Finally Official

On Wednesday, April 4th, Amy and I enjoyed a shining moment when we received the long awaited 'Letter of Approval' (LOA). In adoption terms, it is akin to Indiana Jones finding the Holy Grail. We are finally, officially approved to become Lia Faith's family. Now we must remain patient as the process will be completed over the next few months.

Despite the joy of finally getting that much closer to bringing Lia home, I have been experiencing a rather uneasy feeling lately. It is difficult for me to admit such, but when I look back on my life it is nothing to be ashamed of, but rather just a phase I believe many fathers and parents go through. Allow me to explain.

When I was twenty-one and standing at the front of a church waiting for Amy to walk down the aisle, I had an uneasy, nervous feeling. What happens if we aren’t compatible or she finds out how annoying I can be or if it just doesn’t work out? All those nervous feelings went away when I saw her coming down the aisle.

I was twenty-three when our son was born and I remember standing in the doorway of his hospital room holding him feeling inadequate, unworthy, untrained, but strangely I felt a strong sense of purpose and worth I never experienced before. It was a mission I could not fail, a sense of hope.

When I was twenty-five our oldest daughter was born. Since I had never had a sister, I felt uneasy and ill-prepared wondering what I had to offer a girl. The answer was simple and freeing at the same time: I had only to give myself, but that was all I needed.

Eleven years later, Amy and I flew halfway across the world to bring our second daughter home. This time I felt uneasy and a little crazy. Quite frankly, I’m an unorganized person attempting to adopt a ten-month-old little girl from China. However, my wife is very organized and with God’s blessing we brought our daughter safely home. Through it all, God spilled His grace all over our lives.

Now Amy and I are preparing for the final adoption stages when yet again, we will fly to China this time to bring Lia home. I assume she will also be nervous and scared. It’s hard to imagine at eight-years-old having to relocate to a different home, different country and live with people she’s never met. She will meet new friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. She will have to adjust to a new language, new foods, new sounds and smells, and a new school.

Throughout this adoption process we have met with our share of uncertainty. Yet, it’s been an opportunity to exercise our faith in ways we would never have imagined had we just said no thanks and kept moving on with life.

So, why the uneasiness, I guess it’s just par for the course. Nervousness seems to be a precursor to events that bring great joy for years to come. So, bring it on.

Swavel