There are certain times in life when we all need a little reminder to look forward instead of backwards. Fortunately for me, mine came from a kind soul by the name of Sandra Aldrich.
It was about seven years ago when I met her at a writer’s conference in Colorado. She had been assigned a table for the sole purpose of encouraging aspiring writers before they presented their works to editors from publishing houses. Sandra is diverse talent in that she is a speaker, writer, and was senior editor for Focus on the Family and has a knack for being pleasantly honest. I remember her crying with me after she read “The Wedding” which speaks of the loss of my daughter. She then revealed to me that she had lost her husband, Don, to cancer some twenty years before, when her two children were not yet teenagers.
Later that weekend, she asked me to sit at her table for dinner and shared a story with me that changed my perspective and helped me turn a corner. She could sense that I was still not over the loss of my daughter because I felt as if God was nowhere to be seen and had forgotten about me, causing me not to be able to move forward. It was then she shared a story with me about her son who was seriously ill when he was young. So in an effort to ease his pain she gave him a bath, but he was still inconsolable so instead of comforting him with words, she wrapped him in a towel and just held him in her arms. She then turned to me and said Aaron, “that is what God is doing with you right now, He has just wrapped His arms around you and is holding you tight.” Her words made sense to me because that was the only action I could understand.
Since then I talk to her several times a year via e-mail, because I cherish her wisdom and wit so much. There is something very admirable about Sandra and the way she lives her life with a forward thinking mentality. So, about a year ago I asked her for a picture of her husband so I could hang it on my Remember Me wall in my cubicle at work as a way of honoring Sandra. In the picture her husband, Don, is smiling, while he has an arm around his preteen son and daughter. Meanwhile, in the background hangs a paper butterfly on the front door barely visible to the human eye. He passed away from cancer months later leaving Sandra without a husband and the kids without a dad. When I look at this picture, I am struck by how like the butterfly, Sandra chose to make good out of a very difficult situation and pressed forward through the pain, like a caterpillar does. Sandra will not tell you this but she is a very special and rare person, because she doesn’t look back and blame the past. Every time I see her husband, Don, smile I am inspired not to give up.
Just recently Sandra shared this e-mail with me:
What fun to think about our eternity to catch up on stories in heaven. And I'll get to meet your sweet little girl and you can meet my husband. If you need directions to my place, my human mind offers these: My cabin is way in the back, set against a green hillside, and surrounded by flowering dogwood trees and eternally blooming violets.
Life can be hard, but as my friend, Sandra, has taught me, it never hurts at times to have little cabin fever and know there are better things, people and places to see and enjoy.
“Often, the best way to look at life is through the front windshield, not the rear view mirror.” ~ Steve Karabatos
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