want to be aboard furthering His Kingdom, it’s His way or the highway. What I’m trying to do now is to get involved in what God wants me to do and then I can rest assured that I can trust Him. Anything else is just an epic failure waiting to happen.

I don’t have to trust Him, He doesn’t force me, but if I don’t it’s my loss because complete trust in God is a prerequisite. I agree with C. S. Lewis in the Chronicles of Narnia when he spoke of the God type character, Aslan, the Lion, “He's not safe, but He's good.”

So, as a matter of trust, I would like to alter my thought of a month ago. God can. I can't. God's willing. I'm with Him.

Swavel

Every Fan

This is a lark I know, but I entered a contest sponsored by Major League Baseball called “Dream Job” where the winner gets to report on baseball every single day for the entire season. Don’t laugh too hard, here it is:

Hi, my name is Swavel and welcome to Major League Baseball’s first edition of Every Fan.

Baseball is a game of redemption. I know what it’s like to lose because in my first 2 seasons of Little League my team lost every single game. Then in my third year, I caught a fly ball in right field that won the game. As I watched the All Star game that same evening, I can remember feeling like a million bucks with the game ball still in my hand. For one night, I felt like an all star too.

Baseball is a game that brings families together. My first date, with my wife, was to Baltimore to watch Cal Ripken and the Orioles play the Detroit Tigers. I, also, fondly remember my dad taking the time to play catch with me and come to my games and now, I in turn, have taken every chance to do the same with my kids. If I am to win this dream job, it would go a long way in helping my family and I bring our third daughter home through adoption. I firmly believe that everyone and I mean everyone should have a family.

Baseball is full of stories: from the past, present and future. Who can forget Lou Gehrig’s “Luckiest man Alive” speech or Carlton Fisk waving his home run fair or George Brett going ballistic over the pine tar incident or my favorite moment form the past, Cal Ripken breaking Lou Gehrig’s consecutive game mark.

Baseball is full of current stories as well. Since I work and live in the Philadelphia area, my “Plead the Fifth” segment will chronicle every pitch the 2011 Phillies rotation makes. Then, there will be a piece called “Getting it Right” that will focus on a different player every day. And of course, there will be the daily highlights and scores from around the league, called “Need to Know.”

Baseball is full of stories waiting to unfold before our eyes. Who knows what could happen this year? Will Zach Greinke be unhittable again now that he is with the Brewers? Will the Giants defend their title? Will A-Rod regain his old form? Will the Phillies play the Red Sox in the Series? Will Miguel Cabrera be able to succeed despite himself? I don’t know, but I would love to find out all this and more, together with you every single night.

So, here at Every Fan I promise you this, a season you will not soon forget.

Plead the Fifth

The electricity is so thick in the city of brotherly love these days that if Ben Franklin were to fly his kite he would likely be struck dead within seconds. This 2011 MLB season, we have the privilege to witness something exceptional; a Phillies’ starting rotation that gives them a legitimate chance to win every single night.

What Reuben Amaro, Jr. has assembled in Philadelphia this year may be unparallel to what any fan has ever seen. In my forty-three years, I have never laid eyes on a starting rotation with so much fire power and ability to dominate. Take your pick, any one of the top four pitchers could win the Cy Young and their fifth starter could easily win comeback player of the year. The only staff assembled in recent memory even comparable was the Atlanta Braves of the early 1990’s comprised of Maddux, Glavine, Avery, and Smoltz.

In a city renowned for the Liberty Bell, soft pretzels, and cheese steaks, Philadelphia now can lay claim to the “Philthy” Five, gunslingers come to town with a quiet resolve, unwilling to leave until business is settled.

Let’s start with two-time and reigning Cy Young award winner Roy “Doc” Halladay, who won 21 games last year, while becoming only the second man to throw a perfect game and no hitter in the same season. In his thirteen year career, he has 169 wins, 3.32 ERA and 1714 K’s which suggest we can expect more of the same this year. Then there is the 2008 Cy Young winner Cliff Lee, who in his nine year career, has compiled 102 career wins and won 12 games last year with 185 K’s while only walking 18. Not to mention has been dominating in the playoffs the last two years. If that wasn’t enough there is Roy Oswalt who has compiled a solid ten year career with 150 career wins, a 3.18 ERA, 1666 K’s, and was 7-1 with a 1.74 ERA in 13 appearances after the Phillies acquired him on July 29th last year. To make it even more mind numbing, take Phils’ former #1 starter and 2008 World Series MVP, Cole Hamels, who won 12 games and struck out 211 batters last year and in his five year career has 60 wins, 3.53 ERA, and 897 K’s. Rounding out the staff is 2008 World Series Game 4 hero and dark horse, Joe Blanton, who just two years ago won 12 games and in his seven year career has won 72 games with 777 K’s and a 4.30 ERA.

It is not too far fetched to believe, barring injuries, that the top four pitchers could all win 15 games and Blanton could easily win 10.

If the gaudy numbers are not enough take this intangible into consideration: loyalty. In a day and age where athletes seldom share the stage, during their first interview together the Phillies' pitchers required it. With an all for one, one for all mentality, the four ballyhooed aces insisted the nearly forgotten Joe Blanton be included in the interview or else.

So, my suggestion for the 2011 MLB season is to simply plead the fifth and watch history unfold before our eyes as we watch a staff that prefers to let their arms do the talking.

“Good pitching will beat good hitting any time.” ~Bob Veale, 1966

Sincerely yours, Swavel

Dream Wisely

Everyone wants to be the next Bill Gates or, in my case, the next Stephen King. Yet, no one wants to take credit for turning ketchup green or inventing New Coke.

This reminds me of a man named Charles Ponzi, who has become notorious for one of histories biggest “get rich quick” scandals.

Ponzi was born in Italy in 1882 and at the age of 21 left to find his fortune in North America. He first landed in Boston and then moved to Canada, but because of fraudulent behavior spent a few sordid years in jail. Always on the move, he developed tremendous survival skills. Eventually, he left Canada for the United States and as was his tendency, got caught up in an elaborate scheme to bring illegal aliens into the country resulting in more prison time. However, though difficult to fathom, there was another side to Ponzi, the swindler, who would lend aid to those in need. For example, in Canada he helped a poor family get back on their feet and on another occasion, gave 50 inches of his own skin for a burn victim.

By late 1919, Ponzi, ever clever and charismatic, had now constructed a legal scheme of buying and selling International Reply Coupons that could earn him 230% profit, before expenses, on every $1. He soon began to entice thousands of investors with the promise of 50% return on their investment in 45 days. Over the next seven months, Ponzi collected roughly $8 million which is approximately $100 million today.

His success was fleeting and by August 1920, the government had caught up to him as they proved that Ponzi had been repaying investors with money from more recent investors and was arrested. The move had long been called "Robbing Peter to Pay Paul," but would henceforth be known as a “Ponzi Scheme”. Convicted, he was sentenced to five years in federal prison, spending the rest of his life in and out of jail. At one point in his later life, he returned to Italy to swindle Mussolini’s government and was forced to flee to South America. Ultimately, he died penniless in a Brazilian charity hospital, a dreamer without a good exit strategy and a penchant for taking other people’s money.

He once said of himself, "I landed in this country with $2.50 in cash and $1 million in hopes, and those hopes never left me." So let us make no pretenses about Ponzi, he was a notorious con man and someone who took horrible advantage of others. But, I believe, he is someone we all can learn a great deal.

For instance:
-Success gained improperly is failure
-Don’t take shortcuts.
-Make right choices every day
-Always remain honest
-Never lend your name to a scandal
-Dream wisely

“What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient” - Bodie Thoene

Swavel

Do Diligence

A few months ago, someone shared something very intriguing with me and ever since I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The word is DILIGENCE. It’s interesting how it not only applies to my present situation, but also currently sums me up as an individual.

My friend discovered this fascinating word while he was reading in Proverbs 12:27 in the New King James Version of the Bible. “The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting, but diligence is man’s precious possession.” Intrigued by the verse, he looked it up on-line and found this definition: “constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind.”

So, here is my take after the research. The Creator of the Universe has given me something exquisite (diligence) and I better put all my heart and soul into using this precious possesion in whatever tasks He gives me. At this time in my life, it is especially important to stay the course as my family and I pursue another adoption. Often in my life, my efforts have been wishy- washy or persistent for a while until the going got tough and then eventually give in. But now, it's time to demand better. My belief is there is a girl out there that needs our family and as head of that family I must be willing to pay due diligence till we bring her home.

The act of diligence is not usually something I would consider to be a great gift like faith, hope or love, but maybe I just had it wrong. In my present experience, diligence is what makes the other three possible.

"No action, no change. Limited action, limited change. Lots of action - Change occurs." - Catherine Pulsifer

Sincerely Yours, Swavel

Undeniable Bond

There is an undeniable bond that exists between a father and his son. When the son really needs his father to do something, he simply does it. So when my son sent me a text asking me when I was going to update my blog, I felt obligated to start again.

History backs me up on the fact that when a son needs his dad, he’s there for him.

For example, during the 1992 Summer Olympics a son and his father accomplished something far better than winning a gold medal. Derek Redmond came into the games representing the USA favored to win the 400 meters until fate intervened halfway through the event. As he attempted to turn the corner, he tore his hamstring and fell to the track in agony. Refusing to give up, he got back up and began to valiantly hop toward the finish line. His dad then appeared putting his arm around his son holding his weight while they walked together. His father only released him so he could then finish the final few meters for himself. Derek and his father reminded me of that undeniable bond and how a dad knows what he must do.

Who can forget the time in the 1980 Winter Olympics as the USA Men’s Hockey Team stunned the favored Russians in what we now refer to as, “The Miracle on Ice”. But bigger than the upset, I remember the goalie, Jim Craig, being draped in the American flag after the team won the gold medal, mouthing the words, “Where is my father?” The significance being, Craig had depended on his father for the previous three years after his mom had died and now in his greatest moment as an athlete, he needed to share it with his dad. Even in victory, a son desires his dad’s shoulder to lean on, to be accepted by the person he respects most.

Lastly, in my own personal life, although I was never an Olympian, star athlete, or a celebrity, my dad was there for me when I needed him. Whether he was supporting me by coming to my ballgames with my mom, offering to take my place when I was seriously ill, or telling me he was proud of me when I needed to hear it most. My dad has proved to be someone I can rely on when I need him most.

So, this is for you, Jordan, I will do my best to be a shoulder to lean on and a writer who can offer support, even when I don’t know exactly what you might need.

“It is a wise father that knows his own child.”

My son’s dad, Swavel