My Eulogy

Strange, but I think it wise to plan ahead for one’s death, so the following is what I would like done and read when I am dead.

- If at all possible, I would like my funeral service held at the graveside of where I will be buried.

- If feasible, I would like the article, BETTER THAN BACON, printed in my funeral bulletin.  It is included for your convenience directly below my name.

- Preferably, I would like my son, Jordan, to read My Eulogy.

MY EULOGY

   :)

We all die someday, best to leave evidence of a life well lived behind us.

To those I have known and loved,

If you are reading and or hearing this, My Eulogy, I am no longer here. To be honest, I’m not surprised.   I knew it was coming, like it is for all of us.   My expiration date has come due and my new address is in Heaven with Jesus. Not of my doing, but all His, woo-hoo for me!

In my honest estimation, there is way too much confusion at funerals. Throughout my lifetime, I have been to my fair share of funerals and have heard plenty of eulogies, where other people say what they think you believe or add in their own ideas.  Then they tend to remember the best about you, true or not, full of much emotion, and perhaps even cry.  Then they leave and eventually as life continues go on about life.  However, for me I think God wants people to know what I was about and I better have been about His business or else I was wasting my time on this planet.

The toughest thing to handle about death tends to be is that it is so final. The following are some profound lyrics written by Steven Curtis Chapman that convey my sentiment regarding my death:  I’ll SEE you in a little while, I’ll SEE you in a little while. It won’t be too long now. We’ll SEE it on the other side, the wait was only a blink of an eye.  So I’m not gonna say goodbye, cause I’ll SEE you in a little while.  No need to worry, I will see you again, if you know Jesus that is and we’ll catch up on things then.

  

To me, our bodies are a lot like a plastic Wal-Mart bag that carries our soul for as long as it can and then sadly wears out.  Paul tells us in the Bible that, we brought nothing into this world & it is certain that we can carry nothing out. When we die we will travel light when we meet our Maker.  Remember, the only thing that ever truly mattered anyway is what we have done with and for Jesus while we were here. 

So, that’s it. If you are interested in other thoughts that God impressed on me feel free to read my blog, PERHAPS.  Most specifically the article called Whoa Moments from April 14^th, 2014. Till we meet again, walk with Jesus, get to know Him and then share Him with everyone you meet.

My eulogy is only a record of what I did with my life and I pray that when God does the editing it will make sense.

Swavel

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Here is what I want in the bulletin

Better Than Bacon

In my final words, I want to impress on you the need to be right with God.

Make sure your exit strategy for eternity is undersigned by Jesus.

A little while ago, my family and I flew into Texas for my son’s graduation.  It was there at the hotel check-in counter I had an epiphany.  As the manager handed my credit card back to me she made mention of complimentary breakfast and then she uttered this profound thought:  bacon on Monday. 

The words hung in the air like I had just won the lottery, because who doesn’t love bacon?  Especially the free kind and nothing would be better than bacon on our last day before a long flight home to Pennsylvania.

Needless to say the bacon was alright, but in many ways it sounded better than it actually tasted.   It got me to thinking that so many of us are living our lives, me included, like how we make and eat bacon, leaving a greasy mess.  Many of my relationships, and how I do things when I do my own thing, leave a lot to be desired.  Consequently, I have left a lot of smudges.

Come to think of it, so many of us are so set on doing our own thing and when we get what we want, like that bacon, we are disappointed.  Simply put, heaven is better than anything we can come up with on our best day, even bacon.

Here is my exit strategy on how to live life, while trying to avoid the smell of the bacon, better known as the cares of this life:

Pursue Jesus so closely that you have to hang on to His shirt tail, so that all you can see is Him.  Similar to when I take off my glasses and wander down the halls at work, while I just keep following the florescent lights overhead.  It never fails; I always end up at one of those bright orange exit signs leading me to the way out.

Truth be told, no one gets out of this life alive: we all die.  Therefore, we all should have an exit strategy when it comes to death, so as to make the most of each precious day we have.

Meeting Jesus is so much better than bacon that you’ll forget it was even an option.

Swavel   

At A Loss

A truly wise person uses few words…  Proverbs 17:27

We live in a chaotic world, to say the least.  Subsequently, we can fight against ourselves, fight amongst ourselves or come to grips with it and do something about it by choosing our words wisely.

Months ago, there were riots in Baltimore, Maryland, that were so dangerous they had to cancel Orioles’ games.  Does this make sense? No. However, I love the video where the one mom is grabbing her son by the arm, while yelling at him to not to join the mob.  While he’s trying to break free and pull his hood up, she’s still speaking a few choice words of wisdom trying to convince him not be such a fool.

Just the other week, there were nine people killed ruthlessly in a church in Charlotte, South Carolina.  Does this make sense?  No. What also doesn’t make complete sense is that because the killer had a hatred for people of a certain race there has been a call to remove the Confederate flag from all public areas.  Initially, I agreed because the Confederate symbol can be seen as somewhat inflammatory.  Nonetheless, the idea of taking the Confederate flag down may be soothing to those it offends, but in reality the flag had nothing to do with the killing of those precious souls.  A demented lost soul was responsible for that despicable act.

History tells us that Hitler and the Nazis, in an unspeakable evil act against mankind, killed over 11 million people during the Holocaust.  Does this make sense?  No.  It does not make sense either that some try to deny it.  I believe this is a phenomenon that some people  have because they haven’t witnessed the event personally with their own eyes of how brutal and cruel  humans can be to one another.  Truth is we live in a sanitized world and can’t even begin to imagine the evil that the Nazis and Hitler unleased on those they hated.  They were trying to take over the world and the mentality was that if you weren’t with them, you were against them. 

Several years ago, I saw proof in a museum there that were people that jumped into Niagara Falls to see it they could survive.  Did this make sense?  No. I once read of an account of one guy who jumped in about 10 years ago.  What he said was not anything revealing except he hit hard and going over the Falls was like being in a giant tunnel, going straight down, surrounded by water . The reason he jumped was he was struggling with depression and it seemed more of a result of one man’s search for 15 minutes of fame, than anything else.  This act of silly foolishness did cause the man to realize that life is worth living.

The truth is sometimes there is no real good answer as to why some people act a a certain way or why some things happen the way they do. Now, by no means am I demeaning anyone who wants answers to many of life’s debilitating questions,   However, sometimes there are just no answers or answers we must wait to get from God Himself.

Quite simply the conclusion I came to is this: God Is God and I am not.  I think the biggest problem I had with God’s way of doing things in the past was he does not have a suggestion box, nor does He take advice from me.  However, the more time passes I have realized it is good God does not consult a flawed human like myself, because I would just screw things up.

For one moment though let’s apply this principle.  What if Noah questioned God’s reasoning and refused to build the ark.  The answer is God was not changing his plan and all of us as we know it would be dead.  And I would not be typing this thought or any other thought for that matter.  Another example is what if Jesus had refused to be born of a virgin, live for 33 years, unjustly be convicted of wrongdoing and die alone.  The answer is I we all would be in a world of hurt and none of us would have hope for Eternity.

The list can go on, but the point is with God you must have faith in Him or else you can just do your own thing.  The reason I don’t do my own thing is I have done nothing to cause my own existence, can do little to guarantee its continued existence and know I have an expiration date,

Being at a loss for words is a lot better option  than wasting your breath trying to explain something that is purely elusive.

Swavel

Connect the Dots

 If you never step outside your comfort zone what you are missing will never come find you.

About four years ago, I was introduced to a language I had heard about but never fully understood how it worked.  The language is Braille and it was created to help the blind read and communicate.  It is one of the most fascinating languages I have ever experienced.  What appears to be a random sequence of bumps, that makes little sense to the untrained eye, is in actuality a six dotted domino, with each cell representing a letter.

This language was created by the remarkable Louis Braille, who to say the least had a rough life.  He was the Steve Jobs of his day, however being an innovator back in his day did not wield him any power or bring him any recognition or profit.  Rather he was disdained for his innovation and brilliant ideas.  He even died in the prime of his life.

 Louis Braille was born in 1809 in Coupvray, France, during Napoleon‘s failed attempt to conquer Europe.  The challenges began early at the age of three, when Louis suffered a devastating eye injury while playing with his father’s saddle making tools.  Subsequently, he lost his eyesight because of the infection that set in and from the primitive treatments of the practitioners of the time whose methods instead of helping did permanent harm.

Despite this setback opportunity knocked at the age of ten when Louis was selected to attend a special blind school in Paris, four hours from his home.  It was there at the age of twelve that he was introduced to night writing or artillery code, a precursor to Braille.  This was a primitive way for the blind to read using dots and dashes that were raised or embossed created by a man named Captain Barbier.  His code of dashes and dots was complicated and clumsy, seeing it used huge cells and needed more than a fingertip to read.  Louis took to this form of communication and at one time met the Captain personally to make some helpful suggestions to make it easier to use.  However, Barbier didn’t take kindly to a blind child’s suggestions and become annoyed refusing to listen to him.

Not one to sulk, at the age of fifteen Louis Braille unveiled a new alphabet in which he created 63 ways to use a six cell dot, where all the symbols fit under the fingertip. This would eventually become known as language we today call Braille.  Louis also worked hard on the Braille music code he wrote while in his twenties.   Also, in his mid-twenties he contracted tuberculosis which most likely came from a poor diet and unhealthy living conditions.

In his mid-thirties people began publicly to call the dot system by his name: Braille.  Sadly, before widespread distinction could reach him,  Louis Braille died at the age of 43 on January 6, 1852.  For a while, due to ignorance mixed with jealously, there were some who tried to ban the use of Braille among the blind, with a big complaint being the Braille dots do not resemble print letters.

Regardless, two years after his death in1854, France adopted Braille as its official communication system for the blind.  Eventually, Louis Braille’s system spread throughout the world and of course still bears his name today   Braille has been adapted to nearly every language on earth and remains the major medium of literacy for blind people everywhere.

So, I guess it just goes to show we must never give up when it comes to helping others to see what really matters.  Thank goodness, Louis Braille didn’t just throw his hands up in disgust and go in sit in a corner and pout. Instead, he showed the world he knew what he was doing. 

Connect the dots is a great reminder that our world only stays complicated if we allow it.

Swavel

**Footnote: I gathered information for this article from this website:  www.brailler.com/braillehx.htm

Hmmm

 
A moment in time sometimes can only be captured by your mind’s eye and then held in your soul forever.

Hmmm is that wordless, special moment that you don’t want to mess with, but rather you let it play itself out. There are two kind of hmm moments: the tough kind and the good kind.

The tough kind is like a death in the family or a break up or other such events when a heart is broken.  During those times flippant words can make it worse.  During tough times I hate when I can’t make it better for my family and or friends.   Rather, a hand on the shoulder or a hug is the only thing that can remotely suffice and relay my sympathy.

The good kind of hmmm moment however you don’t want to rush and end before it has entirely unfolded. These moments are just magical with no need to define or explain when the heart is soaring.  For example, it’s like when your kid is born or hits a homerun or gets married.

Speaking of, here are some such moments in time from my son, Jordan and his bride, Miranda’s wedding on Saturday, June 13^th:

* During the ceremony, Steve, a family friend and the officiating pastor said the key word to remember was REPEAT.  When he said it I thought how perfect. Every lasting relationship has elements in it that are familiar. Unfortunately, there are no ancient Chinese secrets to a happy marriage; at least that I am aware of anyway.  When you truly love someone, you love being with them and spending time with them.  In essence, you repeat the act of love every day as you move together and marvel where it takes the both of you.
  
* After the wedding concluded I high fived my son on his way down the aisle to leave the ceremony with his bride. It was just one of those opportunities to let my son know of my approval of his choice.  Some things are best when they are simple and to the point. On a side note, there was a Big Hero 6 moment when I fist-bumped the groomsman who ushered my lovely wife and I out of the ceremony. Fa la la la.

* There were smiles and tears a plenty as Miranda danced with her dad during the reception. It was obvious during their special father-daughter dance how much they loved one another.   Fathers need to show their daughters they approve as well and it was nice to see it so openly on display.

* However, the most definite thumbs up in my soul kind of moment had to be when the groom danced with bride.  Jordan led Miranda around the dance floor arm in arm as he carefully led her and periodically spun her in circles . Marriage is like a good dance because you are partners and you need to stay in step with one another.

The best part of marriage however is what is to come; the wedding is just the beginning of the book.   There are so many more chapters yet to be written.  My advice is to always stay close to God, the author, and let Him pen you a masterpiece.
 

Hmmm should be another way of describing marital bliss, not a sarcastic remark meant to cause harm.

Swavel

 

Lights Out

Simple, yet effective concept in life - finish what you started.

Many years ago, in what seemed another lifetime - I was a church softball coach.  To be accurate I wasn’t particularly good, but I enjoyed doing it for the most part.  No pay, lots of phone calls, plenty of complaints and I always was the last to leave.

One of the things that came with the job was being there early to line and rake the infield and put the bases in the ground.  It was often lonely work, but it was like writing the foreword in a book, something that needed to be done so things get begin.  The job however I remember most fondly was turning the lights off after the game.

The peculiar thing about turning off the lights was that it was a love/hate kind of thing.   On the nights that we lost I hated it, because I just wanted to go home. Consequently I would drive my car out to the shed, which was approximately a few hundred feet from the center field fence, pull the switch, jump back in the car and dejectedly go home.  It was like putting the field to sleep, like you tuck your kids in before they go to sleep, after you had a particularly trying evening.  Love you, sleep good, goodnight and hit the switch.

However on the nights that we won, I loved turning off the lights because it was heaven.  Needless to say, in the early years that wasn’t so frequent.  On those nights I didn’t want to hit the switch and end the party.    On those nights I would walk and not drive to the shed to turn off the lights.  Time didn’t seem to matter because I wanted to bask in the glow and relive the highlights of the game in my mind.  As I would stand out past centerfield and look at the ball field, l felt like a proud father taking it all in and smilingly remembering.  Then I would turn the lights out and beamingly go home.

That reminds me of an inspirational quote entitled The Essence of A New Day.  It goes like this… This is the beginning of a new day.  You have been given this day to use as you will.  You can waste it or use it for good.  What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.  When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good. 

    

For me, lights out is a husband and a father’s privilege, one I have had for some twenty six years now.  It is an opportunity to momentarily evaluate the completed day.  One in which hopefully I haven’t wasted because life is too short; here one moment, gone the next.  So, someone has to turn out the lights, why not me. 

Lights out is that sacred moment when the chapter of today’s book is complete and you must put a bookmark in it till tomorrow

Swavel

Ignore the Dog

 Encouraging bad behavior is akin to allowing a bull to roam free in a china shop...

Here is a fact:  I am not a dog person.  Rather, I would like to be characterized as a dog appreciator because there is something unique a dog can give to their owner.

About two months ago, my family and I got a dog.  His name is Jax.  We found him at an SPCA and after a week of searching other places we decided to get him.  He is a five and half years old, Jug, which is part Jack Russell and part Pug.  Jax is a great dog and that is saying a lot since dogs and I are not usually best of friends.

The main reason our family decided to get a dog is because of our daughters.  We wanted our youngest daughter to learn to connect with dogs, so one day she can get her own seeing-eye dog and get around on her own. Owning a dog also provides an excellent opportunity for our oldest daughter to gain valuable responsibility taking care of him and garner some companionship as well.

The one annoying habit our dog displayed initially was bark uncontrollably when we come home from somewhere.  To remedy the problem, we watched a dog trainer video on you-tube.  His advice was simple - IGNORE THE DOG.  Amazingly, it works like a charm.  Often when I come home, I talk under my breath to remind myself - ignore the dog.

The premise of ignoring the dog works because the animal reacts to us.  If we yell when we get home, he gets excited and responds accordingly.  If we stay calm, he stays calm. What a great lesson from man’s best friend.

Many successful people are known for being at their best when things are at their worst or most stressful. There are many words to describe it: unflappable, irascible, undeterred, regardless, cool as a cucumber, calm and collected. It is almost as if things slow down for some people when things are going crazy all around them.

 

Here are a few examples of those who have ignored the dog and done what needed to be done:

·         Early in his pro basketball career, Michael Jordan’s critics claimed that his jump shot wasn’t good enough. So, in the off season, he took hundreds of shots every day until he became what many now consider one of the greatest basketball players of all time.

·         Throughout her life, Mother Teresa, set out to love the least of these, the little orphans of India.  Regardless of how small and frail her stature was, she didn’t stop until God took her home.

·         Despite being President during the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln persevered till he freed the slaves, despite being hated and eventually assassinated.

·         Then there is Joni Erickson Tada who despite being paralyzed in her late teens did not let her wheel chair keep her down.  With God’s help, over thirty years ago, she established a ministry called, Joni and Friends, which supports and aids the handicapped community worldwide.

The art of remaining calm and confident is one we should all strive to master. Whether it is just training our dog to behave, or doing something of critical or eternal significance.

Ignore the dog or whatever it is that tries to drag you down to its level.

Swavel